Maud clucks her tongue at me. “That choice could have gone either way,” she says. “But did I suspect? Yes, but only because I know him well enough. Keiran could have chosen you tonight but he’s too weak. Just like his father. They make a fine pair.”
“Like father, like son,” I mutter and then prepare myself mentally for my next question. “Did you know I was his mate this whole time?”
Maud nods once, just a dip of her chin. I jerk back at the slight movement. “I did. From the second Wayne brought you to my door that very first night.”
I suck in sharp breath at that. I don’t ask why Maud didn’t tell me, because I know she’ll just give me the same answer about not interfering. The only thing I can do is sip my tea and think. It’s all too much. We sit together, the fire crackling merrily away like it’s just another ordinary night where I’ve managed to sneak away from the dorms to spend the night. We sit together until the aching hole in my heart doesn’t feel like I’ll die. I finish my cup of tea and yawn. My body feels heavy now and when I yawn, Maud orders me to bed. I sleep deep and dream about Keiran and the bonfire but in my dream, he doesn’t turn me away. He holds me and kisses me. He tells me he loves me. In my dreams, he claims me in front of everyone.
“I love you, Cordelia. I always have,” he tells me and I wake up with tears staining my pillow.
Chapter
Ten
CORDELIA
Ifeel like shit the next morning, but I keep it to myself. What can anyone do for a severed bond but tough it out? If I told Maud, it would just make her worry and there’s no time for worrying. Not today.
I pack a small bag. It’s not a lot, just a set of night clothes, a pair of jeans, a pair of shorts and a couple of tank tops, as well as the sundress and cardigan I wore last night. Shifters run hot which I’m glad for. Summer is turning into autumn soon and I don’t have a lot in the way of winter clothing. I’m wearing jeans and my hoodie right now, plus my normal work boots. I’m glad they're sturdy enough because I don’t know how I’m meant to get to Bloodstone walking. I could shift and run, but that wouldn’t leave me a lot of options for carrying the money I’ve hidden. I thought I was going to have to go without the change I stored in my nightstand but this morning it was sitting on the kitchen table with my breakfast along with my clothes and a brown backpack.
“Where did this come from?” I asked Maud, sitting down to dig into the breakfast she’d made me. It was a bigger breakfast than I normally had. The plate was loaded with eggs, potatoes, sausage, sourdough bread and a large helping of bacon. Maudwas doing more than her part to mak sure I was ready for the journey I had in front of me.
“You think I was going to let them have one cent that you earned?” Maud asked with a snort. “I went and got it this morning at sunrise. “Caught Chantel going through your things. Can you believe it? The Beta’s mate? Tried to act like I didn’t catch her with her hands in the cookie jar. Made her hand it over along with that backpack she’d brought to take her loot. Who knew they were so hard up they had to steal from you? You’d almost think this pack has a money problem, wouldn’t you?”
Frostclaw Pack is rich enough. There’s no way Chantel would be hurting for money. Not as the Beta’s mate so I laugh.
“She was just doing it to be mean. Serves her right that you caught her.” It makes me smile thinking of Maud catching Chantel red-handed and being forced to give her bag to Maud for her troubles. She won’t live that down for a while.
“You ready?” Maud asks. She’s at her work table bundling together a care package of sorts for me. I told her she didn’t need to do it but she won’t hear of it. She’s added herbs and salves that will be useful if I need to stop a bleed or bring down a fever on the go. If what she's saying is true about healers being in demand, then the herbs she’s giving me will go a long way to helping me find a new pack, especially considering it takes time to come up with a good stock of supplies.
“Just about,” I say as I add in the rations she’s sending me with. Dried fruit, hard cheese, nuts and smoked meats as well as bread. It’s enough for a few days. I hope that I’ll make decent time and be fine with what I’ve got on me. I’ll have to stop for water, but I can do that easily enough, especially while traveling with humans.
“Good. I’ll drive you as far as the edge of town. There’ll at least be a bus you can take to the next town over. If we’re lucky, there will be a bus that takes you the whole way. I want you tobuy a map as soon as you’re able. You stick with the humans until you hit Red River, do you understand? I don’t want you going off and shifting either, not until you’re in Bloodstone territory.”
I nod and commit her instructions to memory. “Yes, ma’am.”
A sharp knock at the door makes Maud curse. “What now?” she grumbles and heads for the door. She passes me the tightly packed leather bound satchel as she passes. “Tuck that under your clothes now before I open that door. It smells like trouble out there,” Maud says and sniffs the air. I do as she says but sniff too. My wolf perks up when I do that. In all of the commotion last night, the pain and loss, I lost her for a bit.
I think she went to sleep. Self-preservation and all that.
She wakes now and scents the air with me. Instantly a keen sounds in her throat.
“It’s Keiran,” I whisper.
Maud rolls her eyes and throws open the door so hard it hits the wall. As expected, Keiran is standing there in the misty morning. Sometime in the night it started raining, the gray skies and constant drizzle mirroring my mood perfectly. Oh Luna, I understand the sorry sound my wolf is making.
I hate that Keiran looks like a summer day standing out in all the gray around him. He’s like the sun breaking through a storm. The perfect way his golden hair falls forward, like sunshine, steals my breath for a moment before reality kicks me square in the teeth. He’s not alone. Bella is at his side. She’s not in a fancy dress this time, but she still looks like a model in a thick white knit beanie, white puffer jacket and red sweater combo with leather boots and wool trousers. I pull at the cuff of my oversized hoodie and wish my work boots weren’t scuffed to high hell. All of it, from the way we look down to our clothes serves as a reminder of why Keiran didn’t choose me. The only nice thing I have on is the homemade beanie Maud made for me. It’s apretty pastel pink that’s soft as a cloud. I pat it and smooth my hair while I pretend I wasn’t just pining away with my wolf for Keiran. I shouldn’t feel pulled to him, not after last night, but there’s a tug in the hollow place that aches in my chest. That vast chasm of nothing still whispers his name and no matter what I do, I can’t silence it.
Luna. I hate my terrible life.
“What do you want?” Maud snaps, surprising not only me but Keiran. He falls back a step and blinks like he doesn’t know where he is. He looks dazed, which isn’t normal. Not for Keiran. He’s so self-assured, so in control that I’ve never seen him speechless. He always knows what to do and say. Always.
Today though…he’s lost as a wet behind the ears pup. When he doesn’t answer Maud after another second, I meet his eyes.
“You’re not one of us and you never will be. You’re pathetic and weak, a used up orphan begging for love. You’ve always disgusted me.”
I look away from him quickly and zip my backpack with a little too much force. The zipper protests and nearly gets stuck while Maud gives an impatient huff at Keiran and Bella.
“I don’t have time to stand here all day and let the warm out. What is it you want?”
