That name, that name that I didn’t tell Clover to call me but comes so naturally to her and all the wonderful souls that I’ve met since leaving Frostclaw snaps me out of my panic. I look at her and shake my head.
“I-I think the back would be better,” I tell her.
Clover doesn’t get it. “What? No, you’re being formally introduced into the pack. You cannot go to the back.”
Piper frowns and motions for us to follow her. She’s standing in front of a few open seats. “What’s going on? Come on you two.”
Still, I can’t do it. Even though I know they’re right, I’m too scared. It feels like I’m being pushed right off a cliff. My body is in freefall and there’s nothing for me to grab on to stop it. I’m not here with Clover and Piper. I’m not blissfully blending into my new pack anymore. I’m scared. I’m wishing I could disappear into nothing. I’m back at the last moon run meeting and there’s no fixing it.
“I can’t. I’m sorry.” I back away from Clover and Piper and the front of the meeting room as fast as I can. I turn, fully intending to sprint to the back of the room but the second I take a step, I run right into a solid wall of muscle. Hands come to my hips, pine and frost fill my nose and I know it’s him.
“Thorne,” I whisper.
Chapter
Forty-One
THORNE
Cordelia is freaking out. I felt it the second I entered the meeting room. She’d been all right today, nothing like last night when she’d pulled me off patrol and onto her porch. I’m ashamed of that one. No denying that I didn’t even give a second thought to finishing my rounds when I felt her emotions spike.
I’d gone right to her last night and sat there. She’d seen me too. My wolf didn’t mind it, he was glad that she knew we were there. I, on the other hand, wasn't as pleased but there was no fixing it. What was done was done. The entire night was an example of why I couldn’t give into the Soul Tie or the fact that I knew she was my fated mate. If I claimed her, how much worse would it be for me?
My attention, every thought, every fucking breath I took wouldn’t mean a damn thing if I wasn’t with Cordelia. She’d be my sun, moon, and stars, the reason the world stayed in orbit, the sole reason I opened my eyes each morning. There wouldn’t be me, or the duty I had to the pack, just her.
And doesn’t that sound nice? It would be heaven to sink into her, let myself go and just be…but heaven wouldn’t save us if the ferals pushed our boundaries or Moonshadow got up tosomething shady. We’d be fucked then and all because I gave myself to my mate. No, it was best to maintain my distance…even if that distance was on her porch. I hadn’t seen her today, I was too busy with planning the patrol with Lucian. I didn’t like her taking her meals alone or walking to the Healing Rooms on her own but I wouldn’t be here after tonight, not for days. What would I do then? So this was good, it was like practicing before the big separation and oh my hells, what the fuck was I going on about?
The big seperation?
She’s not yours so knock it the fuck off. She’s fine. She’s in pack land, right inside Red River proper. Nothing and no one can get to her without you knowing. She’s safe.It was logical what I was saying, but it didn’t stop me from thinking about her every fucking minute of every hour I wasn’t with her. No matter what I was doing, Cordelia was there at the back of my mind, the ever present phantom haunting my every thought. Seeing as she took up such prime real estate in my brain, it wasn’t hard to spot her in the crowded meeting room at the first spike of fear.
She was with Clover and Piper. The trio were looking for seats together from the looks of it but something was very, very, wrong and I don’t think twice. I go right to my omega. Cut through the pack in a matter of seconds and when she turns to run it's me that she crashes into.
“Thorne.” She sounds shaky, like she’s been running. She lifts her head and looks up at me. “What are you doing here?”
“Came for the meeting,” I tell her while I give her a once over. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Don’t lie to me, omega.”
Cordelia gasps, the hitch in her breath makes me realize that I hit her with the full weight of my alpha Command. Shit. I’m careful with that shit. All alphas have to be. Drop a little toomuch authority into your tone, too much bass, and you’ll wreck an otherwise calm omega. Cordelia reaches out a hand, her touch is light but her eyes…her pupils are blown, eyes glassy, like she’s been drinking.
I move her hand off of me gently. “Tell me what happened,” I say in my most neutral tone.
“I got scared,” Cordelia whispers to me. Over her shoulder I can see Piper and Clover together, they’re watching us but not coming closer. They know whatever is going on right now that I’ve got it.
“Of what?”
“The meeting. I-I thought…”
“You thought what?”
“That if I was at the front something bad was going to happen to me.”
I shouldn’t ask. I know that. She’s not mine. Not yet, but there’s a future where she will be and I can’t stop myself from asking. “Something bad happen before?”
She drops her eyes. “Yes.”
