“Deal.” I tossed our cups and we got in line, moving quickly to the front. “You’re scared of heights?”
“Nope,” she shook her head. “I’m scared of falling from great heights.” We got seated, and she turned to face me. “What are you scared of?”
I gave her question serious consideration before I answered. “I don’t know. It might sound cliché, but I guess I’d say I’m scared of failing.”
She nodded, clutching my thigh as the wheel began to move. “Is that why you’re anti-relationship? You don’t want to fail at marriage again?”
“Ouch,” I frowned and put my fist to my chest.
Sela laughed, but there was no amusement in it. “I’m sorry how that came out. What I meant to say is that I’m sorry about your divorce, I’m sure it was hard. Also, divorce isn’t a failure. It’s progress.”
“You think so?”
She shrugged. “I mean, yeah. It takes courage to admit that something isn’t working and doing something about it. Were you scared?”
I shook my head. “No, and I don’t mean that in some heroic way. By the time I realized we were done, I was just angry and ready for it to end.”
“You loved her a lot?”
I shook my head. “No. I mean, I loved her at one time, but her serial cheating made it pretty easy to sever ties permanently. There was no working it out after that.”
She watched me carefully and then turned to the sky as our car reached the top of the wheel. “So you are scared, to love and to trust again. I understand that.”
I wanted to deny it, but her easy acceptance and lack of judgment made it difficult. “Maybe. Is that why you’re gun-shy?”
She nodded. “Bad taste. Bad relationships. Bad men. There’s just one common denominator. Me.” Sela let out a shaky breath and turned her gaze back to me. “But I like you, and that does scare me.”
“Because you think you’re the problem?”
She nodded.
“I don’t think that’s the case, Sela. In fact, I think you’re pretty wonderful.”
She laughed and put her hands to her cheeks before she pointed at me. “There you go, being all likeable.”
“That’s a bad thing?”
“You know it is.”
“Yeah,” I sighed. “But I also know that I like you, Sela. I like spending time with you and seeing the world through your eyes. I also like looking at you and sleeping with you.”
“Same, but I don’t like getting hurt.”
“Me either, but I’m not looking to hurt you. Do you want to hurt me?”
She gasped. “Of course not. To be fair, I don’t think I have what it takes to hurt you, but even if I did, I wouldn’t.” Her gaze was so damn sincere I couldn’t help but believe her.
“You seriously underestimate your appeal, Sela.”
“So what is it that you want, Brock? You want to be my friend? My lover?”
I nodded slowly. “Yes.”
She swallowed hard and then something flickered in her eyes. It could’ve been uncertainty or something else. “Yes as in,” she said but never finished the sentence.
“As in I want to be your friend and your lover. I think the kids call itfriends with benefits.”
She nodded slowly. “And nobody gets hurt?”
