“I won’t.” I tried to sound definite without being hurtful. “I’m sorry, Nate.”
“You don’t know that. Right now, you’re upset. But when you’re not, maybe ...”
“Sure, Nate. Whatever you say.” I kissed his cheek. “See you Monday.”
I got through dinner with my parents and managed to keep my shit together until I could convincingly say I was tired and wanted to get ready for bed. Pretending that everything was fine was exhausting, so that wasn’t much of a stretch.
I’d just changed into sweats when there was a knock at my bedroom door. I called out an invitation, and my dad stuck his head into the room.
“Hey, sweetie. Got a minute?”
I shrugged. “I guess. I’m really tired, though, Dad.”
“Yeah, I know. I just wanted to say ...” He leaned against the door frame. “I’m proud of you, honey. I get the feeling there’s more to what happened with Leo, and you could’ve made a big deal of it. But you’re thinking of other people. You don’t want to get between us and the Taylors, am I right?”
I sat down on the end of my bed. “Does it matter, Daddy? It is what it is. Leo—” Those stupid tears threatened again. I’d thought I was all cried out after Buffy. “He’s made his decision, and I’m moving on. Like we all should.”
“Hmm.” He nodded. “Teenaged boys are notorious for being idiotic and short-sighted. I sure was. But I’m not convinced that’s what Leo’s doing here. Not that it’s going to change anything, but maybe someday, it might help for you to remember Leo a little more kindly, if you realize you might not understand all his reasons right now.”
I snorted. “I don’t want to remember Leo at all, Dad. I’ll see him when I have to, until we graduate, and then I never want to hear his name again.” I hunched my back over my knees. “Boys are jerks. Do you know, I went over to Nate’s today for a little bit of distraction, and he actually tried to tell me that he’s in love with me? Why would anyonedothat? God.”
My father began to laugh. “Oh, sweetheart. I’m sorry. You’re right, boys are idiots and jerks. You should stay away from them until you’re at least forty, and even then proceed with caution.”
“Thanks, Daddy.” I stood up and crossed the room to give him a hug. “For a boy, you’re kind of cool.”
“That’s because your mom’s been whipping me into shape for years. This doesn’t come naturally, you know. You ever meet a good man, you’ll always find out there’s a better woman in his life somewhere. Eventually, you’ll meet a guy who has potential, and you’ll take the chance to be that woman.”
I shuddered. “Not for a long, long time. I don’t want to feel this pain again. Not ever.”
