And once again, I’m overshadowed with guilt, but this time it includes remorse for the beautiful woman who just left. I should never have brought her into my mess.
She doesn’t deserve that, not even for one night.
And I’m guessing I don’t deserve one night either.
How the hell am I going to look her in the eye tomorrow and tell her how sorry I am, when no matter what my brain tells me, my body is still screaming for her touch.
Chapter Six
POPPY
“Shit, shit, shit,” I mumble to myself as I strip off this gingerbread onesie for the second time tonight, except this time it’s in my bedroom, not his.
My body is still thrumming with electricity, and my head is in full panic mode.
“What was I thinking trying to seduce Landon like that?” I crawl under the covers and bury my face into my pillow while I scream my frustration.
Once I let it all out, I roll onto my back and stare at the ceiling.
We’ve been dancing around each other since we met, the sexual tension firing up the moment we are in the same room, but both of us have been holding back. I’ve been trying to ignore it, but tonight, I wanted to feel something.
There’s no question why I did it, the stupid text messages in the work group chat that I let get to me, causing me to step over the line we had agreed to draw in the sand between us. After seeing the pictures of Dean and Kyra, our station’s probationaryofficer, I felt like I’d been replaced by a younger shinier model, and even though I don’t want Dean, it still hurts.
I wanted to know someone still found me sexy, that I still had what it takes to make a man quiver as he comes deep inside me. I flirted with him and pushed him to touch me. And oh God, what a touch it was. My body is still vibrating with the aftereffects of the anticipation of him fucking me. I thought it was just sex I wanted, but the moment he kissed me, I was gone, spiraling, because it was so much more. The connection was like nothing I’ve ever felt. My mind started racing to places it shouldn’t, and I was lost in his vortex. He had control of me in a way I’m not used to, and I yielded willingly. It was breathtaking, and all I could think of as I scrambled to get dressed was how do I get him to do that again, and next time, not stop? Because I’m scared that our window of opportunity just slammed shut.
We promised each other it was just for one night. I would help him feel good, and he would unknowingly restore my confidence that I won’t be alone forever. He tried so hard to hold back, but I pushed him until he snapped, and it was glorious to watch.
The moment he opened the door this afternoon I knew we were in trouble. The way he looked at me like he wanted to eat me on the spot but tried to cover it up with his comedic response. My brain went “fuck it, I want this man, and I’m not pretending anymore.”
And tonight, I was ready to take what I wanted, but it was over before we got to the good part. So now, I have no idea where I stand because I didn’t stay around long enough to find out. The way he barked at me to get dressed, I knew it was over… for tonight, anyway. What comes next, I don’t know. But what I do know is that tomorrow I have to show up at his place like nothing happened and carry on being his nanny.
His kids will always come first, and I wouldn’t expect anything less from him or from me.
Closing my eyes, I can still see him, shirtless in his black pants, knowing that what he has under them is large after skimming it with my hands. I wish we didn’t have to stop. I wanted to take his cock in my hand and drag one of those deep groans from him as I pull him. Dropping to my knees and opening wide for him to fuck my mouth, slide his fingers into my hair and pull tight. Using me to make himself come down my throat.
Licking my lips, I imagine what he tastes like.
I’m confused by the way I wanted him to take me because I’m not one to give up control in my life, but with him, I know it would be worth it.
Just thinking about it makes the sexual tingling in my body worse. I need relief. I work my hand under my panties, feeling how wet I am, and it’s all because of him. Dragging my finger through my folds, I settle on my clit and can’t help the moan coming from my lips.
The more I work myself into a frenzy, all I can hear is his deep sexy voice in my head telling me, “You are not going to come until I tell you to,” and I can’t get past it. The more I rub myself, it’s like my orgasm is just out of reach, and I scream inside my head with so much sexual frustration.
“Bastard,” I whimper as my phone alerts me to a message from him.
Landon: We need to talk.
Poppy: Not now, busy.
That’s all I can manage to type one-handed while I’m searching for my vibrator I packed from home.
Landon: Now! Answer the call.
Oh lordy, he is FaceTiming me. I should ignore it, but I can’t. I’m too desperate to let the explosive orgasm ravage me, and I can’t get there on my own.
The moment I accept the call, his face fills the screen, and he growls at what he sees.
“I told youIcontrol your orgasms tonight! Get those blankets off and prop that phone where I can see your body. I don’t care how cold you are.” Listening to his demand is just what I need. Thank God Mom’s bedroom is at the other end of the house, and I have my phone turned down low.
