“How long have you known about this?” I demanded.
“I just found out about it a few days ago.”
“Ash knows.”
She nodded.
“Sasha,” I said slowly. “He knows.Of course,he does. Was he the first to know?”
“Yes.”
“How was he the first to know? Why was he the first to know?”
“He was the one who was with me when I had my first seizure,” she said plainly. “He was the one who took me to the hospital so I could get an MRI.”
“Barrett,” I whispered.
“Don’t be mad at Sasha,” she begged. “I asked him to keep my confidence. Even from Flynn…”
My eyes widened in shock. “Flynn doesn’t know?”
“I went to London to tell him but then—”
“The bomb.”
“Yes.”
“So, he doesn’t know?”
“Not yet.”
“God, Barrett—”
“No guilt. I don’t need your guilt. I’ll tell Flynn, but it’s not the right time.”
“Like hell it’s not. The right time isnow.When do you go in for surgery?”
She blinked once, twice, three times, and remained silent.
“You’re not having surgery,” I concluded.
“I don’t think so.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah, I’m serious. I’ve already explained this to Ash,” she muttered.
“Well explain it to me, because I don’t get it.”
“Let’s say I have the surgery. Let’s say they don’t completely fuck it all up and I survive with my personality intact—oh, did I forget to mention that the tumor is growing in the part of my brain that makes me,me? And that surgery might affect who I am?”
“You didn’t mention that, no,” I said glumly.
“Right. So, let’s say I survive intact, and I’m still me. It’s not just surgery. It’s chemo and radiation or drug therapies if that doesn’t work. It’s watching my children grow while I’m stuck in bed fighting for my life, barely able to do anything. And at the end of it, instead of spending my last remaining months loving my children and husband, I die anyway. What’s the point, Quinn?”
“Point? What’s the point? The point is to fight to live. Fight to survive.”
“None of you understand.”
