The wrinkles between her eyes smoothed out. “Can I call you Daddy?”
Another piece of my heart broke off and flew into this kid’s hands. “Nothing would make me happier.” I ventured out a hand to touch her curls. “I don’t have any practice in being a daddy, but if you have a little patience with me, I think we can make it work.”
There was that grin again. I couldn’t help smiling back when I saw it. “I’ve never had a daddy, but I always wanted one.” She fiddled with the lace of her sneaker. “Mom said I have a grandma now, too. And Graham is my cousin.” She twisted her face. “He’s a crazy boy. My teacher says he’s wild.”
I laughed. “Yeah, he is. I think it’s possible that kid’s a little spoiled. Maybe you can help straighten him out.”
She brightened. “Can I beat him up? Mom never lets me hit anyone.”
“Ahhh . . .”Okay, I see how this game is going to play.“Remember how I said I didn’t know much about being a dad? Well, I’m pretty sure your mom knows best about this kind of stuff, so let’s just say for the time being, if she gives you a rule, same goes for me. Got it?”
She sighed and nodded. “I was afraid of that. But it’s okay.” She pursed her lips, like she was thinking hard, and then glanced up at me. “Do I get to see my grandma?”
“Oh, yeah, that’s a given.” I tapped her nose. “Your grandma is just itching to see you. If it’s okay with your mom, maybe you can come visit sometime this weekend.”
“Really?” Her small face shone, and I thought I’d do just about anything to keep that joy alive in this kid. Forever. “What about a grandpa? Do I have one of those, too?”
I closed my eyes. Here was the bitter that came along with the sweet. “You do, honey, but . . .”Shit, what did she know about death?How was I supposed to explain it to her? The last thing I wanted to do was to screw up her little psyche. I decided honesty was best. “Your grandpa went to heaven. Just last week. And I got to tell you, it makes me really sad, because he would’ve loved you to pieces. He was the coolest grandpa ever.” I swallowed over the lump in my throat. “You would’ve loved him, too. You have his smile.”
“I do?” Her mouth curved, proving again what I’d just told her.
“Yeah, you do. It makes me really happy, because I thought I’d lost that smile forever. And now, I get to see it on you.” I remembered something Meghan had said earlier, at my mom’s house. “I hear you’re quite the artist. So was your grandpa.”
Bridget jumped up from the swing. “He was? Did he draw? I can draw and paint. Aunt Meghan is my art teacher, and sometimes we go out in the woods or over to Farmer Fred’s and I draw his horses.”
I couldn’t resist anymore. I reached across and drew her closer to me, boosting her onto my lap, sensitive to the slightest resistance so that I could let her go if I were jumping the fence. But she snuggled right onto me, taking one of my hands in both of hers.Oh, I was so wrapped around this kid already. Gone. Sunk.
“Grandpa Brice used to draw funny pictures for me when I was a little boy.” I hadn’t thought about that for years. “But most of his art was in bricks and stone. See, he was born in a country called Ireland—”
“I know where that is. It’s part of the British Isles, across the Atlantic. It’s very green, and leprechauns comes from there.”
Yeah, my kid was a total genius.“Wow, you’re smart. I’m not sure I knew where Ireland was when I was eight, and my family came from there. Anyway, when he lived in Ireland, Grandpa trained to be a mason. He built beautiful walls for people, or paths for their gardens, or he made them fireplaces. When he came to America, he kept doing that, but he also went to college. He learned how to be a teacher, and he taught history at the high school, right here in Burton.”
“Aunt Meghan’s a teacher. Or she’s gonna be one, after she graduates.” Bridget nodded. “But she’s teaches art.” She twisted to look up into my face. “Do you want to see my drawings? Uncle Sam got me a portfolio for Christmas, and all of them are in there. It’s up in my room.”
“Of course I do.” I let her pull me to my feet and back into the house. Ali was sitting on the sofa, on the other side of the window, her face wet with tears that she was trying to wipe away.
I came to a halt, staring at her. Emotion swirled inside of me, and for the first time today, I looked at this woman not as my old girlfriend, not as the person who’d betrayed me on some level, but as the mother of my child. The woman who’d raised this magical little girl who was already deep into my heart and soul.
I stopped Bridget and stooped down again. “Honey, why don’t you run up to your room and get your drawings? I’ll wait right here. I just want to talk to your mom for a minute.”
She nodded and was gone in a flash, tearing up the steps like a bright little comet. I turned to go into the living room, sitting down next to Ali, just close enough that I could smell her hair.God, it smelled the same as it did when we were in high school.Lilacs and jasmine. I had to steel myself not to reach out and wrap one silky strand around my finger.
“Hey.” As opening lines went, it wasn’t inspired. “So . . . I just wanted to say . . . she’s a great kid. I mean, I know I just met her, but she was easy to talk to, and she’s smart and funny.”
Ali lifted her eyes to mine. “She’s amazing. Every day, she does something or says something that makes me think . . . wow, how did someone like her come from me?” She smiled a little. “I mean, from us.”
I nodded. “Yeah. But I get that it’s you. You’re the one who’s been putting in the time with her. You made her who she is. So, thanks.”
She shrugged, but I saw her face pink a little. “I heard what you said to her. Sorry, I was totally eavesdropping. I’d apologize for that, but Bridget’s my daughter, and I needed to make sure she was okay. Getting a father all of a sudden—I wanted to know she was handling it.”
An hour ago, I might’ve been offended and pissed. But now that I knew my daughter, I completely understood. I would’ve done the same thing in her position. Protecting her was our number one priority.Ours.
“So I wanted to say . . . thank you. For what you said to her, when she asked you why you didn’t live with us, why she’d never met you until now. You could’ve told her the truth, and I wouldn’t blame you. But you didn’t. You let her believe it was all on your shoulders. I can’t tell you how much that means to me. I was so afraid.” She took a deep breath. “I didn’t realize how scared I was. I was terrified to tell you, but losing Bridget’s love and respect would’ve killed me.”
“I don’t want to take her away from you, Ali. I’m still not sure how I feel about what happened back then, about how you handled it, but I know we need to move forward. My mom said something to me this afternoon. She said if I get stuck resenting the past, I’ll risk ruining the present and losing the future. I don’t want to do that.”
Ali cast her eyes down, staring at her hands as they lay in her lap. “Your mother was always one of the best people I ever knew. I’ve missed her all these years.” She sniffled long, dabbing at her nose with a disintegrating tissue. “I missed them all. You know, after you left, Maureen was still okay with me. She was still my friend, at least until Craig started hanging around.”
