“Okay, so there’s the moral to the story. I rushed back to work, and it turned out I didn’t have to do it. I was wrong, and the new naturopath was actually making the wing a better place to be. There were twittering birds and rainbows and butterflies . . .”
“Oh, screw you, Deacon.” She threw a pillow at me. “You just can’t admit when you’re wrong, can you?”
“Pretty sure I just did.” I took a long gulp of the ice-cold water. I needed it to cool me off right now; this kind of verbal sparring was foreplay for Emma and me, and I had to remember that this conversation, no matter how amusing it might be, wasn’t going to lead to anything else. “And you were wrong, too. Mira isn’t your enemy. You two might have gotten off on the wrong foot, but now, I’m pretty sure she sees you as allies. I guess we can credit the year I was gone for that transformation.”
“It’s true, we get along better now,” Emma admitted. “But I never forget that you’ll always be her golden boy. She likes me as long as she feels that we’re on the same side. Also, in case you haven’t noticed, she’s long since forgiven you for your unexpected sabbatical.” She stretched her legs and propped her sock-covered feet on the coffee table. I caught myself staring again, this time at the shape of her legs as my body remembered all too well how they felt wrapped around my waist . . .
“Deacon?” Emma snapped her fingers. “Hello? Are you still with me here?”
“Yeah, sorry. I just . . . uh, I was lost in thought, I guess. What did you say?” I drained the rest of my water and set down the glass.
“I was just saying that although I know you have good intentions about telling me to stay home through the weekend, I don’t have any plans, so if something comes up, don’t hesitate. I’ll be sitting here twiddling my thumbs.” She lifted one shoulder.
“Seriously? Don’t you think you can findsomethingto keep you busy for two more days, especially seeing as you’ve been up in Virginia for two weeks?” I was thinking of Noah. It had been tough enough for me to get through Emma’s absence, and I wasn’t even dating her. I couldn’t believe that he wouldn’t be demanding some time with her. Come to think of it, wasn’t it sort of weird that he wasn’t here now—that he hadn’t picked her up at the airport? I frowned.
“Well, I probablywillspend some time on the garden,” she conceded, glancing out the window, where darkness had fallen in earnest now. “Jimmy and I have been talking about what I’m going to plant next. It’s too early to prep new plots, but I’ll probably putter around a little, do some weeding, I guess.”
Now my curiosity was really piqued. “I’d think you’d want to drive over to Tampa to see Noah.” Stating it baldly was the best way to stop myself from beating around the bush and giving Emma the chance to misunderstand me again. “You two have been apart while you were gone, right? I mean, he didn’t go up with you?”
“No.” Emma shook her head slowly. “He didn’t. This is a hard time of year for him to travel. He has training camp, and the pre-season kicks off shortly.” She twisted the hem of her shirt between her fingers. “I’m not planning to see Noah this weekend. He’s got some training intensive deal.”
Her face was a study in unhappiness, from the drawn brows to the way her lips pressed together. I thought about the chatter I’d overheard between Jenny and Darcy last week. Clearly, it wasn’t all sunshine and sparkles in paradise.
“If you were my girlfriend,” I began, but Emma cut me off quickly.
“But I’m not, am I?” She glanced away, blinking, her jaw tensed. “And this probably isn’t the kind of conversation you and I should be having.”
“Because Noah might get mad?” I was fishing now, trying to get her to say something that would give me a clue about their status. Why the hell I cared was a nuance I didn’t care to examine just now.
“Because it’s pointless.” She jumped to her feet and began stalking the length of the room. “Why does it matter to you how long it’s been since I saw Noah or if I’m going to be with him this weekend? It’s none of your damned business, Deacon.”
“Sorry.” I wasn’t, not one little bit, and it probably showed in my tone. “I was only . . .”What?Curious? Nosy? Desperate to know if they were on the verge of breaking up so that maybe I’d have another shot with the woman I couldn’t forget? “Uh, making small talk.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not much into that.” Emma sat down again, wrapping her arms around herself. She drew in a deep breath. “If you must know, Noah and I . . . we’re kind of on a break. After everything with the press . . . and there were some other tensions between us—”
“The press?” I was mystified. “What about the press?”
“You didn’t see all the stories about me? About how I’m pregnant with the baby that’s going to help Noah get over Angela’s death?”
My mouth dropped. “You’re . . . pregnant?”
“No!” she spit out the word. “Of course, I’m not. But that was the wild story going around on social media and in some of the tabloids right before I left for Virginia. It isn’t fun to have people write about you, especially when they have no fucking clue about what they’re saying.” Bitterness tinged her voice. “It’s hard enough starting out in a relationship, even when you’ve been best friends with someone. When you add on the pressure of having to sneak around or risk making the papers every time you sneeze, it’s just . . . untenable.”
I felt bad. Emma looked upset, maybe a little sad. I probably shouldn’t have pushed the issue. That didn’t stop me from speaking again. “But you said you’re on a break now? What does that mean?”
“Hell if I know.” She sounded weary. “I guess it means that I wasn’t prepared for this relationship. It means that I’m disappointing someone again, because I can’t be what he needs me to be.”
That last part hit home hard, making me wonder if Emma felt as though she’d let me down in some way. She hadn’t—what had happened between the two of us had been entirely my issue—but saying so right now would sound more than a little defensive—and it also had the potential of resembling a come-on line. Emma didn’t need that right now.
So instead of taking that road, I cleared my throat and tried a different tact. “I’m sure you didn’t disappoint Noah. It seemed to me that every time I saw you together, he couldn’t take his eyes off you.”Or his hands, either, but let’s not go there.“Is it possible that you just had a misunderstanding?”
“That’s actually really nice of you to say, Deacon.” Emma curled her legs under her body, turning to rest her cheek on the back cushion of the couch. “Like . . . uncharacteristically kind.” She sounded faintly surprised. “But no. We both knew where we stood before I left for vacation, and we’re both painfully aware that our positions are separated by a large chasm.”
“People have been known to build bridges.” Dammit, why the hell was I encouraging her not to abandon her romance with Noah? What was wrong with me? “I mean, if it was worth it. I guess only you could answer that.”
“I don’t know.” She sighed, closing her eyes. “I’ve tried not to obsess over this while I was in Virginia because I needed a real break from everything. But it was hard not to think about it. I guess what I’ve decided is that sometimes a relationship that should work, that has everything going for it on paper, can be missing some key ingredient in reality. And it’s possible that realizing that now, while it’s still early days, is the best thing I can do for both of us. Even if it’s a decision that makes some people unhappy in the short term.”
I nodded slowly. “I think I get that. In a way, that was what happened with Laurel and me.”
