I crossed my arms over my chest and returned his icy stare. “Youare being ridiculous and over-protective. I have never cancelled or backed out of a commitment as a member of the Royal Family, and I’m sure as hell not going to start today. Not when it’s so important to show whoever perpetuated this senseless act that we’re not going to be cowed by what they’ve done.”
“Bullshit. This is a community garden, not some lunch counter during your country’s civil rights movement or Tiananmen Square or the Temple Mound in Jerusalem. It’s not a milestone for freedom or rights. Put everything in perspective. You don’t need to make this stand, Ky. It’s not a hill you need to die on.”
I scrambled out of our bed, not caring one whit that I was still naked. “Thanks for letting me know how you really feel about the importance of my work. Nice to hear that you look at it as just something to keep me busy—a good enough cause for a lesser member of the Royal Family who doesn’t matter anyway. And believe me, I don’t plan to die on a hill today, Nicky.”
“No one plans to die,” he thundered, standing up on his side of the bed and reaching for his boxers. “No one plans to be a victim of brutal violence. But it happens anyway. And when the work you do offends a group of people to the point that they’re willing to destroy and kill—yeah, that work is definitely important. I never said it wasn’t, and I never thought for one moment that it isn’t. I’m proud of you, dammit, and I always have been.” He took a deep breath, as though he was trying to calm himself, and then spoke more slowly, his words measured. “But proud or not, important or not, I’m not going to let you put yourself in danger for anything, not even for yourvery importantwork. Do you not understand, Ky, that you are everything to me? If something happened to you, I couldn’t live. Just the idea of you being out where some lunatic could hurt you—or worse—it drives me mad. I want to lock you in this room and never let you out.”
Nicky raked his fingers through his hair, his bare chest heaving as he bit off the last words. I was at a loss, unsure how to answer, taken aback by the ferocity of his response. I remembered then my conversation with Daisy a couple of weeks ago, when we’d talked about why Nicky seemed to be trying to keep me from traveling with him. If he truly was as wracked with worry as he seemed this morning, it all made sense.
All of the fight and indignation drained from me. Silently, I skirted the bed and went to my husband, circling him with my arms and holding on tight.
I pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “Nicky, I’m sorry,” I murmured. “I didn’t mean to make light of anything. You’re right—these things are frightening, and the idea that anyone is so against our work that he—or she—might destroy property is awful. But even though I understand what you’re saying, you have to agree that it’s pretty far-fetched to think that the same individual might make the jump from property damage to hurting a person. And I really feel strongly about being at the opening today. Maybe what I’m doing in Tottenham doesn’t make much of a difference on the world stage. We’re not ending world hunger or bringing about peace in the Middle East or finding the cure for cancer. But it’s making a difference to that community. It’s changing lives there, and it’s bringing together generations. People who work at the gardens are taking ownership of their food and of their care of the earth. They’re learning, and they’re excited. It matters. If I’m not there today, it won’t change the work, but it will disappoint people I don’t want to let down. Can you please understand that?”
That same tic I’d noticed in his cheek was back, and his breathing was still rapid. His jaw was clenched. But in his eyes, I saw a slow, reluctant acceptance dawning.
“You could come with me, if it would make you feel better,” I suggested, trying to sweeten the pot. “That way, you could keep your eye on me. And everyone would be so excited to have Prince Nicholas at the opening.”
His mouth relaxed slightly, and he swept one hand down over my hair, smoothing the unruly locks away from my face. “I could probably make that happen. I don’t have anything until two this afternoon, except a conference call with No Hungry Child—but that could be pushed back.” Exhaling a long breath, he bent his head to touch his forehead to mine. “Ky, I know you think I’m being insane about this. I know you don’t understand. But sometimes, even when I can’t give you all the details or information, I need you to trust me. I need you to—not to obey without questioning, I’d never expect that of anyone, let alone my wife, but I’d like you to give me the benefit of the doubt. I want you to realize that if I feel strongly about something, there could be a reason beyond what I’m saying in the moment. And I hope that because you love me, you could respect that and do what I’m asking.”
