I’m going back to Silverpine. By the time you read this letter, I’ll probably already be there. My grandfather is dying and he’s requested--demanded--that I return. In a perfect world, he would understand my need for you, he would understand that I can’t be happy without you. This isn’t a perfect world.
I carry around too much guilt for leaving and a part of me feels like I owe my grandfather for raising three rowdy boys who just lost their parents. He’s the man who taught me everything, but he’s also demanding and strict, and he expects me to take over as the head of the family after he’s gone. There was never another choice for me.
I want to be selfish and ask you to come with me. Don’t worry, I’m not going to. I’m not going to remove you from your roots and plant you where you don’t belong. I also know it’s going to be a hard transition for me and I’m not going to be a good partner for you.
You’ll probably hate me, and you have every right to. The choice should have been yours. But loving someone means you’re willing to make good choices for them. To protect them. I hope you know that I’m protecting you, baby girl. From the town, from the bitterness of waiting for me to come back all the while knowing I can’t.
I’m never going to stop loving you, Scarlett. You’re not going to run into me in ten years and see me living a life without you. Without you, there is no life. I’m a creature of skin and bones, merely existing. You’re the thing which gives me life.
I’m so sorry.
Always yours,
Connor
A tear splashes onto the page, and I hastily swipe at my cheek. Sadie was right. This is a love letter.
“Angel.”
I blink and look up to see my family standing in the room, all wearing faces of concern.
“Hi, Daddy.”
“Oh, honey, what happened?” Mom rushes forward and pulls me into a hug. “I know you shouldn’t have left with him. You’re so much smarter than that, Scarlett. What did Connor do?”
I hug my mother, breathing in the scent of her perfume, the same one she’s worn since I was a kid. I look at the rest of my family over her shoulder.
“He bought me a ring,” I find myself saying. “He keeps it in his sock drawer. He built me a recording studio in his house because even though we don’t have to live here, he wants me to be comfortable when we visit. He told me I’m what gives him life.”
“He broke her,” Sadie says. “That’s too much emotion for her to handle.”
Maybe Connor did break me because I can’t stop the flow of tears. I’m crying for the year and a half we missed out on. I cry for the boy who never felt his dreams were accepted.
Dad walks over and kisses the top of my head.
“She’s just a little overwhelmed,” Dad says.
I pull away from mom and wipe my tears, folding the letter and putting it back in my purse. I’m probably going to have to frame or put it in a plastic protector so it doesn’t get damaged over the years.
As we driveup to Cedar Creek Ranch the next morning, I realize it wasn’t enough that Connor was thinking of me last night. I needed him with me, needed to feel his hands on my body.
So I’m a little eager as we get out of the car and walk towards the stable.
I see him immediately. He’s got his hat on, which I left here the night before last. He’s busy brushing Midnight’s shiny black coat, leaning in to whisper in his ear. I admire his resilience. He never wanted to be here, but I can’t deny that he’s made something good of it.
“Ooh, who’s that?” I turn to Mia, following her gaze to Oliver, who’s working with the other horses. The ranch horseman has a forbidding, dark look about him. He’s cute, but he also gives off ‘don’t come near me’ vibes.
“Mia, he’s so much older than you. He’s older thanme,” I say.
She looks at me with wide brown eyes. “Connor is older than you.”
“That’s different. I met him when my frontal lobe had already developed. And the difference between twenty-seven and thirty-eight is a lot shorter than nineteen and whatever age Oliver is.”
She twists her mouth to the side, still looking at Oliver like he’s a delicious meal. Julia walks up next to her sister and while they’re talking, I walk over to Connor.
“Hey, handsome,” I say.
Connor turns to me, eyes sparkling with delight. “Are you talking to me or Midnight?”
