He studied her for a heartbeat, two, as if searching for something important. “When I was twenty-one, I must have told Rachel a thousand times that I loved her. It was so easy to say.”
Not wanting to hear about his love for another, she almost strode away, but perhaps listening to his words would make it so she’d at least stop yearning for him.
“I loved her beauty, the way her lashes rested against her cheeks when she closed her eyes. The wayshe glided so elegantly into a room. The shade of her hair and her eyes. Everything I loved about her was visible. Everything I loved was what I could see and what would change over the years. Well, except for her eyes. However, none of the other things were permanent, and I’m left to wonder if my feelings for her would have remained permanent. But you—”
You were boringoryou aren’t pretty at alloryou...She could imagine all the unflattering words he might say. She would stand here and allow him to batter her with them so her heart would break and no longer be his. She would reassemble the broken shards like she had rebuilt numerous automatons. Once her heart was again whole, she could reclaim it and make it hers.
“You... obviously I’m attracted to you. Otherwise, I never would have stepped into the room that first night. But what I love most about you are all the things that aren’t visible. Your curiosity. Your clever mind that allows you to take things apart and put them back together. That allows you to envision something that’s never existed before. Your kindness. Your strength. Your determination to see something through to the end, even when your family is giving you very little support. Your ability to walk away, to go your own way when you’re convinced the path you’re on isn’t the right one.”
He loved something about her. As much joy as that knowledge brought, she knew he could love something about her without actually loving her.
“Those three little words—I love you—so easy to say to Rachel, as though they were part of a game, are so hard to say to you. Because my depth of feeling for you is stronger and deeper than anything I’ve ever experienced before. And it terrifies me. The thought of saying them, only to lose you. But you need to know that I love you as I’ve never loved anyone before. The words carry a massive amount of weight with them because they are so very important. As they should be. They shouldn’t be given lightly. But they should have been given before now. I love you, Nora, and I will love you until I draw my last breath. And that, I now know, was not true of what I felt for Rachel. It is, and will only ever be, true for you. All I want is for you to be happy. And if that means leaving me in order to carry on with your life as you want it to be, then at least leave me with a farewell kiss that I know is farewell.”
Her heart was pounding. Tears stung her eyes. Her voice was hoarse as she pushed out the words. “You said you loved me.”
“I do. I love you with all that I am, all I will ever be. And there is nothing that will poison my love for you.”
“You read my letter.”
“Several times. And I desperately want to kiss you right now. I just need to know if it’s to be farewell or welcome home.”
“It’s I love you.”
They came together as though they’d been apart for eons, with hunger, need, and gratitude. She hadn’t wanted to leave him. It had been the hardest thing she’d ever done. But she’d believed down to her core that she had no choice. That together they’d never find the happiness they deserved.
But now she knew the silliness of that thought. Because happiness was being locked in his arms while his mouth did wicked things to hers. She imagined they were shocking some passengers and she didn’tcare. What pleased her the most, however, was that he didn’t care. That they were being scandalous because couples didn’t kiss with such wild abandon where anyone could see them.
He trailed his lips over her neck, causing pinpricks of pleasure to cascade through her. “I’ve locked up the country estate. I’ll keep it maintained for the next generation, but it’s not for us. I’ll have to be in London when Parliament is in session, but when it’s not I’ll be in New York with you.”
“I was thinking maybe a factory in England would work.”
He lifted his head and gave her that devastating grin that the green fairy had fallen in love with that first night. Only now she realized it hadn’t been the green fairy at all. It had been her. All along, everything that had transpired had been her.
“I have no doubt you could make it work.”
There was another important matter that had to be resolved. “I won’t give you bastards.”
Sadness briefly touched his eyes before he nodded. “I can ensure that you don’t.”
By never having what they’d had the last time they were together. By denying her the powerful thrusts that he was so capable of delivering.
“So can I,” she told him before pouring all the love she held for him into her smile. “Did you know that a ship captain can marry a couple?”
That night they were married on the deck of the ship while a few strangers, an abundance of stars, and a full moon looked on.
Afterward they waltzed over the wooden surface while a violinist performed a series of tunes that echoed out over the water. Leonora thought she quite possibly might never be happier than she was at that moment while her handsome husband held her gaze.
She wore the gown she’d been wearing the night she met him. He was wearing the evening attire that had adorned him when he’d gone down on bended knee and removed her slipper.
Later, they were nestled in his bed, holding each other, husband and wife, lethargic after a frenzied lovemaking followed by a slower one.
Her head rested on his chest, his heartbeat sounding in her ear. He leisurely stroked her back.
“I’ll never grow tired of having you enveloping my cock when I push into you,” he said quietly.
She still was having a difficult time believing that he’d never enjoyed the full breadth of lovemaking... until her. She’d always wanted to be special to someone. With him, she was.
“Johnny,” she said softly, not certain if she really wanted him to hear her.
