A mother and several young children shuffled up to the desk and Nessie sighed.“That code on the receipt, next to Tubbs' name."That code there?The first six digits are the date, then that's the printer job number, and that's the employee initials who ordered it."
"NS?"
She blinked, yanked the paper back, and frowned."Well, that's wrong.That's me.Nessie Sinclair.But I know I wasn't the one who ran it."
"Um."The other librarian cleared his throat."That was me.I forgot my log-in and you left your swipe card on the desk."
"Clarence," she sighed."For the love of god..."
He shrugged, blushing as Nessie pushed past him to take over checking out the family."I remember seeing you in some movies and onRemember to Breathe," he said to me, blush intensifying."You were awesome in that."
"Oh!Um.Thank you!"It was my turn to blush fiercely."I don't run into a lot of folks who watched that one."
"That's bananas," he breathed, looking up at me with shining eyes.I felt a weird mix of pride and, okay, mostly pride.Maybe a tiny dash of humility, knowing my work had affected someone so positively."Remember to Breathewas amazing.When I came out to my folks, I made them sit there and watch it with me and when we got to the part where your character told his grandparents that he was bi, I hit pause and said, 'So am I' and..."he paused, pressing his hand to his cheeks."Oh, this is so awkward."
"This is amazing," I said, meaning it."Seriously.That movie meant a lot to me, too."And was one of the reasons why Rory had been so adamant about sending me a ton of hetero romcoms, trying toget ahead of the stereotypinganddon't you want to have a wider variety of roles, no one goes to see gay romcoms, Damien.
Ugh.I still needed to call him after all of this,
Clarence's chin wobbled and his eyes started leaking."Sorry, sorry, I promised myself I wouldn't cry!"
"Oh my," Nessie fussed."Let me grab you some tissues, hon!Just a sec!"
As soon as she disappeared into the office behind the counter, Clarence stopped crying."Seriously, the movie is awesome and I really did come out to my folks with it but she wasn't going to tell you jack.He was making copies of insurance stuff, like policies and junk.And the only reason I remember is because he was griping about how slow I was going and how I was wasting paper because the first two pages came out all dark and I had to bin them.The old guy tried to make me sign an NDA."He rolled his eyes, then asked, "Is he really dead?"
I nodded."Super dead.Um, so, you really did like the movie?"My face heated with my insecurity, the words slipping out before I could stop them.
"Oh my god, for sure!"he enthused."And okay this is going to sound like a total stalker thing but I’m wondering if you'd like, come talk at one of our group meet ups sometime?"
"Group?What?"
Nessie was fussing about the messy supply room but sounded closer now.Clarence lowered his voice and rushed, "It's like an unofficial little queer meet up group for some of us here in the Cove and over in Malm's Corner and Fish Head."He shrugged again."It's nothing big, just...you know, being in small towns like this?As friendly as they are, it's not the same as havingcommunity, you know?"
I hesitated, wanting to protest that—I lived in LA!Of course I had no idea!
But I'd grown up on Long Island, in a tiny town where our Pride Parade was...me, pretty much.And in LA, I'd had to mind my image, be careful who I was seen with, what I talked about.Identity politics were alive and well in the industry.If you were going to be out, you had to be the right kind of out, the right kind of gay with the right kind of hobbies, boyfriend, jobs..."Yeah, I know," I admitted quietly."And I'd love to talk with you guys.Um, like...about acting or something?"
Clarence smiled, thrilled, and gave me a bemused, excited shake of the head."No idea.We'll figure it out I guess.Here."He grabbed a bookmark from the display by the checkout kiosk and scribbled on it."My number and email."
I paused, holding the bookmark between us.He’s about the right age, and this isn’t really a huge town...“I don’t suppose you know Anmorata Blue, do you?”
Clarence froze, eyes wide.“Anmorata?Oh my god, has she been bugging you or something?I knew that bitch was desperate but oh my god.”
My heart broke into a gallop.“So is that a yes?”
He rolled his eyes so hard I could see the whites.“Oh, I knowClaire.She’s a piece of work.She’s been dying to break into show business forever.Used to be a pageant kid—you know the sort.I mean, I don’t blame her for that.It was all her stepmom’s thing.But Claire got super into it when we were in high school and decided she was going to be the next big thing until she lost like her fifth pageant in a row.Showed up the first day of senior year all gothed out and insisting we call her Anmorata—it was hernomme de guerreor something,” he huffed.“She was going to be a star, go into the movies because being a pageant kid was harshing her potential.The thing is, she’s not good at it.Acting, I mean.”
I felt a pang of pity for her, even though she was my main suspect.“It takes work.And it’s always different when you’re in an audition and not just showing off for friends.”
“Trust me,” Clarence muttered.“She’s just not good.Thinks she can get a ride to the top because she’s pretty andquirky.She’s been using people to get ahead since she was nineteen, at least.Wait...”His eyes flared wide, lips paring in prurient interest.“Did she, like, try to come on to you or something?Oh mygodshe is so oblivious.Okay you’re not like giving off huge gay vibes but you’re not in the closet atall.Everyone knows!”
“Er, no, no, she didn’t hit on me or anything.I just heard she’d talked to Tubbs.The, um, old guy.The one who wanted something faxed.”
Clarence’s expression bordered on disgust.“He wassucha jerk.Even Anmorata can do better.She’s not going to talk to you though.”
“Ah?”
“She took off with some guy she met at the cocktail party.She worked part time at Deena’s Deals—you know that resale shop on Gull Road?Anyway, Deena’s my aunt and she wassuperpissed whenClairejust no-showed on Monday.”He leaned in, dropping his voice to a conspiratorial whisper.“She ran off with some bro she met at that cocktail party Thursday night.Dub-Tee-Eff!”
