“And what am I supposed to sound like?”
“I don’t know. You’re Barrett.”
“What the hell does that mean? Is this about my maternal side?”
“No.” Ash shook her head. “It’s just—your boys are potty trained, they’re in school, they have nannies, and are starting to find their own interests and activities. You kind of have your life back, a bit, you know? You could do something else with all your free time. Get back into history. Hell, you could teach Scottish history. It’s what you were going for when—”
“When my brother changed the course of my entire life and I fell into Flynn’s nefarious clutches?”
“Well, yeah. You finally have the chance to focus on yourself again. New avenues. Old avenues. Whatever… I mean, I’m kind of with Flynn on this one. I don’t understand.”
“I don’tneedyou to understand,” I said in exasperation. “I need you to support me.”
“Okay, I support you.” She paused. “Will you push Flynn to do this?”
“No. I won’t push Flynn.”
“He’ll come around. Flynn has never been able to deny you anything.”
“Maybe.” I frowned. “I can’t—no, Iwon’tback him into a corner. If he doesn’t want another baby, I won’t resent him for it.”
“Just as easy as that, huh? You won’t resent him for not giving you what you need?”
I faced her and took a sip of wine. “He doesn’t resent me for my relationship with Sasha.”
“But there’s nothing between you and Sasha now except deep friendship,” she pointed out.
“Still, if the shoe were on the other foot and there was a woman in Flynn’s life, a woman he was as close to as I am to Sasha, I don’t think I’d be as understanding.”
“Marriage isn’t about keeping score.”
“No?”
She shook her head. “No. Otherwise, Duncan could’ve held a lot of things against me, but he hasn’t.”
“How do you know?” I inquired. “How do you know he hasn’t held anything against you?”
“Blind faith.”
“Blind delusion, you mean?” I laughed, but it sounded sardonic.
“Are you happy?” she asked bluntly.
“Happy,” I repeated. “Right now? Yes.”
“Are you sure?”
“But there’s this feeling ofmore. Like, purpose or something. I’m dying for a purpose.”
“Children, though a blessing, are not your sole reason for living. You can’t look to them to fill that space inside of you. They’ll grow up and move away. They’ll form their own lives, and then where will you be?”
I frowned into my glass and then tossed back the rest of my wine.
She studied me for a long moment and then asked, “Another bottle?”
I grinned, forcing the moment to be light when I felt anything but. “Do you even have to ask?”
Chapter5
