“Cordelia, the silent treatment sucks between friends.”
“We’re not friends.”
“Not with that attitude we’re not.” I pick up my speed. I’ve outrun Thorne before, I think I can take Lucian. “You’re really going to ignore me?”
I don’t answer him, just keep going, so does he. “Fine, I’ll run with you for a while. It’s not like I haven’t just run half this territory anyways. What’s one more run?”
I duck my head and focus on the switchbacks in front of me. My eyes water when I remember how happy I was walking up them this afternoon with my basket full of mushrooms. I’d been planning the dinner I was going to wow Thorne with. The only thing on my mind was what it would be like when I saw him.
Well, now I knew. It was torture.
“So what’s up with the run? Just needed some air?”
I keep my head down. Just because I’m crying doesn’t mean I need Lucian to comment on it. I should know better, though. The alpha sees it even with me turning my head away from him.
“What’s wrong?”
There’s nowhere to go. One switchback leads up back to the Keep or forward into another switchback. I power ahead. I’m dead set on not saying another word and for a while I succeed. Mostly because Lucian isn’t pushing talking, which I’m thankful for. It’s nice to run with someone. Wolves are social creatures and there’s comfort in running in step with Lucian while I’m falling apart. It’s when we reach the meadow that he speaks again.
“Gonna tell me what’s wrong now? I mean, that’s the second time we’ve hit those switchbacks together. We definitely bonded, right?”
I roll my eyes at him. “Nothing. Nothing is wrong and I’m not bonded to anyone or anything.”
“Lies.”
“Why do you care?” I snap. I’m not a mean person. I don’t snap at people, or maybe that’s who I used to be before tonight. Before every part of me that insisted on fighting for something better got kicked in the teeth again. Maybe I do snap at people when they ask me what’s wrong.
“Because you’re pack.”
I huff out a bitter laugh. ‘I’m not.”
“That’s news to me. Ronan know about that?” he asks and my heart hurts. Ronan. I wanted to get to know the alpha. He knew my mother. Loved her. I thought…well, it doesn’t matter what I thought it could be like living where he was. It’s not like he’s my father. But he is the closest thing to it I’ve ever come face-to-face with. It would have been nice to know him.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Does it matter if Thorne knows?”
I lose the battle to cry silently. A sob wracks my body and I have to slow down. Just hearing his name from someone else’s mouth is enough to kill me. I can feel him through our bond. He’s there. He’s angry. I don’t even want to stop and think about why he’s angry at me.
I stop running and face Lucian. “Listen, I don’t know what you think you know about me and Thorne but you’re wrong. Now, please, just leave me alone.”
The Defender sighs and runs his hands through his hair. “Sorry, can’t do that. I don’t know what happened but I do know I’m not letting you go alone. Thorne would never forgive me.”
“He wouldn’t care. He’d be glad I’m gone.”
Lucian tilts his head. “We talking about the same Thorne? Broody? Man of few words? RBF for like 99% of the world?”
I blink. “What’s an RBF?”
“Oh you sweet summer child.”
I roll my eyes and stomp away from him. I’m not running, though. It just seems silly with Lucian easily keeping pace. I take a deep breath and walk out into the meadow. It’s quiet, only the sound of wind blowing through the grass and the chirping of crickets breaks up our steps.
“Lucian, just go back. I’m fine. You don’t need to get dragged into any of this.”
“I’m staying.” He holds up his hands as we walk. “You don’t want to be caught out here anyways. The ferals-”
I wave him off. “I know, I know. The ferals will get me. Big deal. Maybe it would be better if they did.”
