I need to run.
Chapter
Twenty-Nine
CORDELIA
“Is he always like that?” I ask Clyde when Thorne storms out of the cottage. He doesn’t bother closing the door behind him so I end up getting a full view of him shifting. It’s seamless. One second he’s a man and the next he’s a big black wolf loping off into the night. Him leaving the door open tracks though because he did throw the door open so hard I heard it hit the wall. I bite my lip when I spot the dent it made in the wall. I’ve just closed the door behind Thorne when I hear a howl go up outside. It’s loud, almost…sad. That has to be Thorne. Mournful from the sound of it.
Thorne howls again and I put a hand to my chest with a gasp. It’s not just mournful, there’s longing. I know what longing tastes like, what it feels like when something is so close that you can nearly touch it. It’s a bitter taste to swallow. Thorne feels the same if his howl is anything to go by.
Why is he howling like that?
The only time the wolves in Frostclaw howled was during the full moon run. But they were keyed up then, the veil between man and wolf so thin that there was no holding the wolf back.
Is Thorne worked up right now?
If he is, the Frostclaw wolves don’t sound like Thorne does now. They were excited, quick in the way they howled as they tore through the forest. Another howl goes up and it’s hard to hear. It slices through the night so sharply that I swear the window panes rattle. No, he doesn’t sound anything like the Frostclaw wolves.
“Is that Thorne?”
“He is always like that and yes, that’s him,” Clyde says and lights an oil lamp for me. He sets it on the counter and I see there’s a kitchenette in the cottage. There’s enough counter space beside the deep sink that leaving dishes out to dry while I’m cooking won’t be an issue. There’s cabinets and what looks like a china cabinet beside the fireplace. A gas stove takes up the corner beside the counter and there’s enough room for a small dining nook besides the rest of the room being a living room of sorts. There’s a nice couch piled with pillows that make me happy, a wooden chest that doubles as a coffee table too. I see a work table at the far end of the room next to a hallway leading off from there. I bet the bedroom and bathroom are through there. All in all, it’s small but functional and a little more modern than I thought it might be.
“Don’t let him bother you.”
I’ve never had this much space to myself.
I’m in heaven.
I can put up with broody, sassy Thorne with his howls that make me feel like I’m dying inside if it means this cottage is mine.
“He doesn’t bother me,” I lie. I squat down to move the firewood Thorne practically threw on the floor into a basket that sits beside the fireplace. “I’ve known wolves like him before.”
“I’m not too sure about that,” Clyde says. That surprises me.
“What do you mean?”
“He’s not the way he comes across,” Clyde says and gives me a tight smile when I turn to face him. “He’s hard because life has made him that way. Because he needs to be. He cares about this pack. Would lay his life down for any one of us if it came down to it. Sometimes he doesn’t know how to show he cares but I promise you he does.”
The wolves in Frostclaw would have said life made them hard, that they needed to be as cruel as they were to keep the pack strong. But that doesn’t seem quite what Clyde is telling me. And besides, none of them would have let me talk back to them like Thorne has, none of them would have stood with me at the base of Thorne’s Embrace and told me about our history. They wouldn’t have nearly touched my hand and told me I’m home.
They wouldn’t have said they were sorry like Thorne so readily did. Even if we haven’t talked about what happened between us in the meadow…that doesn’t mean that he’s like Keiran, or like the Frostclaw wolves, I tell myself. I hesitate and look Clyde over. He’s opening cabinets to look inside. It’s as good a time as any to push for more information on Thorne, on the pack, but I don’t. Thorne already thinks I’m a spy, what if the Gamma starts thinking I’m one too.
I can’t risk it.
I change the subject with as much finesse as Keiran had the first time he tried to get my bra off. “This is a great cottage. Is the bedroom through there?” I almost wince at how obvious it is that I’m trying not to talk about Thorne any longer.
Clyde is gracious about it and doesn’t let on that he knows. “It is. There’s a small bathroom too. It’s a little cramped but the healers have always stayed here. It’s Red River tradition, I suppose. If you don’t like it, I’m sure Ronan would arrange for other housing.” He gives me an apologetic smile but does motionfor me to follow him down the hallway. “There is a reason though that they stay here.”
“What’s that?”
The Gamma grins at me. “Oh, you’ll see.”
The hallway isn’t long with just two doors leading off of it. The bedroom door is open and I can see the outline of a bed but little else on our way past. The closed door beside that must be the bathroom but that’s not what Clyde is taking me to see. It’s through the back door of the cottage. He opens it and the sound of rain pitter-pattering on a porch roof makes me smile. A night shower must have rolled in while we were talking. There’s a porch out here with enough room for me to sit and enjoy my coffee in the mornings or read in the evenings, but it’s not what Clyde means for me to see either.
It’s the gardens.
In front of us is a sprawling green space that makes me think of Maud’s home. There’s gardens out here, some are in raised beds but I see a patch of land that’s been tilled and planted with what looks like corn and squash. The dark shadows of the mountains rising up at the edge of the backyard create a cozy space at the back of the cottage.
