“She’s very sweet,” I assured him. “I liked her. And I’m glad you’ve got such good friends here. It makes me realize—” I broke off, frowning.
“Makes you realize what?” Nash prompted.
“Oh, I don’t know.” I waved my hand. “I guess it made me think that maybe Peg and Charlie are right that I don’t really have friends or a community. I thought they were making a big deal out of nothing, but it’s possible that they have a point.”
Nash leaned forward. “Move to Burton. You’ll make lots of friends and have a supportive community. You’ll love it.”
I laughed, but my humor died when Nash didn’t join me. His gaze was steady as he wrapped my hand in both of his.
“Seriously, Peyton. I want you to think about it.” He lifted our joined hands to his lips. “You and I are so good together. We can talk for hours, we have so much in common, and our chemistry—I don’t think anyone can deny that we’re explosive in bed together.”
“No one is denying it,” I murmured. “But good sex isn’t a reasonable justification for someone to uproot her whole life and move.”
Nash sat back. “I just said that we’re more than that.”
“And I agree. I love our time together, Nash. Finding you again—it’s been so wonderful. I’m finally getting to find out one of my biggest what-ifs—and realizing that you were the better choice all along.” I grappled to find the right words. “Nash, if our lives had been different, if we found each other again when we were younger, it would be a totally different situation. But now—now I have a life, and it’s settled and pleasant and mine. I love it. I might not have friends, and my daughter might think I’m a recluse, but—” I broke off as Lucie came over to take our coffee order.
“We have a great special today, if you’re interested,” she began, and then seeing our faces, she stepped backward. “You know, why don’t I just go bring you both one of our specials? On the house, like I said.”
Nash nodded, and once Lucie had hurried away, he let out a long breath.
“Peyton, I just don’t know—” He began and then shook his head. “I’ve been trying to be as open and honest with you as I can from the moment we found each other again. I hoped we were on the same page. I understand that maybe that’s not fair to you because I’ve had a long head start on being in love with you.”
My breath caught.
“I had a huge crush on you from the first time we met when we were freshmen. Then when we got to know each other, when we became friends, I fell head over heels in love with you. From then on, there was never anyone else. For years after you left, I tried to forget you. Tried to find someone else. Worked so damned hard to get you out of my mind. It never quite worked, but I managed to go on with life anyway.
“But then when I saw you again, and I found out that you’re not married, you’re not with someone else, I knew we had a chance to be together. And I want to take that chance with you. I told you back in the Cove that I was ready to figure out how we can make this work.”
I gripped the edge of the table. “I know. And I told you that I would try.” I tapped my chest. “And me being here this weekend? This is me trying. You might not realize it, but coming here and spending the night with you is stepping way out of my comfort zone.”
“I’m glad for that. Grateful that you did.” Nash picked up his paper napkin, folding it in half and then in half again. “And I’ll give you time, Peyton. But I need to know that we’re moving in the same direction. I want you to meet Max and Reggie. I want to get to know Charlie. I want to visit your store in Savannah, and I want to see your house. I want to be open about how we feel about each other. With you, Peyton Rivers, I want it all. And yeah, I’ll wait, but I don’t want to wait forever.”
Lucie chose that moment to return with our coffees and a plate of pastries. She glanced worriedly from Nash to me.
“Enjoy your breakfast. And if you need anything else, just yell.”
Once she had retreated again, I took a deep breath. “You have been honest with me, Nash. I’d never claim anything less. And when you talk like you do, I start to think that maybe what you say is actually possible.”
He hitched his chair forward. “It is possible, Peyton. All of it, and more.”
I closed my eyes. “I want to believe that. But when I consider what would happen if we . . . took a chance with each other, then I start to panic.”
“You panic?” Nash sounded incredulous. “When you think about being with me, that’s your reaction?”
“That’s not what I meant.” I rushed to make myself clear. “I said I’m worried about all of the changes that would have to happen in order forusto happen. You’ve told me yourself a number of times that we aren’t eighteen years old anymore. We have commitments, people who depend on us. We both have homes. And even though I think it’s a crazy coincidence that we ended up living less than an hour from each other all this time, Burton and Savannah are still two different places. How would we make that work?”
“I don’t know.” Nash picked up his cup and sipped the coffee Lucie had placed before him. “I never claimed to have all of the details worked out. But if we decide we’re going to be together, it’ll work out.”
“That is such amanthing to say,” I snorted. “Things don’t just work out. People make decisions and then someone has to figure out all the hows and the wheres . . . and that someone is usually a woman.”
“I wouldn’t do that to you,” Nash snapped. “I’ve never treated you that way, Peyton. Since I’ve known you—since we’ve been friends, and even before then—I only ever showed you respect.”
“I know. I wasn’t trying to insinuate anything like that.” I was trying to stay calm, but deep inside of me, a storm was roiling. I didn’t understand why I was so upset, but there was no denying that I was. It felt as though everything in my calm and well-ordered life was threatening to fly out of my control, and it was terrifying.
“Okay.” Nash picked up a pastry and broke it in half. “I understand that you need a little time. We can let this go for now.” He offered me a piece of the Danish.
I took the pastry and bit into it absently. I knew Nash was trying to be conciliatory, to give me the space and time I needed, but I was still lost in my own turmoil, and I felt as though I needed to justify my hesitation.
