My mother pressed her lips together. “Oh. Okay. I guess . . . I didn’t realize you had to leave so soon. I was hoping . . .” She let her voice trailed off, and then she shook her head. “No, it’s fine.” She forced a smile. “Make sure you give me any of your clothes you need washed. I don’t want you going across the country with dirty laundry.”
“Mom, listen.” I grabbed her wrist. “I’ve just got to do this one job, and then I’ll come back. I know we have a lot of stuff to work out, and I’m not going to dump it on you and the girls. I’ll be back. But I can’t miss this shoot. It’s been in the works for months, and it’s a huge deal.”
“I understand, honey.” She patted my cheek. “You have to do what you have to do. You know your father always said that we had to respect your schedule and understand that you’re just not like the rest of us.”
I bristled, clenching my jaw. “What’s that supposed to mean? Not like the rest of you? I’m the thing that doesn’t fit in?”
“No, sweetie, of course not. I just mean, you have other priorities. We understand that.” She turned to leave, and as I listened to her footsteps going downstairs, I dropped back onto my bed with a long, exasperated sigh. My mother had a way of making feel like I was ten years old again, on the verge of making a decision that would disappoint her, even as she assured me that she’d keep loving me no matter what. It was a gift.
“Hey.” Maureen leaned against the door frame, taking Mom’s place. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Just trying to figure out what Mom wants, what she needs from me, and how to make it all work.” I threw my arm over my eyes. “I think she wants me to be here longer, but she won’t say it. She just talks in circles until I can’t figure out if I’m doing what she wants or letting her down. Again.”
Reenie snorted. “The woman has mad talent when it comes to guilt trips and making you wonder which idea is yours and which is hers. So what’s the situation this time?”
“I told Mom I need to fly to LA tomorrow. I have this shoot—”
“Yeah, yeah, we all know about the shoot. Presidential candidate, yada, yada. So what’s the big deal? Go, do your thing.”
I knew she was trying to make me feel better, but it still stung. “You don’t want me to stay?”
She threw up her hands. “God, Flynn. There’s no winning with you, is there? If we want you to stay, we’re being needy and smothering you. If we say you can go, we don’t need you. Figure out your shit, dude. You’re worse than a thirteen year-old girl.”
I flipped her off, lifting my arm without moving the rest of my body from the bed. “You have no idea, Reen. You don’t know what it’s like to be the one who moves away. I feel like if I don’t get out of here, I’m going to explode. But at the same time, I feel like if I leave, I’m abandoning all of you. And when I realize y’all don’t need me, it feels . . . like I’m not part of the family anymore. Like you all moved on without me, and I’m just the stranger who breezes in and out.”
Maureen came into the room and sank onto the bed next to me. “Okay, first of all. . wow. I’m starting to think Iona and I ruined you when we used to dress you up like a pretty, pretty princess when you were little. Because do you know how many times you just the wordfeel?Like, seven.”
I bared my teeth at her. “Bite me.”
“Yeah, well, no thanks. Anyway, just a little reminder that you, brother dear, are the one who made the decision to move away. You couldn’t wait to shake us loose. We all love you, but there’re still consequences. You’re part of us. You always will be. But when you don’t live here every day, you’re not part of our lives in the same way. That’s just how it works. And you have to understand that having you here has been huge for Mom. But she’s afraid to lean on you too much, because she knows you won’t be around for the long haul.”
Stung, I sat up. “That’s bullshit. I’ve always been here for Mom. I’m only a phone call away. She knows she can count on me.”
Maureen lifted her shoulders. “Sometimes a phone call is too far away. She—” Her ass buzzed, and she swore under her breath. “Shit, what now?” Leaning forward, she pulled the phone out of her back pocket and frowned at the screen. She swiped one finger over the bottom and leaned back on her elbow. “Hey, Meghan. What’s up?”
I could only hear the low sound of the voice on the other end of the phone. My sister’s expression changed from curiosity to puzzlement before she finally said, “Sure, that’s fine. About twenty minutes? We can do that. No problem. See you then. Bye.” She ended the call and tossed down her cell.
I raised one eyebrow. “What was that all about?”
Maureen shook her head. “I’m not really sure. Meghan—she’s Sam Reynolds’ girlfriend, you met her yesterday—asked if she could stop by to see me before she heads back to Savannah. Which is not so weird, but she asked if you were around.” She fastened me with a suspicious look. “What did you do?”
“Nothing. I didn’t even talk to her at the church beyond the basics. Who is she, anyway? I don’t remember her from high school.”
“You wouldn’t. She’s not from Burton.”
I clapped my hand to my heart and feigned an attack. “What? Sam’s dating someone who isn’t a fromer? How the hell did that happen? I didn’t think the guy could leave the boundaries of town without combusting.”
“Stop.” Reenie swatted my head. “Meghan came to Burton last summer to teach art to the elementary kids. She’s in art school in Savannah, and she was part of this volunteer program. Sam and Ali put her up while she was here, and I guess one thing led to another . . .” Her voice trailed off.
“Hmm.” I grunted as I sat up. “She’s a little young for old Sam, isn’t she?”
My sister kicked at my legs. “Watch it, bub. Remember Sam and Iona are only a year older than me.”
“I know.” I nodded, putting on an expression of regret, my mouth pressed into a faux grimace. “Do you still have all your own teeth, by the way? And is that arthritis cream I smell?” I sniffed the air.
“You’re such a brat. What time do you leave tomorrow?” She scooted to the edge of the bed. “And how fast can I get you gone?”
“Thanks, sis. Feeling the love.” I picked up my hooded sweatshirt and pulled it over my head before I stood up.
