It wasn’t easy. First of all, he texted me all the time. He didn’t complain when I didn’t answer, but he kept on texting—just a sentence here and there, telling me that he’d talked to his parents, that he couldn’t wait to see me when I was ready ... and that he loved me. He always closed with those words.
I love you, Amanda.
It was a hell of a good way to end. How could I argue with that?
But I was angry. He’d hurt me, both by not telling me about the interview he’d had and by the way he’d spoken to me when we fought. His words ... they had hurt, too, but even as he’d spit them out, I’d known that he hadn’t meant what he was saying. He’d been upset by the fight with his parents, and so he’d lashed out at the person closest to him—which happened to be me.
I didn’t like it, but I understood. Still, I didn’t answer his texts, not so much because I wanted to punish him, but because I knew if I did, he’d want to come see me, and I had to get through these last days of exams.
If his persistence wasn’t bad enough, Ava and Liam were pestering me, too. Liam had called on Sunday night to check on me, and I’d answered, just to assure him that I’d made it back home safely and wasn’t drinking myself to oblivion.
“I know the DiMartinos can be a lot to take in at first.” Liam sighed. “They’re the opposite of how you and I were raised. They’re loud, they say whatever they want, and they’re not afraid to express feelings.”
“That’s for sure,” I laughed a little. “I never felt like I was a repressed person, but maybe I am. I don’t let it all hang out like they do.”
“Their way isn’t better, necessarily. It’s just different. But I’ll tell you one thing. When they accept you as one of them, you’re part of the family. Ava’s parents, her siblings—they’re mine now, too. I love them, and they act like they love me. So just keep that in mind, okay? You and Vince are great together. I’d hate to see you lose each other over a misunderstanding like that.”
I knew Liam was right, but I didn’t have the mental energy to unpack that just yet. “I’ll think about it after finals. I promise.”
He chuckled. “Understood. Good luck, Amanda. You don’t need it, but—good luck anyway.”
My last exam ended at four on Thursday afternoon. As I walked into my apartment building afterward, I felt as though I was slogging through water. Exhaustion was about to take me under, and I only wanted my bed. For about forty-eight hours, at least.
“All done, Ms. Simmons?” Rocky greeted me as I dragged myself toward the elevator. “That’s got to be a great feeling. Congratulations!”
I managed a smile. “Thanks, Rocky. Right now, the only way I feel is numb. I can’t believe it’s finally over. Law school, I mean.”
He winked at me. “You’ve been working hard, and I bet you’re worn out. I think once you go upstairs, you’ll feel much better.”
“Yeah, probably.” I paused, frowning at him. “What’s up with you today, Rocky? You look ... I don’t know. Like you’re about to burst.”
He shook his head, his grin stretching even further across his face. “Nah. Just happy to be alive, I guess. It’s a beautiful spring day, am I right? We should all be happy.”
“Um, sure. I guess.” I hit the elevator button. “See you later, Rocky.”
The elevator hummed as it carried me up to my level. Hitching my bag over my shoulder, I trudged to my door and dug into my pocket for my keys.
A strange and yet enticing aroma wafted through the corridor. It was an alluring mix of sugar and lemon, and my mouth began to water. I wondered which of my neighbors was baking, and if whoever it was might considering sharing whatever it was they’d made with an exhausted law school almost-graduate.
The minute I unlocked my door and stepped into my apartment, though, anything else I’d been thinking flew out of my head. The light was on in the kitchen, which was unusual, and the drapes that covered the windows on the far side of the living room had been pulled open. I knew for a fact that I’d left them drawn that morning, because I’d thought about how much Vincent loved the view, and I’d remembered the way he’d stood there the first night we’d been together.
Someone was in my apartment. I didn’t know who or how—the security in my building was insanely good—but someone was in here. A shiver ran up my spine.
“Don’t freak out.”
I whirled to my left, my heart racing and my fingers gripping my keys a little tighter, as though I could use them to defend myself.
Vincent stood in the doorway to the kitchen, a tea towel over his shoulder, leaning on the arched wall. His eyes were on me, watchful and cautious. For a moment, I drank him in: from the long legs encased in snug, faded denim, to the light blue T-shirt that hugged his biceps and torso, to the sensuous lips that parted slightly under my gaze. A blast of longing shot through me before I remembered that I was still mad at him.
“Does that ever work for you?” I dropped my bag on the bench just inside my front door. “The wholedon’t freak outthing? When you break into other people’s apartments?” I kicked off my shoes and padded over to stand by the sofa, giving myself a little bit of distance as my heart slowed to a more reasonable rate.
“I didn’t break in.” He smirked at me, cocking one eyebrow. “My girlfriend gave me a key.”
“Oh, yourgirlfriend, huh?” I crossed my arms over my chest. “I thought you never wanted a fucking girlfriend.” Those words still stung. Even though I’d known when he said them that he was upset about the fight with his parents and lashing out at me, deep down, I’d worried that what he’d said contained some kernel of truth.
He sighed. “Babe, I’m sorry. I’m really and truly, a hundred percent, down-on-my-knees begging-for-your-forgiveness sorry. I was spouting off on Sunday, and I said lots of things I didn’t mean to lots of people. But what I said to you is what I most regret.”
“You really hurt me.” I spoke quietly. I’d had time to think over these past days, and I’d considered Vincent and me—what was between us—from every possible angle. “I didn’t like that. At first, I was mad at myself for giving you the power to do that. Whether you know it or not, Vincent, you have the ability to break my heart. I’ve never let anyone else so close to me. I’ve never taken that chance. And then I realized making myself vulnerable and trusting the other person—that’s a key element in a real relationship. It’s scary as shit. I don’t want to do it.” I swallowed. “But you make me want to believe it can work, even if we hit some bumps.”
