“Do you even really like her?” Emma was bewildered. “I can’t imagine what you two talk about.”
She wasn’t wrong there. Deep conversation wasn’t often on our agenda. “Emma.” I stretched out my knee, grimacing at the twinge I felt. “Remember back when we broke up, and you told me that I was your safe choice?”
Emma nodded slowly. “Of course, I remember. I was right about that, too.”
I rolled my eyes. “That’s neither here nor there, but okay.” I rested my elbows on my thighs, dropping my chin in one hand. “Juliet . . . she’s safe for me because I know that I could never in a million years fall in love with her. There just isn’t anything there but the sex.” I lifted one shoulder. “She’s convenient for me. I probably never would have chosen her even for a temporary fling, but she was here all the time, and then one thing led to another and . . .” I fell silent, thinking.
“But you’re not really dating her? This thing between you is just casual?” Emma seemed very worried about this point. “You’re not planning to marry her or anything, right?”
“God, no.” I chuckled at the lunacy of what she’d just said. “I told you. Juliet is temporary. She’s just a placeholder for what I really want out of life. I don’t love her, and I don’t plan on that ever changing. She’s just—I don’t know, a distraction for the time being. Nothing more.”
“Nice to hear it from the horse’s mouth. Or maybe in this case, the jackass’s mouth.”
The trembling voice floated up from the grass next to the porch. Emma jerked around, staring down through the gaps in the porch railing. Beyond her, I could just barely see the top of a blonde head, but I knew that voice.
“Juliet.” I struggled to stand up, but my damn knee wouldn’t cooperate. “Juliet, wait.”
But she didn’t. She stepped backwards just far enough that I got a good look at her tear-stained face, at the eyes that were filled with hurt and betrayal.
“Don’t, Noah.” She held up her hand, palm facing me. “Just fucking don’t. You’ve spoken your truth. Now I’m showing you mine by getting the hell out of here. Enjoy your damn party.”
Juliet spun around and disappeared, heading to the other side of the house where we’d parked her car earlier in the day, to keep it out of the way. I pounded the arm of my chair, cursing.
“What the hell did I just do?”
“Well . . .” Emma stood up, and after a long, silent few moments, we both watched as Juliet’s sleek little sports car peeled out of the driveway. “I think you told the truth, and the one person it could hurt the most overheard.” She studied my face. “Are you sure you don’t love her, Noah?”
I grimaced. “Absolutely sure. I’m sorry she got her feeling dinged. I didn’t do it on purpose. But maybe this is for the best.” I felt terrible that she’d overheard something she wasn’t meant to—but mingled in with the regret was a big dose of relief, too. This might be exactly what I needed to end this insanity.
“Do you want me to try to go after her?” Emma’s dubious expression told me everything I needed to know about her feelings on that idea. “I mean, she’s probably halfway out of town by now, but I can get in the car and try.”
“No.” I managed a smile. “I appreciate the offer, but no. I have a feeling talking to you wouldn’t help her much. If I could move fast enough . . .” Would I? Or would I just let this happen anyway? “Let her go cool off. She’ll come back eventually, and I’ll apologize. I’ll make it right.”And then maybe we’d sit down to have a rational conversation about expectations and how ours didn’t match. At all.
“All right.” Again, Emma looked as though she wanted to say something else. She picked up her wine glass and set it down again without drinking. “Noah, have you heard from Alison Wakely since you’ve been home from the hospital?”
I thought of those unanswered texts and calls with a deep sense of guilt. “Uh, she reached out, I think. But no. We haven’t talked, and I haven’t time to answer her texts.”
“In the same way you couldn’t find time to answer mine?” she inquired sweetly. “I doubt that. Because I’m going to come clean with you, Noah. I know what happened between you and Alison. At my wedding, I mean. Or rather, afterward.”
It was my turn to be surprised. “Really? She told you?”
Emma nodded. “When you didn’t call her after your surgery, she was pretty frantic. She got in touch with me, and I told her about the complications in your surgery.”
“Huh. So when did she tell you about us being together? While I was unconscious in the ICU? Or . . . after?” I remembered now that the last time I’d seen Emma, during her visit at the hospital, I’d asked about Alison and worried that I’d raised my friend’s suspicions. So she hadn’t known about us that day, or she’d have said something to me.
“Oh . . .” Emma looked uncomfortable. “I don’t remember exactly when she told me. She was just relieved when I told her you’d come out of the coma, and I think she kind of expected you’d return a call or a message.”
“Yeah, well . . .” I stared at the porch floor. “I didn’t want to talk to anyone, and that included a woman I’d been interested in . . . before. I’m not who I used to be, Emma. I wouldn’t be good for Alison. I’m sorry if that sounds cruel, but it’s the truth. And it’s for her own good.”
“Oh, Noah.” Emma tossed her head back and groaned. “You need to stop being an asshole and call her back. Please. Do it for me, okay?”
I frowned, wondering why this was so important to Emma. Was it just that she loved playing matchmaker, or that she thought Alison might be able to coax me back to real life? That idea was unlikely. Alison was an incredible woman, someone I’d dared to dream I might deserve in a past life, but I was beyond even her help now.
I swallowed and bowed my head. “I’ll think about it. That’s the most I can give you.”
She glared at me, her eyes narrowed, and I squirmed a little. I had the same uncomfortable sense that I did when my mom knew I’d done something wrong and was trying to get me to confess.
“I said I’ll think about it,” I repeated, a bit more gently this time. “But trust me, Emma. Even if she doesn’t realize it, Alison is better off without me.”
