“I’ll arrange it straight away,” he promised.
And so he did. The man kept his word as he left her for only a quarter of an hour before returning, guiding her out a side door and down a quiet hall before reaching the mews where her carriage was waiting.
No one asked after the duke. Isabel was grateful for that. She accepted her brother’s hand into the carriage and requested their ride back to the townhouse, trying to consider what life might be like now without Sebastian at her side.
It will be terribly painful. But it is for the best. I never wish to see him again.
CHAPTER 30
Sebastian had no choice but to request the banking deposit to be sent before sunrise. He spent less than an hour in Dernshire’s nearest study, writing out directions for his steward for the first half of the requested sum.
Though he didn’t spill any ink on his fingers, Sebastian couldn’t have felt any filthier than he did in this moment.
His shoulders nearly shook with rage over what had happened. He couldn’t get the moment out of his head. It couldn’t have lasted for more than a breath. But he had lost Isabel so swiftly, before he even understood what was happening.
Did I even ever have a chance with her?
How many squandered opportunities had he wasted, Sebastian wondered, telling himself it was best to keep her at a distance. It had been for the best. That was the intention. That was what he told everyone, that it was safer no one knew every part of him.He hardly knew himself so why should anyone else? To let Isabel learn all of who he was…
Now, he would never have chance to know otherwise.
“Is my carriage here?” He asked the servant stationed at the side door, sharing a short description of his conveyance.
“I beg your pardon, Your Grace, but it left a short while ago.”
Nodding slowly, Sebastian gazed out into the night. “Very good. Thank you.”
“Shall I call a hansom?”
“No, I think I shall walk this evening.” He started to descend the stairs, heavy and steady footsteps to avoid slipping in the snow and slush.
Alarm sounded in the servant’s voice. “Your Grace? It’s awfully dark. Are you certain I can’t call you…?”
Waving a hand, Sebastian told him, “I’ve been much colder before.” And then he moved on so no one could stop him. After winding his way through a few parked carriages for other guests that evening, he was able to reach the main street and started slowly for home.
He didn’t imagine it being more than a league away. Probably less. It didn’t matter. The skies were clear, and the air was crisp. He wouldn’t freeze, but he would be cold. And perhaps this evening chill would help him think a little more clearly.
Then he stopped in the middle of the road as he glanced around at the familiar road. How many times had he wandered through a cold night like this, looking for an odd coin or leftover food he could scrounge for?
That was usually what Sebastian thought of during these long walks.
But tonight was different. He remembered the night he met her.
“My lady? Are you well?” That was the first thing he could actually say to Isabel while removing the ghastly fellow who dared encroach upon her. He had listened to her screams and shouting, he had watched her fight bravely, and then he had carried her home when it was all over.
Her maid had hovered most of the time. “I don’t know who you are,” he recalled her saying. “But I am very glad of your assistance to protect my mistress.”
Through a few circular questions, Sebastian had hedged through the topic to gather the understanding that the young lady in yellow had fallen upon hard times. So he had done what he could. And when the day broke so the newspapers went out, he was already prepared should the expected problems arise.
I was almost glad of it. Glad to take her in hand, to be there for her. I always promised I would protect her… Now what have I done?
He could beg and steal and fight for food and money. But when it came to people, Sebastian feared he didn’t know how to keep them. It was too easy for them to turn their back on him.
It was a slow walk back to the town house. By the time Sebastian arrived, he was soaked to the bone from the damp evening. He couldn’t feel his toes any longer. With a key in his pocket, he unlocked the front door and slowly pulled off the shoes and coat and hat in the darkness.
A flicker of light from the corner revealed a servant, his valet. Young Tony came striding forward without his usual frown.
Sebastian sighed. “The duchess?”
