She frowned and then nodded slowly. “Yeah. Sure.” She stood up and walked toward the door, following me as I moved down the hall a little way, far enough from the office that no one would overhear us.
I’d put a lot of thought into where I was going to do this. I’d heard of guys who planned out proposals with such precision, who chose the spot where they’d first kissed or had their first date. I could imagine that the place was important, because years later, they’d remember—that was where our real life together began. Place was important.
It mattered to me that I didn’t ruin any place that was special to Quinn. For the sake of privacy, I’d considered the playground, the place where I’d given into her and to myself, where we’d become us, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t sully that memory.
So here we were, in a nondescript hallway of the high school we’d be leaving in about a year. This was where I was going to say the words I didn’t mean, where I was going to break her heart. Where I was going to end us.
“What’s up?” She was still pissy from the spat we’d had the other day, and that worked in my favor. If she’d come to me with smiles and kisses, I’d have lost my nerve, for sure. But she stood there, arms over her chest, scowling.
I still wanted to kiss her senseless, but it was easier to keep my distance when she looked prickly.
“Quinn, listen.” I mirrored her pose, arms folded. “I’ve been thinking. And the thing is, this isn’t working.”I sounded so calm. No one would ever guess how much this was hurting me.
Her forehead wrinkled. “What isn’t working?”
“This.” I pointed at her and then at myself. “You and me. We gave it a good shot. It was fun for a while. But the reality is, I’ve got big plans. I need to focus on football, on getting into the right college, and even then, when I’m there, my whole life is going to be about football. I want to play in the pros. That’s my dream. I can’t have any distractions.”
Realization was beginning to dawn on her. I could see it in her face. “And I’m a distraction?”
I sighed, as though I was dealing with a small child. “Honestly, yes. I know that sounds cruel, but it’s the truth. And you don’t understand me. You don’t understand what I need, what my life is going to be ... you’re not a good fit, Quinn.”There it was. The brutal cut, the one that would make her hate me.
She took one step forward, stopped, and lifted her hands to her mouth, covering it. Her chest was moving up and down rapidly. “You don’t really mean this, Leo. We had a fight. We’ll get over it. We need to talk—”
“No, we really don’t.” I shook my head. “This isn’t about a fight. This is about ... both of us getting on with life. You’re not like me, Quinn, and I’m not like you. We were friends in grade school, but then we grew apart. That was natural, and when we tried to force it—it was fine for a while, but it’s not a long-term thing.”
Her face was wet now with tears streaming from her eyes. “You’re serious. You’re ending us.”
“Yes.” I couldn’t speak any louder than I did. And when she turned, her face in her hands as her back shook with sobs, I knew I had to get out of there, fast, before I dropped to my knees and begged her to forget what I’d said. Begged her to forgive me. Begged her to love me forever, no matter what.
“I’ll see you around, Quinn. I hope ... well, I hope you can be happy.”
“Happy? You hope I’m happy? You just destroyed my life, and threw everything I ever said to you back in my face, and you hope I’m fucking happy? Fuck you, Leo. Fuck you.” She spun around again, and I fled, sprinting down the hall and out the nearest doors I could find. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. Every fiber of me screamed out how wrong this was and told me to go back and tell her the truth.
But I couldn’t, because I loved her too much.
I got to my car and lifted my phone with trembling hands. “It’s me. I’m coming over. For the love of God, have something strong waiting for me. And line them up. It’s going to be a long night.”
