She got up from the desk and walked to the window. Night had fallen. Mama had retired. Sam had gone out for a little gaming and “other entertainments” he’d told her before leaving, not bothering to invite her to join him nor apologizing for disturbing her. She very much suspected he was going to a brothel.
Why were men allowed their dalliances and not women?
She thought of Rook’s offer, the one she would have to ask for. Why shouldn’t she ask? It wasn’t as though she was ever likely to marry. She wasn’t being unfaithful, except perhaps to herself if she didn’t embrace this opportunity to experience all her heart longed for.
He wasn’t going to take everything. Yet still he’d deliver pleasure. Considering how his kisses made her feel, just thinking of what may be beyond made her tingle in places she didn’t even know a woman could tingle.
If all went well tomorrow night, she’d soon be leaving this country, perhaps never to return. Didn’t shedeserve, once in her life, to put herself first? Her own desires, her own wants, her own needs?
If she was ever going to engage in relations with a man, she wanted to do so with Rook—Johnny. Because she’d fallen for him. Head over heels. She couldn’t identify exactly when it had happened. She’d spent hours examining her feelings, striving to take apart all the many minutes when they were together.
With him, she was more herself than she’d ever been with anyone else, including her father. She’d certainly have not told him about the thrust comment. But she could tell Rook anything. He never made her feel judged. As a matter of fact, when she was with him, she was exactly what her mother had ordered her to be: interesting.
He never stared off in the distance as though enduring the minutes until their time together ended. He engaged with her, asked questions, and understood her need to explore, to decipher how things operated. He’d gifted her with the knowledge of how Big Ben and the chimes worked.
She suspected no one else could so well satisfy her curiosity regarding all that could transpire between a couple. For hours.
Her only hesitancy was what if hours weren’t enough. What if she yearned for a lifetime?
Although perhaps one memory was better than none at all.
She trusted him to hold her secrets. And she knew a place where a lady’s secrets were safely guarded. All she had to do was find the courage to grasp what she’d always feared she was to be denied.
Chapter 15
For the next two hours, I will be at the Elysium. Same chamber as before. Should you wish to join me.
Sitting behind the desk in his library, Rook knew he should ignore the summons. She was making him do things he’d sworn to never do, was causing him to risk tarnishing his reputation.
He lifted his gaze from the missive to the handsome young man, dressed in evening attire, who’d insisted on delivering it personally to Rook’s hand. He recognized him as one of the gentlemen who flitted around Aiden’s club like a bee in search of pollen, stopping briefly here and there to give attention to a woman. He wondered if he’d showered his false affections on Nora, rubbed her feet, touched his fingers to her lips while feeding her grapes. He had an urge to get up and punch the man. He didn’t want anyone touching or spoiling her, except for himself.
However, he did shove back his chair and stand. “I’ll deliver the reply myself.”
The blighter didn’t seem at all surprised. “Will yoube traveling back with me, sir? Mr. Trewlove thought you might.”
He cursed his brother, who had somehow unequivocally discerned the purpose of the message and what it portended. Who would also, no doubt, tease Rook unmercifully because doing Aiden’s bidding had, in fact, turned out to be a favor to Rook.
Blast the man for being too perceptive by half.
He could have his own carriage readied, but the time that would take meant leaving her waiting and wanting longer than necessary, perhaps to the point that she would regret sending word to him. Especially as he was fairly certain she wasn’t seeking a kiss this time, but wanted to explore what went beyond it.
So he accepted the offer that allowed him to get to her as quickly as possible and tried not to contemplate that he was doing it not so much as a favor to her but to himself. Even if it turned out that all she truly wanted was to sit on the chaise longue and have them stare at each other, at least he’d be in her presence once again.
Waiting, hopefully not in vain, wringing her hands, Leonora paced the small room at the Elysium.
How did one—she couldn’t use the word he’d used as it was far too carnal, caused her to feel heated as though she sat in the middle of a fire—get bedded without actually being bedded? Perhaps it was the location. One was chaised or grounded or... chaired?
A little over an hour ago, she’d written the missive, her hands shaking. She rather wished she’d prepared the message before she arrived, using the writingmachine to tap out the letters, so he wouldn’t know how nervous she was. She hadn’t signed it—in case it fell into the wrong hands, somehow fell into her mother’s to be precise. But it now occurred to her that a man as handsome as he probably received notes like hers all the time, and he might not know exactly whom it was from. If he came, he might be expecting someone else. Would she see disappointment on his face when he realized it was her? Had he not yet shown because he knew it was her or because he didn’t?
Obviously arranging clandestine trysts was not her forte. Worrying over them was.
She should leave. Save herself the mortification of waiting for a man who didn’t arrive. However, time was needed to deliver the message, read it—he could be a very slow reader—then travel here. It seemed patience wasn’t her forte either.
She heard the soft click, the press of the latch on the door. The walls to these rooms were thick, creating a cocoon that prevented sounds from entering or leaving, producing the sense that here one was remarkably alone in the world. Ceasing her pacing, she stared as the portal that would deliver him opened and widened.
Rook stepped inside and closed the door in his wake. He stayed where he was and watched her, his small smile giving the impression that she was precious and required a moment of appreciation. She was remarkably happy that he’d shown up, hadn’t abandoned her to her doubts.
“I hope my delay in responding to your missive didn’t cause you worry. I had a few matters to tend to first.”
