Instead, she was beginning to realize, it was incredibly complex. Not a requirement for matrimony. On the contrary, it was really too flighty a thing upon which to make an important decision that would affect her for the rest of her life. Hadn’t her mother drilled that into her enough? Marriage should be dependent upon choosing a partner who would help to ensure her survival and that of her family.
The man beside her certainly had the financial means, but survival meant more than coin. Besides, he’d given no indication that anything between them was more than a moment’s passing, a game to be won. Oh, he might dance with her in a ballroom, take her on midnight excursions, but that didn’t mean he wanted to marry her. He was her secret, and she was his. These little clandestine assignations were certainly a secret.
Maybe it was their secretive nature that made them so enjoyable, that added an element of excitement because she was doing what she ought not. If she ever did marry, she’d go to her marriage bed without fear and nervousness, knowing almost exactly what to expect. The final bit, the actual joining, the feel of it was an unknown, but she was fairly certain, if tonight was any indication, it was going to be something she craved.
She stared ahead at the horse’s rump. “What you did tonight... is that always part of it?”
“Not always.” His voice was a deep caress in the night, and perhaps because of that it made her brave.
“Have women ever done something similar to you?”
“Yes.”
“Are you disappointed I didn’t?”
With his other hand, he reached around to press the tips of his fingers to the far side of her face and turned her toward him. “No. The very last thing I wanted was for you to do anything with which you were uncomfortable. It brought me great satisfaction to bring pleasure to you. All the little sounds you make, the manner in which you squirm, the way you move your hands over me as though you want me to never leave... I enjoyed every moment.”
“I realize it’s rather late to be asking, but you won’t tell anyone what we’ve done.”
“No.” He flashed a grin that was caught by a streetlamp they passed. “This stays just between us.”
She fought off the sudden thought that he was holding it secret because he was ashamed to be seen with her. Just once in her life, she wanted a man to whom she wasn’t related to want her for her. She hoped the darkness disguised her thoughts, that he couldn’t discern how his words hurt. It was silly that they did. She’d sent for him. He’d come. And she’d been glad of it. She would be a fool—a hypocrite—to regret it now.
The hotel came into view. This glorious, miserable night was almost over. How was it possible to reach both the pinnacle of happiness and the depths of misery in one evening, and to bounce repeatedly between the two depending on where her thoughts traveled? She was not one to feel sorry for herself, and yet she wished she hadn’t had to send for him. But then she was ever so grateful she had.
The hansom came to a stop, and the doors swung open. Having already instructed the driver that he’dbe making two stops, he disembarked and handed her down. “Are you all right?”
She forced a small smile. “Just tired.”
He escorted her to the door where a footman stood watch, preparing to open it for her.
“Sleep well, Nora,” Rook said quietly.
She suspected she wouldn’t sleep at all. Then because she didn’t want to watch him walk away, she ducked into the hotel and made her way to their suites. It was so remarkably quiet... and dark. She’d left a lamp burning low in her bedchamber, but nowhere else. Gingerly, squinting to make out the shadowy shapes of the furniture, she crept to her room, opened the door, and stepped inside.
“Where have you been? And with whom have you been?”
Jerking her head to the side, she stared at her mother, standing in the corner, her arms folded over her chest, looking very much like a wrathful goddess with her nightdress and wrap flowing around her. Leonora was grateful her window looked out on the gardens at the rear of the hotel and not on the street. She considered lying, but her mother would probably know. She always knew.
“I was at the Elysium. It’s a club for ladies.”
“I’ve heard rumors about it. Naughty things go on there. What did you do?”
“I played games.”I won and I lost. At the same time.
“What sort of games?”
“Cards.”
Mama narrowed her eyes. “Why don’t I believe you?”
With a sigh, Leonora removed her pelisse and draped it over the foot of the bed. “I don’t know.”
“If word gets out that you were there—”
“It’s an incredibly discreet club. No one talks about who is there. The owner—Aiden Trewlove, by the way, one of the men Sam has approached—will banish anyone who reveals anything about the ladies who frequent his establishment. Trust me, his disapproval is akin to being kicked out of heaven.”
Mama stepped forward. “You can’t be traipsing about London at all hours of the night. You must be above reproach if you are to gain a husband, if you are to ensure your father’s legacy.”
