Maud kneels beside the tub and starts pouring warm water over my shoulders. “Here, use this.” She hands me a bar of olive oil soap. I do what I’m told on autopilot. I’m not here in Maud’s hut, I’m still back in the town square where Keiran rejected me.
“You’re not one of us and you never will be. You’re pathetic and weak, a used up orphan begging for love. You’ve always disgusted me.”
Fresh tears prick my eyes and the soap slips from my hands as a sob racks my body. I curl forward over my knees while Maud rubs my shoulders.
“When will it stop hurting?”
“In time.”
“I feel like I’m going to die.”
“Most do.” Maud moves. I can hear the rattle of bottles before she’s back at the tub with me. This time she’s on the side and she’s holding an amber bottle in her hand. It must be more essential oils.
I lift my head and look up at Maud. “How could he walk away from me like I was nothing? How is he not hurting like I am? H-how could he do this to me?”
She gives me a sad smile. “Keiran is too much like his father. There’s nothing he loves more than power. You know that,” she pauses and then adds, “I promise you he is in worse shape than you. Even if you don’t see it, Keiran Ashland is trapped in his own personal hell.”
I shake my head. “I don’t believe you. You saw him tonight. He was like…” I wrap my arms around my legs and squeeze tight. I can see the way Keiran’s eyes went cold, like shutters being pulled on a house. “He was like an animal.”
“Isn’t that what we are?” Maud asks. She pulls the stopper on the bottle in her hand. The acrid smell of burned fur and sour sulfur fills my nose and I jerk back.
I clap a hand over my nose. The smell is overpowering, there’s no hint of lavender and rosemary now. Just the rotting stink of what’s in Maud’s bottle.
“What is that? It reeks!” I gag and Maud rolls her eyes at my dramatics.
“This is the heat cure you need, girl.” She waves the bottle in front of my face. I dodge her when she gets too close to my nose. “We have to have you on your way tomorrow morning, don’t we?”
I hesitate but nod. “Well…yes….” If I’m not gone, the Alpha is going to come for me. I meant what I said. I would rather die than let him touch me which makes staying an absolute no, so I try again. “Yes, that’s right.”
Maud holds up the bottle. “This is how we’re going to do it then.”
I plug my nose when she gives the bottle a swirl. Whatever is inside swishes against the amber glass. “What does it do?”
“Breaks a heat.”
My eyes widen. I’ve never heard of such a thing. Heats are the one thing female shifters can’t escape. They’re willed by the moon goddess, or at least I thought they were. How is Maud going to break one?
“You can break a heat?”
“Of course I can. They call me a witch, don’t they?”
“I-you’re not a witch,” I insist. Even if I saw her grow to seven feet tall and challenge the Alpha, even though she spelled Keiran and I tonight. Maud has never been a witch to me. “You’re a healer.”
All the knowledge I know about plants and tonics, when to plant carrots for a late harvest and how to mend a broken bonewere all taught to me by Maud. In all that time, I’ve never seen Maud do one magical thing other than shift. Her wolf is a delicate white wolf with black ears and green eyes. She’s faster than I might have thought she would be when she’s in her shifted form. Sadness hits me when I realize I’ll never get to see if my wolf is just as fast.
I shake my head. “You’re not a witch. That’s just a lie they say because they’re all too stupid and scared to think for themselves.”
“Sweet girl, I’m many things to this pack and a witch is one of them. You saw me tonight, you know the truth even if it scares you some. And I’m not just any witch, I’m a powerful witch.”
She’s right, I am scared but I don’t want her to think I’m scared of her. I could never feel that way about her.
“You don’t scare me.”
She winks at me. “I should, but you are right, the pack is dumber than a box of hair. They’re scared of anyone that’s different.” She touches my shoulder. “That’s why they’re scared of you and me.”
“But I-I’m no one. I’m not powerful like you. I’m just an orphan with nowhere to go and,” I come up short and stop talking, “The only thing I’ve ever wanted was to belong somewhere. I wanted that to be here with you and now I have to leave.”
“I know you did. I wanted that too. I love you like my own daughter. I always will, you know that.”
