Mindy instantly brightened and went to unhook him so he could be held. “Glad you could make it. I thought rounds were going to last till midnight at the rate Schuller was moving.”
“It was a team effort.” Clarissa yawned and let Mindy carefully lift Cortland. Due to the delicacy of his abdominal wrappings, very few people were trusted enough to hold him. Mindy, like all NICU nurses, guarded Cortland with an intensity that made most surgeons seem friendly.
“Post-call, I see.” Mindy arranged Cortland in Clarissa’s arms. “Bad night?”
“Not the worst. Two 24-weekers. We’ll see how they do, if they make it through tonight.” Mindy nodded, helping Clarissa arrange Cortland in her arms.
“I try not to get attached until they've made it to 27-weeks. Or if they have a chance.” She was obviously referring to Manifest Destiny on the other side of the room. Mindy had a not-quite stable 26-weeker and a more stable 30-weeker on CPAP rounding out her assignment.
Cortland lit up like his beloved glowworm as he realized he was untethered and out of his crib for snuggles. “Hello there, handsome. Were rounds boring again?”
His answer was a high pitched coo of joy. He was the adorable, responsive, neurologically normal baby surrounded by a sea of infants who were decidedly not. His dark brown eyes captivated her, as did his cheeks, rosy with their hint of green jaundice from his never ending TPN.
“I agree, they were. Anything new with you today?” Peace washed over her by his mere unadulterated joy for simply being given attention.
“No changes. I love him so much. I just can't hold him all the time,” Mindy said, adjusting a monitor on her 26-weeker.
“When are his mom and dad coming back?” Clarissa asked. They didn’t come every day for a myriad of understandable reasons. Three months was a long time when they had other kids at home, and, since Cortland wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon, there wasn’t any critical training they needed to be at the bedside.
It wasn’t easy by any means. Clarissa had seen the mom cry several times, and she could only hold him for a few minutes at a time before her anxiety about the safety of his belly and his PICC line overtook her.
The pressure on her for what appeared to be a low stakes event was heavy. Nothing put a damper on baby cuddling quite the way warnings like ‘don’t smash his organs that are outside of his body’ or ‘without his PICC line he will starve to death’ did.
The nurse sighed. “Probably tonight. Same old same old.”
Poor guy, stuck in purgatory at a time when he should have been sitting up, rolling over, and learning how to eat.
Then again, as he gurgled and waved his little fists at Clarissa, he didn’t know any other world. It broke her heart that any face was a welcome visitor, even for the ten minutes Clarissa could spare.
Possibly twenty minutes. Or thirty minutes. It was her birthday, and she was willing to show up late to noon lecture. Heck, the NICU often got busy to the point that it was amazing anyone on the rotation made it.
“I wish the volunteers could hold him.” Cortland deserved more than she could give him.
“I don't,” Mindy said without a shred of regret. She had, could, would bring down the hammer on any person who wasn’t on the approved ‘hold Cortland’ list.
“Do you want Mr. Glowworm?” Clarissa asked him. Whether the toothless grin response meant he understood was debatable.
“He always wants his bestie.” Mindy passed her the Glowworm, and Clarissa turned it on, making it sing and dance like a puppet to one of its six recorded songs. Good thing it had a charger now that Cortland had figured out how to trigger it with his free left arm.
“You are the best, Cortland.” Clarissa closed her eyes and relaxed into the rocking motion of the chair. His trusting warmth was already the best part of her birthday, letting her banish the other worries and pressures.
What happened would happen, and she was sure she and Roan could come out the other side together.
“Just who I was looking for,” Roan’s voice said from somewhere nearby.
CHAPTER 19
Clarissa paused mid rock to open her eyes. Had she fallen asleep? Because Roan was walking toward her in his usual ‘not a surgery day’ button-down shirt, white coat, and dress pants.
A quick glance at Mindy told her she wasn’t hallucinating. Mindy was startled and stood partway up to both keep Roan from Cortland and read his badge. “Dr. Marin from anesthesia?”
He nodded and said, “I was stopping by to?—”
Mindy turned back to Clarissa, who was trying to keep her face neutral. “Dr. Morgan, our anesthesia consult is here for Cortland’s pre-op eval. I thought they weren’t coming till the week of the surgery.”
“What a surprise,” Clarissa agreed, returning to her rocking.
“Anesthesiology consult?” Roan said, eyes darting between Mindy, Clarissa, and the baby.
