“Hey, you have a minute?”
I looked up from my computer screen, blinking as my concentration broke. “Sure, Bryce. What’s up?”
My boss lifted a stack of stapled white pages. “I just reviewed the deposition summary you did on the Coulson case.”
“Oh?” My stomach did a small twisting somersault. “Was everything okay?”
“Frankly, it wasn’t your best work.” Bryce came into my tiny cubicle office and shut the door. “I was kind of surprised. You usually nail these things. But you missed several key points, which I discovered when I went back over it today.”
“I’m sorry.” My spine stiffened. I’d always hated being corrected or getting anything wrong, from the time I’d started school as a kid. It was part of what drove me toward perfection. “If you’d like me to go over it again—”
“No, that’s not necessary. I just wanted to check in with you and make sure we’re not overwhelming you with work.” He sat on the edge of my desk and studied me, concern evident. “I have a vague memory of what the last semester of law school is like. I know there’s a lot of pressure on you. If you need to take some time off, or to cut back on your hours, please let me know.”
Now I was even more mortified. “No, absolutely not. I’m really sorry, Bryce. I hate that I didn’t meet your expectations. I won’t let you down again.”
“Amanda.” He held up one hand. “Please. That’s not it at all. This isn’t about me censuring you or threatening your job. We like you. We appreciate your work, which has always been exemplary. We expect wonderful things out of you in the future, and we hope that once you’ve passed the bar, we can offer you an associate position. That being said, I also don’t want to overburden you now.” He grinned and winked at me. “We’ll wait to do that when you’ve signed a long-term employment contract with us, and we own your life.”
I tried to return his smile. “I appreciate your vote of confidence, and I promise, if I feel like I can’t handle something, I’ll let you know. But for now, I think I’m okay.”
“All right, then.” Bryce stood up. “As I said, everyone likes you, and you have a reputation for your single-minded focus. One of the senior partners said the other day that you remind him of himself when he was starting out.”
A little of my tension eased. “Really? That’s very flattering.”
“Maybe.” Bryce’s expression sobered slightly. “I’m sure he saw it as a compliment, but considering this guy’s been through three marriages that ended in divorce and has five kids who don’t speak to him, largely because of that single-minded focus, I’m not sure he’s necessarily the example you want to emulate. Law is a wonderful career, Amanda, but keep in mind that she’s also a demanding mistress, if you let her take control. It’s important to cultivate an outside life and to respect the needs of those in your life.”
I forced a laugh. “An outside life? I’m not sure I remember what that is.” An image of Vincent, feeding me babas dripping with glaze, flashed across my mind’s eye, and I banished it immediately.
“That’s my point. It’s only going to get harder from here on out to find that balance. So learn it now.” Bryce opened the door. “I’ll let you get back to work.”
After my boss had walked away, my shoulders sagged. That deposition summary ... I’d worked on it the Sunday night I’d gotten home from my weekend with Vincent at the inn. I’d been happily satiated, relaxed and reluctant to work, but since I knew I was already a little behind on getting it done, I’d rushed through it. Apparently, it showed.
Bryce had just pointed out what I’d already been trying to push to the back of my mind, and that was the fact that what I’d feared was coming to pass. I was losing my drive. I was letting stuff like sex and food and pleasure come before work and school, and I’d never done that before. I’d never even been tempted. No one had been important or compelling enough to tempt me. Until Vincent DiMartino had suggested that maybe we could do this, whatever it was we were doing.
Vincent was a huge complication in my life. There wasn’t any doubt about that. Even living ninety minutes away, his presence intruded on my concentration all the time, mostly because if I wasn’t remembering our time together, I was dreaming about the next chance we’d have to be with each other. He was a force of nature, and I was helpless in his wake. I couldn’t say no to him ... even when I knew I should.
That was fucking terrifying to me.
The rest of the afternoon passed quickly, mostly because I had a stern talk with myself and made sure I only thought about work. I checked and double-checked everything I did. I went back over a couple of the case files I’d handled recently, just to make sure nothing else was going to come back to bite me in the ass. The last thing I needed was to earn a reputation as an incompetent slacker.
By the time I reached my apartment, I’d come to the grim conclusion that I needed to have a conversation with Vincent. I had to back away. Cool things down. I was going to tell him that we needed to take things between us down a notch, because I couldn’t handle failing. It was all well and good for Vincent, who had a guaranteed job at his family’s restaurant, but I still had a few more months of school to survive and a bar exam to pass, not to mention a position at the firm to keep in the meantime.
I’d just settled down on my sofa, with my phone in my hand, preparing to call Vincent and explain all of this to him, when there was a knock at my door. Frowning, I jumped up to answer it, wondering who the nighttime doorman had allowed upstairs without asking me. My list of approved guests was short and selective, and it only included my parents and a few close friends.
“Surprise!” Giff stood in the hallway, beaming at me when I swung open the door. “You might not recognize me, but I’m your best friend. The one you’ve been blowing off lately, apparently so you can do wild and kinky stuff with your other best friend’s brother-in-law.”
A myriad of emotion ran through me. Surprise at Giff’s appearance, guilt about making him feel ignored and embarrassment that he seemed to know quite a bit about Vincent and me. I wasn’t sure which one to acknowledge first, so I went with my gut and dragged him inside.
“I haven’t blown you off, buddy.” I wrapped him in a tight hug, sniffing appreciatively. Giff always smelled so damn good. “You’re the one who’s been off blissing on cloud nine since you got engaged. I’ve been right here, where I always am.”
“You might be onto something there, but it’s much more fun to see your face go three colors of red when I call you out.” Giff winked.
“You’re a jerk, you know that?” I led him into my living room. “What’re you doing here, anyway?”
“Can’t a guy come visit his friend without a reason?” He tilted his head.
“Probably, but you’ve got something behind your back there that tells me there’s a method to your madness. ‘Fess up, Giff. What’s going on?”
“All right.” He swung around the white plastic bag and held it out to me. “Jeff and I both took today off and played hooky down the shore. Part of the fun was an early dinner at Cucina Felice, at the invitation of the DiMartino family, who wanted to thank me again for the wedding. While I was there enjoying the ravioli, a certain hunk of hotness came out of the kitchen, handed me this bag and asked me to deliver it to a special lady friend in the city. So I have no idea what it is. I’m just the messenger boy.”
