Finally, Simon exhaled a long breath.
“Yes, ma’am.” He sketched a bow in our general direction before he turned to leave. Hester’s jaw was clenched as she followed him. As they paused at the door to confer, Daisy took my hand.
“Kyra, he’s going to be all right.” Her fingers tightened around mine. “This brother of mine is stubborn and headstrong, which means no bomb is going to slow him down. He is young, he is disgustingly healthy, and what’s most important, he loves you so completely that he’d never let go of life if it meant losing you. So you keep all of that in mind ... and trust. Have faith. Nicky is going to be fine.”
IHATED HOSPITALS.
It didn’t matter whether they were American or British hospitals, as I was discovering now, ping-ponging between my spot next to Nicky’s bed and the nearby private waiting room, where I was sent during the all-too-frequent examinations. The doctors were very polite; in fact, each time they kicked me out of Nicky’s room, they phrased it as a question, as if I had a choice.
“Ma’am, wouldn’t you like to take a little walk while we examine His Royal Highness?”
“Your Royal Highness, would you care to step down the hall for just a moment?”
I wondered idly what they would do if I answered in the negative. No, I wouldn’t like a walk. No, I didn’t care to step down the hall. I wanted to stay where I was, at my husband’s bedside, holding his hand and staring at his still, white face, praying for any sign of movement or change.
But since I knew that the physicians were doing their best to help Nicky recover, of course I acquiesced every single time. In fact, the only person to whom I said no over those hellish days was the Queen herself.
Nicky’s parents had tactfully suggested that I go home to the cottage for a nap the morning after Daisy and I had arrived at the hospital. I had ignored that suggestion. Alex and Jake had offered to sit with Nicky while I slept in another room nearby. I thanked them kindly and changed the subject.
Her Majesty, however, was not so subtle. She came to see Nicky early in the morning on the second full day in the hospital, at the first opportunity the Royal Family’s security force had allowed. After she’d stood at the foot of her grandson’s bed, staring silently at his unmoving form, she’d turned to me, piercing me with that bright blue gaze.
“Kyra, dear, you look dreadful. Go home and rest. Have some sleep and maybe a nice bath, and then you can come back and be rested for when Nicky awakens.”
I drew in a deep breath. “Thank you, ma’am, but I would prefer to stay here with Nicky. I don’t want to leave him.” Threading my fingers through my husband’s, I gave his hand a slight squeeze. “But I appreciate your concern.”
For a moment, Her Majesty didn’t respond. She simply stood and regarded me thoughtfully.
I cleared my throat. “If it was me lying in this bed, unconscious, with my prognosis unclear, do you think Nicky would leave my side for even a second, ma’am? Do you think anyone would be able to convince him to do so?”
A reluctant smile played at the corners of the Queen’s lips. “My grandson is quite stubborn, and he is definitely smitten with you. I don’t think I’d care to take on the task of forcing him to leave your sickbed.” She let out a long, sad sigh. “And to be honest, if I had been in your shoes, my answer would’ve been the same.”
I nodded. “I thought that, too, ma’am.”
The Queen came around the bed to stand next to me, resting one hand lightly on my shoulder. “I had to try, though, you know. Alexandra and Daisy are both worried about you, as are my son and daughter-in-law. They think you’re going to end up in a hospital bed, too, if you don’t take care.”
“I’m getting sleep, I promise. Right here.” I patted the small space on the bed between where Nicky’s arm lay and the edge of the mattress. “I rest better here than I ever would back at Kensington, worrying the whole time that Nicky might wake up and not see me here, or that something might get—” With a snap of my mouth, I fell silent. I didn’t dare utter the words. I only allowed myself positive thoughts. It was how I was clinging to my sanity.
“And I’m sure you already feel somewhat betrayed because you’ve been kept in the dark all these months about the threats from this horrid eco-terrorist group.” The Queen might have been in her nineties, but she was sharp. Nothing was beyond her eye for detail.
I pressed my lips together. “I’m not allowing myself to think about that just yet, ma’am. I don’t want to work up a good mad at Nicky when he’s not awake to explain himself to me—and I only want to bring positive energy into this room. No resentment or unhappiness.”
“Good thinking.” She reached out a hand to touch Nicky’s arm. “Just so you’re aware, though ... we, all of us, encouraged Nicky to inform you once Scotland Yard had identified this cell as a legitimate threat. After all, he was off to special defense training on some weekends, and then your protection officer also is away for added training, too, isn’t he?”
My nod was slow as I thought of Harold. I wondered if he knew what had happened to Nicky. The truth about what had been going on in the past months—since right after our honeymoon—had slowly trickled down to me in bits and pieces since Saturday night. I had learned that like me, Daisy knew nothing. Alex was similarly in the dark, though she’d surmised some of the situation from overheard conversations and simple hunches.
It was the betrayal of my husband and of both Harold and Simon that stung, although I’d been honest when I’d told Her Majesty that I wasn’t allowing myself to think of this just now. I couldn’t afford the expenditure of emotional energy.
“Nicky was adamant, though,” the Queen went on. “He said that you deserved your first year of marriage, your first year in this family, to be as stress-free and happy as possible. He was trying to protect you in more ways than one, although I imagine that’s cold comfort, all things considered.”
“It is, ma’am, but ...” My sleep-deprived brain struggled to put my thoughts into some kind of order. “But I understand what he meant. I don’t agree with what he did, and in fact, I knew he was keeping something from me, which caused more friction between us than it otherwise might, had I realized the truth. But I know his motivation was good. His heart was in the right place, as my grandmother used to say.”
The Queen’s eyes twinkled at me. “But once he’s awake and well on the road to recovery, that won’t stop you from letting him know exactly how you feel about being deceived all this time, will it?”
I snorted. “No, ma’am, it won’t. Once I know he’s really and truly safe and on his way to being well, we’re going to have some serious words.”
“Good for you.” She sounded pleased, and that gave me a small spark of hope. If the Queen was optimistic, then perhaps I could drum up some happy thoughts, too. Maybe Nicky truly was going to wake up, and maybe he’d be completely whole again eventually.
I watched Her Majesty as she gazed at her grandson, and with a twinge of conscience, I rose to my feet. “Ma’am, if you’d like a moment with Nicky, I can step out.”
