My recovery from the virus that wouldn’t quit was slow. I was in the ICU for nearly a week, and then spent another five days in a regular room, arguing with whoever would listen that I wanted to go home.
And even once I was released and got home, I was still so weak that I couldn’t go back to school right away. It was frustrating as hell.
The only bright spot during the whole time was that Quinn came to visit me every day. She didn’t stay long, but she was always there, entertaining me with stories and making me laugh. I was glad to see that she seemed to have gotten over the whole deal with Leo and Sarah Jenkins. As a bonus, she rarely mentioned Jake Donavan, which I hoped meant she’d stopped dating him. I hadn’t been sure what was going on between the two of them, but more competition was not something I needed.
There was something different about Quinn, though. She was somehow softer, and there was a glow in her eyes that I’d never seen before. I was afraid to even think it, but I wondered if maybe my near-death brush had opened up her eyes to her true feelings for me. I thought about how long I should wait until I declared myself and admitted how I felt.
I’d been out of the hospital for about two weeks and was getting antsy to go back to school when Quinn stopped by one afternoon. We were getting closer to Thanksgiving, and my mother had been trying to talk me into staying at home through the holidays and returning after the new year.
But I was ready to be back in school. I felt stronger, and I wanted to spend more time with Quinn. I didn’t want to lose another minute together with the girl I’d loved for so long. Who could blame me for that?
“But are you sure you can handle school yet, Nate?” Quinn frowned, and I felt unreasonably annoyed. She was acting like my mother, and that was the last thing I wanted from her.
“Yes, I’m sure. God, you guys all act like I’ll be running a marathon when I go back. I’ll go to classes and come home. No big deal.”
Quinn glanced over my shoulder, and I was sure she was looking at my mom, silently communicating with her. They did that sometimes, like I was a kid who didn’t know when people were talking about him.
“Well, I’ll let you two visit.” My mother stood up, her lips pressed together. “Call me if you need anything.”
When the sound of her clicking heels had disappeared, Quinn looked up at me, worry and trepidation in her eyes. “Nate, I need to talk to you about something.”
Warning bells went off in my head, but I ignored them. “Okay. I actually want to talk to you about something, too. But it can wait. What’s up?”
She took a deep breath. “Nate, you know I love you, right? You know you’re my best friend. You always have been. I was so scared when you were sick. I couldn’t stand the idea of losing you.”
I reached over to squeeze her hand. “You’re my best friend and more, Quinn. I love you, too.” I hoped she heard the extra emphasis I put on the words.
“But ...”
God, how I hated that word. It always meant something shitty was about to go down.
We understand how much rowing crew means to you, Nate, but after this illness, we all agree it’s best that you step away from that for a time.
You’re absolutely normal, Nate, but you have a disease ...
“But you know, too, that Leo’s also my best friend. I love you both.” Tears welled up in her eyes. “And I wish there was an easier way to say this, Nate, some way that wouldn’t hurt you or make you mad at me, but I don’t think there is. The truth is, how I love Leo is a little different than how I love you. I’ve known that for a long time. And we’ve been, um ... we’ve been together for a little over a month now.”
I blinked.Together?What the hell did that mean?
“You ... you’re dating Leo? Like ... he’s your boyfriend?” I was amazed at how calm my voice sounded.
Quinn nodded. “Yes. We’re dating. We—it’s been going so well, Nate. Leo’s like a new person. Or an old person, because he’s like he used to be. He’s been wanting to come to see you since you got sick, but he didn’t want to upset you, either. But if you say it’s okay, he’d like to come over today.”
A red tint began to color my vision. I knew what it meant; I was getting too upset, and I needed to calm down, before my breathing went to hell and I had to have a treatment.
But damn it all to hell, this couldn’t be happening. Quinn was mine. She didn’t belong with Leo, and I thought I’d finally convinced her of that before I’d gotten sick. I’d felt bad for her, of course, but in the long run, I was better for her than Leo was. I was certain of that.
“Are you out of your mind? After everything that Leo did to us? How he treated us? How did this happen?”
Quinn wiped at her cheeks, biting down on her bottom lip. “It doesn’t really matter how. The fact is, we’re together. And we want you to be happy for us. But Nate, whether you are or not, whether you approve or not, nothing’s going to change. I love Leo. I’ve wanted this for a long time. Please, be glad for me. Be my friend, and tell me you’re okay with it.”
I opened my mouth to say something socially appropriate, something about being surprised, but I was still on a lot of medication, and sometimes I said unpredictable things.
“Are you sleeping with him?”
“Nate!” Shock threaded through her voice. “First of all, that’s none of your business. Second of all ... no.” She folded her arms over her chest. “Not yet.”
Not yet. So it was going to happen, but it hadn’t yet. I was honestly surprised, because I would’ve thought Leo would’ve nailed her first thing.
