“She paws at the door when she has to go out,” he said. “She wakes me up and I let her outside.”
“So, then this isn’t the first time she’s slept in your room, is it?” I demanded.
He yawned.
“Hawk.”
“No.” He sighed. “This isn’t the first time.”
“The nannies,” I said in realization. “They’ve been covering for you, getting rid of the smell, haven’t they?”
“Don’t be mad at them.”
“I’m not mad. I’m impressed.” My first born was going to leave a trail of broken hearts across Scotland. I just knew it. He was only seven years old and already he had grown women wrapped around his little finger, willing to risk their jobs to keep him happy.
I scratched Betty’s head and she leaned into my touch. After she’d had enough, she settled down at Hawk’s back, nuzzling her face against the covers. I kissed Hawk’s forehead and couldn’t help the smile that stretched across my face.
I closed the door and then quietly trekked downstairs. Flynn was already half-way done with his meal.
“Sorry I didn’t wait for you,” he said. “What took you so long?”
“Your son snuck a sheep up to his bedroom and I had to pretend to be upset about it.”
“I told you that sheep would be nothing but trouble.”
“Then you go up and put a stop to it. Hawk says Betty keeps his nightmares at bay.”
He took a sip of his wine. “Do you ever think—”
“That Hawk is smarter and more manipulative than all of us, and he deigns to let us take care of him? Yeah. I do.”
* * *
“Okay,” I said pouring boiling water into two mugs. “Let’s hear it.”
“Hear what?” Ash asked.
“How I ran off like a teenager and didn’t tell anyone.” I stirred in honey and then plopped a tea bag into each of the cups and then brought them to the kitchen table.
Her children were napping upstairs, and we had the baby monitor turned up so we could keep an ear out. Our husbands and my boys were in the process of finding our Christmas trees. A Campbell-Buchanan tradition.
“No. I’m not going to give you shit about running away like a teenager. You needed to get your head screwed on straight. So, did you? Get it screwed on straight?”
“I think so,” I replied.
“I won’t berate you, but I’ll fully admit I’m curious as hell about what made you run. It wasn’t just about the anniversary of Igor’s death, was it?”
I looked at her in shock.
She snorted. “Please. I know it was more than just that. I mean, that’s an issue all by itself. But what compounded it? The wanting of another baby?”
I finally told her about my miscarriage and the guilt I had been experiencing since it happened.
“So his vasectomy failed,” she said.
I nodded. “I’ve been on birth control to prevent it from happening again.”
Ash was silent for a long time and then she said, “You’ve been keeping that to yourself all this time. Why?”
