“Am I crying?” I hastily wiped my cheeks.
Noah nodded.
“I’m hurt,” I said. It was technically the truth.
“Where?” Hawk asked. “Can I kiss it and make it better?”
I smiled and nodded. “Here.” I pointed to my knee
Hawk leaned over and gently kissed the tender spot.
“Anywhere else?” Noah asked.
I touched my right knee.
“You already said that hurt,” Hawk reminded me.
“It hurts a lot,” I said, my smile wobbling. “It needs a lot of kisses from you to make it better.”
Ash made a choked sound, but she trapped it in her throat. Her own emotions were clearly demanding to be let out, but because she was an adult, a mother, like me, we put our feelings aside, or mashed them down to put on a brave face.
She turned away and focused on getting Carys out of her floatie and then stripped her out of her bathing suit before wrapping her in a towel.
I glanced at Quinn, who’d backed up enough to give my boys room to crowd me. She looked somber. Everything she wanted to say reflected in her eyes.
I shook my head ever so slightly and then turned my attention back to my boys.
“How do you guys feel about going home?” I asked them.
“Aye,” Hawk said, sounding just like his father. “I miss home.”
“Me too,” Iain said.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Quinn voiced, her tone full of concern.
“It’s a great idea,” I assured her with a smile. “I’ve got the nannies to help me with everything I need.”
I raised my eyebrows at her, as if daring her to continue.
She clamped her mouth shut. Reluctantly, Ash nodded, but then she shot Quinn a look. Quinn shrugged, as if silently sayingBarrett’s going to do what Barrett’s going to do.
I didn’t have control over a lot of things. The tumor rooted in my brain would kill me; it would wring every drop of my life from me. But I had control over how I chose to spend the last few months I had on this earth. And that included sleeping in my own bed when I wanted to, making love to my husband every chance I got, and getting my affairs in order.
I struggled to stand, but then Iain and Noah clasped my free hands with theirs, steadying me. I looked at my children, my beautiful boys who were made in Flynn’s image.
“Let’s go home.”
* * *
“I don’t like this,” Ash said, hugging me to her.
“I know.” I pulled back. “But I can’t have you watching me every moment like you expect me to…detonate.”
She winced. “You make it sound like you’re a ticking time bomb. And haven’t we had enough of bombs?”
I sighed and then turned to Quinn. “Are you going to give me shit about going home?”
Quinn shook her head. “I know there’s no point in trying to talk you out of something once you’ve made up your mind.”
