“Leo Robert Taylor.”
At Mrs. Colby’s not-so-gentle nudging, I stumbled across the grass, earning snickers from the row of guys sitting to my right. I shot them the finger as I crossed in front of them, earning a gasp from Mrs. Colby. I glanced back over my shoulder at her and grinned, shrugging. What was she going to do to me now? Sure, she was our history teacher and class advisor, but I was graduating. Like, now. As in, out of here. Forever. And good fucking riddance.
Dr. Rider, the superintendent, stood at the podium, watching me approach. He offered me his hand to shake and a black cardboard folder to take. It was supposed to look like it was the diploma, but we all knew the folders were empty; the diplomas would come via mail next week. We might have been high school graduates, sure, but we weren’t quite trustworthy yet.
“Mr. Taylor.” He didn’t let go of my hand right away, as he’d done with everyone ahead of me. “Congratulations. We expect great things from you in the future. Good luck at Carolina State.”
“Thank you.” I felt the heavy weight of expectation fall on me, chasing away all the laughter from a few minutes before. The way Dr. Rider was looking at me, if I didn’t lead the Carolina Cougars to a championship all four yearsandwin the Heisman, I’d be letting down the whole town of Eatonboro.
He released me, nodding, as the principal announced the next name. I made my way around to the back of the senior class and filed into the half-empty row, dropping into my seat. The guy next to me, Greg Talb, offered me his fist to bump. I managed a smile and pounded it.
“Taylor. Yo, Lion!”
I raised my eyes to a few feet in front of me, where Matt was turned around in his seat.
“Dude, Shang’s parents gave him the beach house for the whole fucking weekend. We’re there, right?”
My chest tightened, even as I nodded and gave Matt a thumbs up. Partying the weekend away should’ve sounded like the best idea ever, but everything felt empty. Hollow. I thought of how often I’d imagined high school graduation—finally being free, finally being done. But every time I’d pictured it, I’d seen myself with one elbow slung around Quinn’s neck, her arm wrapped around my waist, and a summer of fun mapped out in front of us. I’d thought Nate would be giving me his typical crooked smile, the one that told me he saw through all my bullshit but still considered me his best friend anyway.
Instead, Quinn sat two rows in front of me, but she never looked back. She’d pulled her hair up into some kind of twisty deal today, probably to keep cool as much as to look good, knowing Mia. I’d been staring at the back of her neck since we’d sat down, all during the droning speeches by the president of the school board and the valedictorian, and the whole time they’d been calling other students’ names. When it was her name announced—Amelia Quinn Russell—I’d cheered, whistled and cat-called, mostly because she wasn’t close enough to know it was me doing it—but I was sure she’d known anyway.
After all, I deserved to celebrate my girl, even if she wasn’t mine anymore. Even if she never would be again.
The row of graduates behind us stood up and filed toward the front. Nate was toward the end, stepping carefully as he always did. He glanced back at me and caught my eye when the line paused for a minute. I smiled and nodded, and after a second’s hesitation, he returned the nod. Then the line began to move, and the kid behind him shoved his shoulder. Nate rolled his eyes and started walking again. I noticed he paused by Quinn’s chair to squeeze her hand. I could see her in profile, smiling up at him, and with a pang that felt like a stab wound, I closed my eyes and wished this fucking ceremony would end already.
Finally, it did. The principal dismissed us for the last time as students of Eatonboro High School, and then everyone was doing the whole throw-the-hat-in-the-air deal and talking at once. All the chicks were hugging each other, some of them crying, and I snorted. I was willing to bet most of them would never leave town. They’d stay here, get jobs, get married and have babies, popping out the kids who’d be standing here as graduates in about twenty years.
I couldn’t wait to leave this fucking town. The happiest day of my life would be when I was looking at it in my rear-view mirror, when I’d know I didn’t have to live through every day dreading the possibility of seeing Quinn. Of being close to her without being able to be near her. When I could put everything about us behind me.
“Lion!” Trish barreled into me. Two other cheerleaders stumbled next to her. They were all giggling and weaving, bumping into each other. They reeked of alcohol.
I held Trish away from me. “Hey, Trish. You okay?”
“Never better.” She slurred her words and laughed again. “Drunk graduation is so much more fun than ...” She squinted at me. “Stand still, Leo. You’re making me dizzy.”
I set her away from me, not as roughly as I wanted to. “Good luck, Trish. See you later.”God, I hoped not.
“But I want a kiss from the Lion! This is my last chance to bag the Lion.” The other two girls giggled again as they hung on each other.
My head hurt. “Not going to happen, Trish. Not now, not ever. You better go find someone else who’ll hold you up.” I started to turn around and then stopped. “You’re not driving, right? Where are your car keys?”
Trish blinked. “Not driving. We’re all going back on the bus. The parrrrrrrty bus!” She raised a fist in the air and yelled.
“Cool. Later.” I felt like I’d done everything I could. Watching them act like fucking idiots made me sick to my stomach. I pushed through the milling students, dodging parents who were searching for their new graduates, glancing around for my own family, when I heard my name again.
“Leo! Leo Taylor. Give me a hug, you big oaf.” Carrie Russell caught up with me and put her words into action, wrapping her arms around me tightly. “Congratulations, sweetie! Can you believe it? You guys are all done ...” Quinn’s mom fumbled in her bag, sniffling as she dug out a tissue. “It doesn’t seem possible. I swear it was just yesterday all three of you were playing naked together in your baby pool.”
An image of Quinn, naked beneath me, flashed across my mind. I gritted my teeth and pushed it aside as Bill Russell joined his wife, clapping a hand on my shoulder.
“Don’t mind her, Leo. She’s been crying all week. You’d think she’s never going to see all you kids ever again.” He gave my arm a quick squeeze. “We’re all proud of you, son. I can’t wait to see you playing down in Carolina.”
Carrie brightened. “There’s Sheri and Mark. Oh—and Quinn, finally. Come here, honey! Daddy and I’ve been looking for you.”
And then she was there, standing in front of me, as her mom hugged her tight, leaned back to hold her face and then drew her close again. Nate’s parents beamed at all of us, with Nate between them. He spared me a glance before returning his attention to Quinn.
“Carrie, I’m glad to see you’re emotional, too.” Sheri craned her neck, scanning the crowds. “Where’s your mom, Leo? And your dad?”
I shrugged. “They’ll meet me up on the bleachers. This is kind of same old, same old for them, you know? Plus my mom ... my father didn’t want her in the middle of all these people.”