I considered. “I understand, I think, and I could do that. But not today, right? For today, you agree that I should go, and that you could go with me?”
He closed his eyes, his shoulders sagging. “Yes. For today, as long as the Palace is in agreement that it’s safe for you to be there, we’ll go. I’ll just call and make sure that me going along won’t cause any problem.”
I hugged him tight, relief and gratitude coursing through me. “Thank you, Nicky. I promise that I will try my best to be open to hearing what you’re saying to me—and if you tell me that I need to trust without asking questions, I will. Or at least I’ll try.” I knew myself well enough not to make a blood oath on this one. “I love you.”
“I know.” He sounded resigned. “If I didn’t love you so much, this wouldn’t matter. But I do, and it does.” Kissing the top of my head, he swatted my backside. “Let’s go get ready. I expect my very important wife to look especially hot as she’s doing her very important work.”
“I hope you’re not patronizing me.” I narrowed my eyes.
“Not one bit,” he assured me. “I would never do that. I do think the gardens are incredibly necessary and wonderful. I think I’ve made that abundantly clear on multiple occasions.”
“You have,” I concurred. “And I appreciate it. I’ll tell you what ... I’ll put extra effort into looking sexy today, so that if you start to get anxious while we’re there, you can just glance at me and picture me naked, straddling you. It’ll take your mind right off your worry.”
Nicky groaned. “If I do that, I’ll have a problem of an entirely different nature.”
I grinned wickedly. “But that’s one I can take care of for you. With pleasure.”
He shook his head. “You’re evil, woman.”
Laughing, I ducked out of his arms and headed for the closet. “I do try, Nicky. I do try.”
“Have I ever mentioned the I-told-you-so dance?”
From his spot next to me on the back seat of the black sedan, Nicky glanced at me sideways, his lips twitching. “I’m fairly certain I’d remember you telling me something about that. Do illuminate me, darling. What exactly is the I-told-you-so dance?”
I turned to face him, bending my leg and tucking it under me as the car glided along the streets of London. “When Bria, Lisel and I were little, my parents had rules about how we treated each other. You know—we weren’t allowed to use the word hate in reference to people, we weren’t supposed to tattle on each other, we were meant to be kind, supportive and nurturing sisters ... and we were never supposed to say I told you so if one of us was right and the other wrong.” I snickered. “They were trying to teach us grace both in being right and in being mistaken.”
“Sounds like a good idea,” Nicky remarked cautiously.
“Oh, it was. Mama and Daddy are awesome parents, and they really wanted us to grow up to be decent people. But three little girls didn’t always see things that way. So we figured out work-arounds—like, we would say, ‘I dislike you extremely!’ instead of using the wordhate. And when I was about eight, Lisel and I had a huge argument about a television show we’d been watching. When I turned out to be on the correct side of the fight, I wanted to rub it in her face, but I knew I’d get in trouble, so I developed the I-told-you-so dance. It let me express my feelings without taking a hit for it. I found it so satisfying that I adopted it for all such situations ... but then it backfired on me, because Bria and Lisel started using it, too.”
“Uh huh.” Nicky leaned back and folded his arms over his chest. “Care to demonstrate?”
“I thought you’d never ask.” I smiled sweetly, and then I lifted up my arms over my head, pistoned them up and down, wiggled my hips and shimmied my shoulders. The dance finished off with me sticking out my tongue for extra effect.
On the other side of the backseat, Nicky was cracking up. “That’s classic, Ky.” With a small cough, he quirked an eyebrow at me. “I assume you have a reason for bringing this up just now.”
“Well, I feel it would be unkind and less than gracious if I were to sayI told you soabout the ceremony today, so I just need to say ...” With an expression of triumph, I launched into the dance again, not stopping until my husband was roaring with laughter.
