“I know.” I nod. “I am.”
He scoffs. “That’s not what I’m seeing. Things are going to change. Do you understand me?”
That has my attention. I look at him again, but it isn’t because I feel like I have to, it’s because I want to. I want to see what his face looks like while he is apparently laying down the law. I don’t get why he cares whether or not I look like shit.
“No. Not really,” I answer him honestly.
The little chatter in the room from the others at dinner dies down to absolutely nothing. No one says a word and I know why. It’s because no one tells Zeus no.
He steeples his fingers in front of him and leans forward so that his elbows are on the table. “Why is that?” he asks.
I move forward in a pose that mimics his own. I don’t know why. Maybe I’m tired of feeling like my life is one big fucking joke that is entirely out of my hands and want to cause a little chaos.I don’t know, but I do it. The energy in the room changes. It shifts from quiet interest to no one daring to breathe. It’s obvious they all are now watching me just as closely as they are watching Zeus.
They are interested in what I have to say. Like it might be just as important as the self appointed ruler of this little underworld. I normally would feel nervous under their attention and try to get away from it, but right now I face it head on.
I think of Law’s face the last time I saw him and lift my chin a little higher. What else do I really have to lose at this point?
“Because I don’t know you. Why do you care what happens to me?”
“I told you. Your mother and I-”
“Are old friends. Sure,” I say, cutting him off and earning a gasp from someone at the table. They aren’t used to anyone talking over Zeus. I ignore them. “My mother doesn’t have friends. She has enemies from people she fucked over and people that haven’t quite figured out what a bitch she is. But not friends. So I’m going to ask you again, why do you care what happens to me?”
A tense silence fills the room and Zeus says nothing. He watches me, so still that if I didn’t know any better I would have thought he was one of those wax statues everyone wants to be made into. The silence stretches on, each second ticking by slower and slower until it is like time stops. Nothing else exists except for the staring match Zeus and I are in. I bite my lip but don’t look away from him, though it’s hard to keep it up.
I’d given into my streak of rebelliousness, but fuck, if I hadn’t just jumped right into the deep end by challenging Zeus.
What the fuck am I thinking?
The fire that has been stirring in me is already dying down, but even so, I know why I did it. I’m mad, angry, tired of feeling like I am insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Endlessly swept up and away by those with more power than me. People that don’t justlivelike the rest of us, but have plans, always an end goal in mind that always seems to come at my expense.
I am fairly sure that life brings these cruel people into everyone’s life. It is the natural order of things. But for some reason, life has seen fit tofillmy world with them. I’d thought I had found reprieve from that with Law, but in the end he’d been the same, hadn’t he?
I think of him. The way his back had looked when he’d walked out on me without a backwards glance. My chest goes tight and in the end, I lose my battle of wills with Zeus. I drop my eyes to my plate and a moment later Zeus speaks.
“Rosario is a stupid woman,” he says.
My eyes fly back up to his and I see that he is no longer looking at me, but is pouring himself a glass of wine with a sigh.
“What?” I whisper.
Zeus sets the wine bottle down and looks up at me. “Your mother has very little understanding of how things appreciate over time. She has always been after instant gratification, but you know that, don’t you?” he asks me.
I open my mouth and shut it after a second and simply nod. Zeus is right. My mother never planned ahead. She is always in the moment, insisting that this time will be different. That she is going to make it big after all her sacrificing and hard work, which is also true.
My mother is talented and she is a hard worker, but she has never made it far. The reason, most likely what Zeus is telling me now. She is short-sighted. She will always,always,take the fast cash over the investing, letting it grow.
“What does that have to do with me?” I ask him, still not understanding where he is going with this.
He leans back in his chair and gives me a slight smile. “I had thought to do this in a different way. Perhaps, alone,” he says, glancing at the people still sitting in silence. At his word, they immediately start to move, pushing away from the table with dips of their heads before scurrying out of the room.
I let out a sigh of relief. It’s nicer without them around. I haven’t said a word to them, but it is still hard to be around so many people that I know don’t give a shit about me. It’s one of the reasons I’d taken work the way I had.
If I move around enough, then I won’t notice exactly how alone I am. It won’t hurt so much then, to be on the outside. After everything with Law, seeing people going on like everything was normal, fine, like I’m not sitting next to them with my heart ripped out of my chest, is exhausting.
Zeus sips his wine, twirling the glass in his fingers with a satisfied hum. “That’s better, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
