“Nice try,” he called to her.
She meant to respond but was taken aback by the broad smile on his face. Oh, there had been variations of smiles from him in the past. Partial smiles and ghost smiles and wry smiles. But this was an open smile of joy that she hadn’t seen him wear before. She had begun to wonder if he even knew how to smile.
Every time I don’t think he could grow any more handsome, the man surprises me. I cannot imagine how anyone ever thought him a beast. There is such a beauty to his large stature. He wears it awfully well.
“Slow down, Isabel. Isabel! Hold!”
She scrambled as he yanked on her reins. “Oh!”
The two of them rode beside each other, legs brushing against one another, as he pulled her and Lacey to a quick stop. Just up ahead were the trees––including one particularly low branch that would have greeted her very painfully moments later if she hadn’t redirected or stopped.
A loud exhale of surprise caught her. “Ah. I didn’t see that.”
“No, you didn’t. Were you too impressed by my win or was there something in my hair?” Sebastian asked, taking his hand off his reins to fumble with his hat.
“What? Goodness, no. No, I only…” Isabel swallowed and shook her head, not sure what had happened. But it sounded like he hadn’t caught her staring and for that she was grateful. “I was merely distracted by something. But are you certain you won? You hardly passed me by.”
“I did, I assure you. Do you want to race back so I can show you again?”
She bit her lip as though she might suppress a smile. Leaning forward as they still were so close––his hands still handled her reins––she told him, “I trust you’ve won. I think I would enjoy going a little slower now.”
Nodding, he helped the horses redirect to turn back home. “Very well. At least you looked like you were enjoying yourself.”
“Oh, I was,” Isabel said reassuringly. “I haven’t ridden like that in a long time. This was a good idea.”
“I ride most mornings. You’re welcome to join me,” he ventured.
Isabel studied his face and wondered at his nearness. Was he leaning forward too? She tried not to get her hopes up about what this could mean. “Am I?”
“Certainly. Here and in London. I thought we might make our way back next week,” he added. “Parliament will reopen soon, and I want a few days to settle in before the season starts. Would you like to join me?”
“I would, yes.”
“Isabel…” The soft look in his eyes faded gradually. It felt like he was closing the curtains over his soul. There was a cramp in her shoulder as she pulled herself back properly into the saddle, and she wondered how long she had been bent over to be close to him. “You do know that nothing will change, don’t you?”
She blinked. And then again. “Yes, of course.”
“I only mean…” Sebastian hesitated before glancing down at his hands, and offering her the reins. “I want our situation to be clear between us. You deserve that from me.”
Was I even doing anything? Leaning doesn’t mean that much. Not really… does it? To deserve that from him… what if that’s not what I want? Blast it. I don’t know what I want. He leaves me so confused. If only he didn’t do so much to protect me and to keep me company. A distant man would be easier to care less for in time.
“Right.” Isabel spoke flatly. Nudging her horse back toward the house, she said, “I know. There’s nothing between us.”
Sebastian sighed. “That’s not what I mean.”
“I know what you mean. And I’ll come with you to London to be the distant wife to host or do whatever you need. But not right now, because Thomas should be here soon. I promised him that house tour. I’ll see you at supper,” Isabel called over her shoulder as she pushed Lacey quickly toward the stables.
She just needed to get away from him now. Her heart was hurting and she didn’t want him rubbing his disinterest in her face. The man had a knack for ruining anything nice or decent or romantic between them. Eventually, she would stop thinking and feeling this way.
Right now, the best way to do that is to avoid him for a short spell.
CHAPTER 26
Sebastian savored the moment Isabel put her hand in his while she climbed into the carriage. His eyes followed her movements as she methodically fixed her skirts, straightened her sleeves, and settled her hat. She always worked her way up until she felt settled.
Then her eyes moved to him. “Will you join me here for the ride?”
Tempting, it is. She makes it that way. But she would see me much differently should I climb in and suffer an episode after half a day passes and I feel the walls closing in. I couldn’t stand for her to witness such a thing.
