“Oh my God.” Peyton slapped her hand to her chest and closed her eyes. “I would die. I would just absolutely melt.”
I looked at her and mused that if I thought standing outside her window with a boombox would win me the heart of Peyton Rivers, I’d stand there every night for the rest of my life. I’d do it until my arms gave out and my knees turned to jelly.
If only it were that easy . . .
I wished that I could do over every single one of those near-miss moments. If I could, I’d be bold and tell her that she belonged with me, the man who could love her the way she deserved, not some bonehead loser like Ryan Harvey.
I didn’t have a time machine, but I had the here and now. Overhearing what Ryan had told his friends gave me a rare advantage, the ability to offer Peyton a lifeline in the midst of what probably felt like a hopeless storm.
Ryan had said she’d run off somewhere. He probably wouldn’t know where she’d go when she was sad or upset, but I had a hunch that I knew.
Waydown at the far end of the Cove’s beach, the landscape changed abruptly. A rocky outcropping formed something a little like a cliff, and the sandy area was narrow, often disappearing altogether during high tide. Locally known as the end of the Cove, it wasn’t a popular spot since it was so far from the restaurants and shops on the main drag, and parking was limited, too.
But one day last year, when I’d asked Peyton about her plans for after high school, we’d gotten on the topic of things we’d miss about the Cove. My list was pretty short; although I didn’t say it out loud, the only thing I was to regret about the end of school was losing my connection to Peyton. Not being able to see her every weekday was going to break my heart.
Peyton had been thoughtful, tilting her head and pursing those perfect pink lips as she considered the question.
“Well, I’ve never been anywhere but the Cove. It’s home, you know? But if I have to name something . . .” She had blinked slowly. “I love hanging out at the Rip Tide, of course. That’s my family’s place, you know—my uncle and aunt own it, and my cousin Jude pretty much runs it now. It’s like a second home. Still, though—” She had cast me a quick assessing glance. “Sometimes I like to be alone, you know? I just need to hear myself think. There’s a spot under the cliff at the end of the Cove. You can’t really see it unless you’re looking for it. When I was little, I used to go hide there whenever I was sad or feeling sorry for myself. I still sneak away sometimes when—” She broke off and took a deep breath. “Anyway, I guess that’s what I’ll miss when I leave the Cove. If I do, that is. I still don’t know if college is for me, or if I’ll even get in anywhere I want to go.”
I’d assured Peyton that she could go anywhere she wanted, to any college, and the direction of the conversation had shifted, but I had tucked that bit of Peyton information away for just such an occasion as this.
And sure enough, after I’d lucked out and slid my ancient Chevette into a just-vacated spot and then jogged to the beach, I spotted a flash of hot-pink on the rocks below the overhang. Peyton had worn an oversized tee in that color today with a pair of denim shorts, I remembered.
When I approached her, plodding through the sand with my sneakers in my hand, I saw that Peyton had tucked herself as far as possible into a crevice in the rock. Her knees were bent, and she had wrapped her arms around her legs. Her feet were bare, with toe nail polish that matched her shirt. The face that she lifted to me when she heard my steps was flushed, with eyes swollen and red.
“Nash, this really isn’t?—”
“Hey.” I pretended that she hadn’t spoken. “So this is your special spot.”
“Yeah.” She swiped at her nose with the back of her hand. “But right now, I want to be alone. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize.” I dropped down to settle on a rock that had been made smooth by the water. “Don’t ever apologize to me about anything, Peyton. You don’t need to. Okay?”
“Oh, Nash.” She drew in a shuddering breath. “If you only knew.”
“Yeah?” I slid my feet into the sand. “Maybe I know more than you realize.” I hesitated a beat, digging up some courage. “Maybe I knowyoubetter than you realize.”
Peyton snorted softly. “I doubt that. You know the image of me. You know the me who everyone sees at school, the cheerleader, the honor student . . . you don’t really know what I’m like inside.”
“You’re beautiful,” I blurted out before I could stop myself. “You’re beautiful inside, just like you are outside. Maybe other people don’t see it, but I do. I swear to you, I do.”
“Oh, Nash.” Peyton sounded weary. She let her head fall back against the rock behind her, her eyes drifting shut. “You’re so sweet. You’re just—you’re a good guy. I’ve always known that. I wish—I mean, I know you can’t turn back time, but so many times, I’ve wished it was you I—” Her lips pressed together, and her brow crinkled as a single tear trailed down the apple of her flushed cheek.
“Peyton.” I dared to do what I’d never done before, reaching for her hand. Her eyes flew open, but she didn’t pull her fingers away from my grip.
“Peyton, I—I wish I didn’t have to say this, but I know why you’re upset. I was in the locker room, clearing out my gym stuff, and I overheard Ryan talking to his friends. He said—” I paused, wondering if there was a kinder way to phrase it. “He said you—you’re, um, pregnant.”
She did snatch her hand away then, sitting up and turning her back to me. “Of course, he’s out there spreading the news, huh? The perfect Peyton went and got herself knocked up. So much for her bright and shiny future. So much for Miss Prissy Ass Rivers, right?”
She curled herself over, her shoulders shaking. I couldn’t help myself; I crawled toward her and wrapped my arms around her slender frame, holding on tight.
“It’s going to be okay, Peyton. Shhhh. Please, don’t cry. C’mon. Don’t.”
“It’s not going to be okay.” Peyton turned to bury her face in my chest, and my heart began to pound. How many times had I dreamed of this, fantasized about holding this woman against my body? But never in those visions had she been crying as though her heart was in danger of shattering.
I smoothed a hand down her spine, rubbing gently as I made shushing noises, letting her cry it out. My fingers tangled in her hair, and I carefully combed through the strands so as not to pull and hurt her.
Jesus, I would do anything in the world to avoid hurting this girl. If I had my way, I’d build a cocoon around her, keep her safe from anything and anyone who might cause her any kind of distress. Her sobs tore at my heart, devastating me at the same time that my ire rose, making me want to pulverize Ryan into a bloody mess for hurting my girl.
