I slit my eyes open. “Your mom said you’ve been visiting a lot more recently. Seems to think there’s a reason why.”
“Does she?” He lifted his hands in a faux-innocent gesture. “Maybe, maybe not. Maybe I just enjoy seeing my parents and hanging with Ali.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “Sorry.”
“For mentioning her name? Don’t be. I know she’s your friend.” I hesitated. The wound was still tender, so I plunged ahead, getting all the pain out of the way at once by repeating the question I’d asked his mother. “How is she?”
“Do you really want to know?”
I shook my head and then nodded. “No. But yeah. I mean . . . do I want to hear that she’s never gotten over me and spits on the ground when she hears my name? Maybe. Or maybe it’s better to hear that she never mentions my name and doesn’t think about me at all. That I was just some guy she dated back in high school, and I never cross her mind.”
Alex blew out a sigh. “The truth, if you want it, is a little of both. She doesn’t mention your name. Neither do I, at least not in front of her. If someone else does . . .” He rubbed the back of his neck. “It still hurts her. She hasn’t forgotten you, Flynn. But I hadn’t heard her say your name for a long time, not until she was talking to Meghan last year about old times. We were at The Road Block—”
“The Road Block?” I cocked my head.
“Yeah, remember Mason Wallace? He graduated with Iona and Sam, left town to work in the music business?”
When I nodded, Alex went on. “He did well, made a lot of money repping acts in Nashville. I guess he worked for an agency and then started his own up. Got married, had a kid and then the wife died. So he moved back here, to have family nearby to help out, and wouldn’t you know, turns out his mom has cancer. Anyway, he bought some land off Highway 44 and opened a bar. It’s got a big dance floor, and he uses his old connections to bring in some pretty good bands. Up and comers, he says.”
“And you were there with . . . ?” I wasn’t ready to say her name yet.
“With Ali and Meghan last summer. Ali’d had a few beers, and she started talking about the old days after Trent hit on Meghan.”
“Trent Wagner? He’s still around?”
Alex grinned. “You know it. Still the same old dog. Hits on anything with boobs, and still has the rep for lovin’ and leavin.’ Anyway, Ali started talking about how we’d all hang out back in high school, and she mentioned you. First time in years.”
I clenched my jaw. “Doesn’t surprise me. She didn’t waste any time starting up with Craig after I left.” I glanced at my friend. “I always knew he had the hots for her. He was just too scared of me to act on it.”
Alex quirked an eyebrow. “Or maybe he didn’t want to hit on his friend’s girlfriend. Ever think of that? Plus, come on. Everyone knew Ali only ever saw you. When the two of you were together, it was like no one else existed.” He gave me a small shove in the ribs. “Believe me, I had a front row seat to the Flynn and Ali show. If I hadn’t been gay, I probably wouldn’t have been able to take it.”
I scowled at him. “Yeah, well . . . it turned out to be more show than reality.”
“What’re you talking about?” Alex wrinkled his forehead. “You think Ali wasn’t really in love with you?”
“When it came down to going with me or staying with her brother, we saw who was more important. And the fact that she got married and popped out a kid before we’d been broken up for a year tells us all something about how she felt, doesn’t it?”
Alex stared at me, unblinking. “Flynn, man, I love you like the brother I never had, but you’re goddamn fool.”
Before I could ask him what he meant, he pushed off the sofa and stood up. “I’m sorry about your dad. And it was good to see you, even under these circumstances.” He looked at me, and I saw hurt in his eyes. “You know, when you left Burton, you didn’t just leave the town. You pretty much shook off all of us. Maybe you need to think about that before you start making judgment calls on how people reacted.”
He pivoted and stalked into the kitchen. I closed my eyes again and wished my father were alive. And that I was any place in the world other than Burton, Georgia.
WE ONLY HAD THREE customers at the stand the entire day of Brice Evans’ funeral. I sat there until about two in the afternoon, when I couldn’t stand it anymore. Bridget’s bus wouldn’t drop her off until four, but I needed to be back home for my own sanity.
I trudged back to the house through the fields, not seeing anything that I passed. Instead, my mind kept up a running film of the Evans family, what they were going through today, all the while remembering the awful day we’d officially said good-bye to my own parents. I’d been just about to turn fifteen, at the end of my freshman year. Flynn and I’d been dating, official girlfriend/boyfriend, for about six months.
Our relationship had begun slowly, evolving from two people who’d discovered they liked to hang out together into a real friendship. By Thanksgiving of our freshman year, we were talking for hours on the phone every night, and no one had been surprised when Flynn asked me to be his date to the school’s annual Christmas dance. But he was careful with me; we didn’t touch beyond what was required for dancing, although I often caught him staring at my lips. When he left me at my front door that night with a chaste kiss on the cheek, I’d stomped into the house and called Alex.
“I think he’s gay.” I shimmied out of the strapless black dress I’d been sure would entice Flynn into kissing me.Reallykissing me. Maybe even . . . more.
Alex sighed on the other end of the phone. “Ali, he’s not gay. Believe me, I’d know. He’s just . . . waiting. I think he wants to make sure you’re okay with it. He told me how much he likes you. He doesn’t want to rush you into anything you’re not ready for.”
I fell onto the bed with a frustrated groan. “Oh, I’m ready. Believe me, I’m real ready. If I’m any more ready, I might just implode.”
“Whoa there, little miss hot-to-trot. Stop and think. Trust me when I say holding back isn’t easy for our boy, either. And I doubt he’s going to be able to do it much longer. But you should be flattered, because he really likes you. That’s why he’s waiting.”
So I’d swallowed my tenuously-banked passion and smiled at Flynn at school, sat on my hands when we were studying together in my living room, and gritted my teeth when we went to the movies and sat side-by-side without touching.
The day before Christmas break began, Flynn asked me to walk home with him after school, so he could give me my Christmas present. He promised his mom would drive me out to the farm afterward, and once I’d cleared it with Sam, I slung my backpack over my shoulder and met Flynn at his locker.
