Eighth grade was a special kind of hell for me. Things were changing, and I didn’t like it.
First there was Leo. He had always been the more popular one of our little group. His looks and his sports ability gave him more of an in with the other kids than Nate and I had. It had never seemed to make a difference between the three of us, but now it did. Suddenly Leo wanted to go to school dances. He wanted to hang out with the other kids, and although he invited Nate and me along, both of us knew that it wouldn’t work.
And then there were the girls. It seemed as though Leo was always surrounded with a bunch of giggling, smirking girls who flirted and teased him, wanted him to eat lunch with them, walk home with them ... it made me insane. Couldn’t he see how much this was hurting Nate and me?
Something else was going on with Nate. He had taken to calling me every night, just to talk and check in. The problem was that we spent most of the school day together, and there just wasn’t much to talk about at the end of the day. So I dreaded those phone conversations with their long and awkward silences. What was more disconcerting was that I often caught him staring at me the same way that Leo stared at other girls. It made me uncomfortable.
One December day, I came home from school and threw my books on the kitchen table. My mother was standing at the sink, and she turned to give me a look.
“Sorry,” I mumbled.
“Tough day?” she inquired, drying her hands as she came to sit next to me.
I sighed. “School was okay. But it’s so hard, Mom. Leo is just—he’s just weird now. He likes all these girls, and he hangs out with them, and it seems like he just doesn’t have time for me and Nate anymore. It’s not like it used to be.”
My mother reached over and smoothed my hair away from my face. “You’re all growing up, sweetie. You can’t expect everything to stay the same forever. So Leo is making some new friends. That’s okay. You could do that, too.”
“I don’tneednew friends,” I cried. “I like the ones I have. At least I did when they weren’t acting like idiots.”
“Why, what’s going with Nate? Is he hanging around with other kids, too?”
I shook my head. “No. Nate doesn’t hang out with anyone but me. But he’s with me all the time, and he looks at me—” I felt my face grow warm. “I just don’t like the way he looks at me.”
“Ah.” My mother smiled and touched my cheek. “So it seems Nate has a crush on you. Well, I can’t say I’m surprised. I wondered when one of the boys was going to realize what a beauty they had in their midst.”
“Mom!” I groaned, rolling my eyes. “Seriously. We’re friends. We’ve known each other literally forever. How could you say that?”
“What bothers you more, Quinn? The fact that Nate might have feelings for you, or the idea that Leo might not?”
To my utter mortification, tears filled my eyes. I dropped my head onto my folded arms.
“I love Nate, Mom. He’s like—I don’t know, kind of the brother I never had. And I always thought Leo was the same way. But then this year, when all these girls have been fussing over Leo, I felt—I guess I felt jealous. Jealous that he pays them so much attention and doesn’t really seem to care about me anymore.”
“I don’t blame you, sweetie. But let me ask you this. If it were Nate the girls were fawning over, would that bother you as much?”
“I don’t know. I guess so. I just can’t imagine it. Nate depends on me for everything. Maybe it might be a relief if he had someone else to count on.”
My mom nodded. “Interesting. Well, let me give you some advice. Just ride this out. Keep being Nate’s friend, but be Leo’s friend, too. Don’t let him see that you’re bothered by the girls. Pretty soon he’ll realize what—or who—he really wants.” She stood to give me a hug. “Have I told you lately that I wouldn’t be thirteen again for all the money in the world? But don’t let it make you sad, love. It’ll all come out right in the end.”
I tried to smile and believe that she was right. But I had a feeling that eighth grade was going to be a long year.
