“For what, leading me on, or being a controlling asshole?” I spit back at him.
“Both,” he admits as he finally lifts his chin and meets my eyes to acknowledge his apology. “I’m a fucked-up mess. But that doesn’t excuse my behavior last night.”
I don’t know what to say, because my anger is slipping away, and the sympathy I have for him is creeping in.
“Don’t look at me with pity, I don’t need it,” he hisses.
“I don’t do pity. But I’ll forget last night ever happened if it means we can move on. But you only get one strike, and that’s it in my world. There is no second strike, end of story.” I free my arm from his grip and walk away, but the goosebumps on my body are still tingling as I hurry to put distance between us.
“You didn’t tell me you met my little cherubs yesterday, Poppy,” Mom says as I step into the kitchen. “And what’s this I hear about a cookie-making contest we are having?” It’s then I notice the twinkle in her eye from the joy of having the boys here. Probably the one good thing I will take home from this trip is knowing that she’s happy and is not lonely without me around. She is reveling in an early chance of pretending to be a grandmother. And it’s probably a good thing because who knows when I’ll ever be ready to have children. I mean, I would like a partner for that to happen, but that space on my bingo card for 2025 became vacant again when Dean and I broke up.
The sound of Kade and Nash cheering about who is going to win breaks me out of my thoughts, and I can feel Landon’s presence as he walks into the room.
“I am the master cookie maker, so I think I’ll win.” And the loving smoothness of his voice when he speaks to his kids wraps around me in a totally different and unexpected way. I’m sure I could get pregnant just from listening to this version of him. Where was this man hiding last night?
“No, Dad! Mrs. B is the cookie master, not you,” Nash demands.
“Well, I guess we’ll find out who it is soon enough. I think we can make a date for next Sunday for the great cookie bake-off. What do you say, boys?” He ruffles the top of both their heads as I step forward to sneak a piece of salami off the homemade pizzas Mom just pulled out of the oven.
“I hear you like salami,” Landon expresses from behind me, and I’m instantly choking at the image of him naked and the embarrassment that he even knows about that conversation between me and Autumn. Just wait until I speak to her.
As I struggle to draw air into my lungs and pass the piece of food that’s caught in my throat, Landon starts to pat me firmly on the back.
“Are you okay?” Mom begins fussing, and the look of concern on the boys’ faces has me trying to dislodge it quicker. Finally, another firm thump from Landon does the trick, and I feel a freeing rush of air into my lungs. I quickly try to regain my composure, because I don’t want the boys upset.
“That’s what happens when you get greedy and try to beat everyone to the best piece of salami,” I say, once my breathing is back under control, and the boys are immediately by my side hugging me.
Landon clears his voice behind me, and I’m not sure if it’s from the salami debacle or the vision of his boys being so sweet.
“Well, I think we should get all this food to the table. I’m hungry,” Mom declares, which is followed by cheers from the boys, and I’m glad for the distraction from everyone fussing over me.
Surprisingly, the conversation was kept light and fun over lunch as the boys eagerly told me about all the things they felt were important in their lives. Such as LEGO, dinosaurs, computer games, and, of course, that their father is meanbecause he doesn’t let them play them all the time. Nash wanted to tell me about school and the friends he has made since he moved here. Naturally, Kade tried to talk over top of him, but I admired the way Landon helped him hold his story back until his brother was finished. Watching Kade try not to talk was like the pressure of a soda bottle after it has been shaken up, and you just know that the moment you take the lid off, it will all come rushing out. I love a child with an undeniable spark. And knowing Landon doesn’t ever try to dim that spark gives him brownie points in my book.
Mom is now bringing dessert to the table, while Landon pulls his phone from his pocket and frowns before looking up.
“Sorry, I have to take this,” he apologizes to Mom as he stands and walks away from the table.
“Of course, go.” She waves him away, and I take the opportunity to duck out to the kitchen to grab some more drinks for everyone.
Choosing a couple of juice boxes for the boys and another few bottles of water for the adults, because no one was interested in wine with lunch, I hear Landon raise his voice from the living room where he stepped out to take the call.
“What the hell do you mean you don’t have any nannies available! That’s what your business advertises— ‘Nannies on Call.’ But you’re telling me there is a fucking three-week wait?” He’s pissed, and I can tell that although he is trying to hold it down, he is really struggling to keep himself composed.
“Do you think if I had more notice, I wouldn’t have booked something? There has been a family emergency, and it has left me with no care for my children. That’s where you come in.” I spot of glimpse of him in the hallway mirror that hangs directly opposite the archway into the living room. He’s pacing while running his hand through his hair and looking agitated. “Of course I’ve called the other agencies, and they all told me tocall you, because apparently you havenannies on call, any day, any time! Which we both know now is total bullshit.” He stops pacing, scrunches up his eyes, and he’s actually pulling on his hair right now. “Yeah, merry fucking Christmas to you too.” He pulls his phone from his ear and stabs it so hard with his finger that I’m surprised he didn’t crack the screen.
If this was a cartoon, there would be puffs of smoke steaming out of his ears, but I’m guessing his predicament is far from funny.
Putting two and two together, I gather that his nanny, Renee (who I rescued the other night) can no longer look after Kade and Nash. Her mother must need her, and that leaves Landon without childcare and in a world of pain. Being only two weeks out from Christmas, it would be hard to find staff in any industry, because I’m assuming nannies would be booked solid, with parents working in the pre-holiday rush and the kids on vacation from school.
I place the drinks on the table and walk down the hallway. I can’t believe I’m about to do this.
“Everything okay?” I startle him out of his deep concentration as I step into the room.
“Not really,” he replies, sliding his phone back into his pocket.
“Can I help with anything?” And that’s when I begin to understand the exhaustion behind his eyes. It’s not just from lack of sleep; Landon is struggling both emotionally and mentally.
“Thanks, but I’ll work something out. Sorry I disrupted lunch.” As he walks past me to head back to the others, I reach out, and this time it’s me grabbing onto his arm.
