“Fuck me,” I blurt out. As much as I want to taste him, I want to feel him inside me more.
His head rising gives a momentary reprieve, but the need for more doesn’t change. Pushing to his feet, he leans over me and takes my breast in his mouth, biting down on my nipple.
“Holy shit,” I let out. His hands on my waist, he lifts and throws me farther up the bed. And for a man who loves to talk dirty, he is weirdly quiet.
Walking to the side of his bed, he opens the drawer and pulls out a box of condoms. The box hasn’t been opened, and I wonder how long it’s been there. Not wasting any time, he tears it open and pulls a strip out, taking the first one in his teeth and ripping it open. The moment he starts rolling it over his cock, my brain starts panicking.
He's so big, will it fit? I know logically the answer is yes, but still. He is thick and long, in the best possible way. But I’m already squeezing my legs together in anticipation.
Climbing back onto the bed, he moves over top of me on his knees. I’m sure he can read the panic on my face as he leans down and kisses my lips. Not the ferocious type of kiss but one that is soft and tender. Calming in a way I don’t know how to process.
“I want you,” he whispers. The look in his eyes is like he is begging me to help him take this final step. It’s a huge thing for him to push aside the life he had before and move on, and I get that.
“You have me, in whatever way you need me.” Licking across his top lip, a visceral reaction runs through his body as he moves in between my legs. Taking my knees in his hands, he pushes them toward my chest. I grab them and hold myself open for him as he lines his cock up, and that first push has him closing his eyes like he is in pain. I wish I could be in his head right now to know what he’s thinking.
Pulling back, his breathing is shallow, and I lift my hand and softly place it on the side of his face. “Just fun, remember?”Stroking his cheek with my thumb, his body goes still, holding himself up on his forearms. Slowly his eyes open, and he gazes into my eyes. “Let yourself feel, Landon.” And it’s like my words flick a switch in him.
His hips surge forward as he thrusts all the way inside me.
“Fuuuuck,” he growls. I almost draw blood with how tight I’m biting my lip, not wanting my scream to let loose. I don’t want him to know how much that hurt, even if it was the best sort of pain.
“More,” I state in a demanding tone, and it’s what snaps him out of being inside his own head.
“Oh, you’ll get more and more and more, until you can’t take it any longer. I get to decide how much more you get.”
It makes me smile on the inside that he thinks that’s true. Let’s see how much he is in control here. I squeeze the walls of my pussy around his cock that is buried deep inside me. His eyes clamp shut, and the rush of air from him tells me he is hanging on by a thread.
“You don’t play fair,” he mumbles as he starts to move. He begins pounding into me, and I’m along for the ride of my life. It’s like he has given himself permission to let loose and take me as hard as my body will take.
When I thought I was spent from his head between my legs, it was nothing compared to the spine-tingling feeling he is giving me now. I know I can’t hold back this time, and I don’t think he wants me to.
As I reach the peak of my body literally about to explode, his name comes off my lips as my second orgasm overtakes my whole body. “Landon…” Hearing his name is all he needs to fall over the edge of pure ecstasy.
“Poppy.” He grunts loudly, and I feel him pulsing inside as he comes hard. Pushing in and out a few more times, he rides the wave of his pleasure, until his body goes limp like mine, and hegrasps me as he rolls us both over to our sides. His arms wrap tight around my back, and I’m pressed hard against his body like he doesn’t want to let me go.
And that’s when I know that no matter what we said, this is so much more than just fun. This was real for both of us, a moment in time that we will hold close but never be able to go back to.
“Thank you.” His whisper into my neck is everything. Because no matter what happens, or how hard this is going to hurt when I’m lying in my bed in Rochester and can’t get him out of my head, I will know I helped him move on and live his life. To be the best father to his boys and to accept that it’s okay to look for love again.
Sadly, it just can’t be with me.
After Landon went to the bathroom, getting a warm cloth and cleaning us both up, we lay here for hours just talking. It’s not how I imagined the night going, but it’s so much better. It’s like both our walls are down and we can be honest with no judgment.
We talked about Lucinda and Dean, where I had to make Landon promise he wouldn’t turn up at my fire station to deal with my jerk of an ex. But it felt good to have someone who cares enough to stand up for me. That means the world to me.
Drifting off for a few hours’ sleep, I woke again to Landon peppering soft kisses down my neck, his hands exploring my body. He took me in the most sensual way of making love to me. It wasn’t rushed or hard where he couldn’t hold back anymore. This was different, and I will hold this with me forever.
The alarm on his phone starts blaring through the quiet room, and we both know it’s the end of whatever we are together. He must go back to being a father to two little boys who are going to be so excited that it’s Christmas Eve, and I need to spend time with my mom before I leave again in two days.
“You took me by surprise, Perfect Poppy.” He kisses me on the top of the head as we stand just inside his front door, because the moment we step outside, this is over.
“And you were never on my twelve days of Christmas list, but I’ll add that for next year’s edition.” I regret it after I say it, but he just smiles down at me because we both know that won’t be happening.
“Come on, we need to go get the boys. You have presents to wrap and Santa preparations with them before you head off to work.” I open the door, and he is still holding my hand, not ready to let it go.
“Can I throw a tantrum and say I’m not ready to go back to adulting yet?” He finally drops my hand as I start laughing. He closes the door behind us, and we make the way over to Mom’s house to prepare for Christmas Day tomorrow.
LANDON
