Deacon
“What do you think he’s going to do?”
It was early in the morning, and outside Emma’s cabin, I could hear the sounds of the world waking up. The sun was rising, and birds were chirping. In the far-off distance, I heard a rooster crowing at a neighboring farm.
Inside the cabin, though, it was quiet and peaceful. I lay in Emma’s bed, my arms wrapped around her as my chest pressed into her back.
“Who?” I asked, although I had a good idea about what she was asking.
“Ted.” Emma rolled in my arms to face me. Her hair tangled and fell into her eyes, giving me the perfect excuse to brush it away and wrap one silky strand around my finger.
“Mmm. I don’t know.” I stretched, dropping onto my back and easing her head onto my chest. “But I did what I did very intentionally. I followed the advice of a very wise naturopath who often tells me that giving patients a choice, even if it’s between two things they don’t really want, offers a sense of autonomy. Makes them feel like partners in their treatment.”
“Wow, this naturopath sounds like someone you should listen to all the time.” I heard the banked laughter in her voice. “She’s so smart, she’s probably always right.”
“Eh.” I lifted up one hand and waggled it. “I’d say fifty-fifty.”
“Oh, you would, would you?” She poked at my ribs until she found the ticklish spot. “Watch it, buddy, or your chances for morning sex are going to drop to fifty-fifty.”
“Damn, I didn’t even realize morning sex was on the menu. I would’ve chosen my words more carefully.”
Emma giggled, the movement causing her tits to rub against my chest in a way I did not hate. Not at all.
“I bet you would have. But since you didn’t, I might have to take it off the menu.” She turned her head to rest her cheek against my pecs as she gazed into my face. “Seriously, though. I’m very flattered that you used my methods with Ted, but I’m also a little worried. When we give patients a kind of choice, the options should be something we can live with—both parties. The patients and the doctors.”
I nodded. “I know that. I also have no grandiose illusions about Ted. Whatever happens, happens. I’m not going to fall apart if I go in today and he refuses the treatment. And even if he decides to go ahead with it, I’m not investing myself in believing that he’ll stick around for the whole thing. I wouldn’t be surprised if he dropped out the first time he gets sick from chemo.”
“I can offer some help there, do whatever we can to make the process easier on him.”
I crunched up to kiss her briefly. “I know. And I appreciate that. But we’re both aware that nothing in our joint arsenal can prevent all the discomfort associated with chemo and radiation. It just can’t. I’m trying to be realistic.”
“I understand. I’ve actually come to see your realism in a more positive light recently.” She grinned. “I’m not saying I’m going to give up my optimism, but I won’t ask you to embrace it fully, either. Not yet, anyway.”
“We’re a good balance,” I decided. “I temper your unicorns and rainbows with . . .” I cast up my eyes, thinking. “Ah, dragons and thunderclouds?”
“Noooo.” Emma shook her head. “Not that drastic. You’re not a pessimist, Deacon. You’re something in between.”
“What’s between dragons and unicorns?” I traced her cheekbone with my fingertip.
“Um . . . cows?” She raised one eyebrow. “Cows and cloudy days. Partially cloudy, that is.”
“And you’d end up calling it partly sunny, my sweet look-at-the-bright-side woman.” I grasped her upper arms and hauled her higher on my body, until her face was inches from mine. “It’s almost time for me to get up.”
“I know.” Emma inclined her head to drop kisses on my cheek, my chin, and the side of my mouth. “You sure you don’t mind me coming in a little later?”
“Not at all. You go pick up your parents at their bed and breakfast and enjoy some of the aforementioned breakfast with them. They’re only in town for a few days. I don’t want you to miss out on time with them.”
“Thank you. I’ll take you up on that.” She snuggled down against me, nuzzling my neck.
“When you do come in, though, you might stop in to see Elaine Dulinkski.” I tried to keep my voice casual. “She was admitted yesterday with gastro issues related to her treatment.”
“Ugh. Okay. I’ll do it, but you know she’s just going to throw me out of her room. Again.” Emma sounded glum.
“Maybe not. I saw her before I came here yesterday, and she seemed like she might be more . . . open-minded this time. I don’t know. Give it a shot, anyway. Worst thing she can do is send you packing.”
“True. I don’t want to force my ideas on anyone, but it’s a little tough on the ego when a patient won’t even listen.” She sighed. “But nothing ventured, nothing gained.”
“Do you need me to stroke your ego, babe?” I crooned. “’Cause I’m totally willing to do it. I’m just saying.”
