She wove her fingers together and clenched them tightly. It was really none of his business, and yet at the moment the weight of it seemed incredibly heavy. She had no one else with whom to share the burden. He’d shown such kindness to Arianna. In addition, his concern touched her, made her want to relieve herself of some of the pressure suddenly bearing down on her. She sighed. “The residence and the land surrounding it—my father did not deed them outright to me but placed them into a trust for safekeeping. As he did with the twenty thousand pounds originally set aside to serve as my dowry. But the trusts come with a stipulation of which I was unaware until today. I don’t think my solicitor ever gave it any credence because it was so ludicrous. And he didn’t read the manuscript before taking it to the publisher at my request.” She found it difficult to go on, to realize what a fool she’d been. But Knightly, of course, had no such misgivings.
“The stipulation?”
She cleared her throat, wishing the noise didn’t sound so loud in this quiet part of the gardens. “If I’m ever arrested, simply charged with—not necessarily convicted of—a crime, such as indecency, or even proven to be of questionable character by those who now oversee the trusts, the contents will transfer in whole to the current Earl of Bremsford.”
“Bloody hell.” The words were uttered in a harsh and heated growl beneath his breath that no doubt scorched the surrounding fauna.
“Yes, quite,” she agreed, more softly, in resignation because she didn’t know how she was going to avoid holding this secret forever. Secrets always made their way from the darkness to the light. Her mother was supposed to be her father’s secret lover—and then she wasn’t. Everyone learned about her. Her father’s by-blow was to be a secret. Eventually, she, too, was found out. Just as Arianna would be.
“Questionable character,” he muttered. “If Bremsford were to learn about Arianna—”
“Fortunately, he can’t hurt me there. The stipulation is carefully worded to apply only to behavior that occurs since my father passed. Anything that happened before his death, he excused.”
“You told me your father was overjoyed to have her in his life.”
“He was. However, as much as he loved her, he was terribly disappointed that I’d placed myself in a position to have a child and no husband. He was also quite irate that I refused to tell him anything at all about who might be her father. But to have punishedme with anything other than expressing his ire would have made him a hypocrite, since he also had an illegitimate child.”
“You neglected to mention that he wasn’t happy with you.”
She shrugged. “You asked what he thought of Arianna.”
“Therefore, this ridiculous addendum to the trusts is his attempt to bring you to heel... from the grave?”
“Yes, I suppose it is.”
Learning about that clause in the terms of the trusts had gutted her. She’d always thought his love had been unconditional, but his words had put a condition on her survival. She’d never thought he had it within him to be cruel, but now she was left to wonder if she would ever know a man who wouldn’t disappoint her.
“Without the trusts, I would not be a good prospect for marriage to a lord who is in need of the funds that one of those trusts can provide.” She chuckled darkly. “Because I was born out of wedlock, my entire life my parents insisted I must be above reproach... and I’ve failed miserably. First because I lost my head to your charms and then for want of revenge. The latter, however, is now a threat to my future. Ironically, tonight the Dowager Duchess of Kingsland told me revenge is a double-edged sword, and already I feel it pricking my skin.”
While it was unfair, she hated Knightly for it. He’d torn her heart asunder, and in so doing, had ruined her life. Was it unfair of her to want to ruin his a bit?
His warm palm came to lay gently against hercheek. “You penned a book, Reggie. It’s not as though you committed murder.”
She did wish he wouldn’t use his pet name for her. It brought to mind far too much intimacy shared between them. “I know I should tell Chidding because he needs to understand precisely what he’ll be stepping into if he marries me, but a thousand quid could be incredibly tempting to a man in his dire straits.”
“A man can’t live on a thousand pounds for the remainder of his years.”
“You started with less and look where you are now.”
“Be honest with yourself. You don’t trust him completely. How can you marry a man you don’t trust?”
“I went to a church to marry a man I did trust and that didn’t turn out so well, did it?”
His hand fell. “No, I suppose it didn’t.” He turned away.
“Don’t turn your back on me,” she fairly hissed through clenched teeth.
He spun around, and even with all the shadows surrounding them, she could make out him plowing his hands through his hair. “I meant no insult. I was striving to determine a way out of this mess.”
“You can’t do it facing me?”
“You’ve always served as a distraction.” He flashed a grin. “But you’re correct. We need to work on this together. He suspects you of being Anonymous because he suspects me of being Lord K. He also knows I have a copy of the book and have no doubt read it. At the club the other night, he wanted me to confirm it was our story—yours and mine.”
Was that what had led to the altercation? “Chidding mentioned an incident at the club.”
“I took exception to some things he said, but I didn’t confirm you were the author, which is no doubt one of the reasons he’s offered the bounty. He thinks it’s you and seeks proof. If we continue to pretend a reconciliation, perhaps he’ll be convinced it must be someone else. The furor over the book will eventually die down. Another scandal will replace it, and Bremsford will give up the hunt. If I were you, however, I would reconsider the wisdom in penning that second volume.”
She wondered if he could see her wicked smile. “But plotting your horrific demise has brought me such joy.”
