“Lord, protect my young man,” Eli’s mother said under her breath before meeting Noelle’s gaze squarely. “And you… Noelle, dear, you look worn out. Can I get you anything? Food? Coffee? A quiet room with a pillow and blanket?”
Noelle chuckled, even as moisture filled her eyes. “All of the above. And…the last thirteen years back to do over again the right way?”
Sasha squared her shoulders and took hold of Noelle’s hands. “Oh, my dearest. I wish I could do that for you. But the important thing is, whatever you wish you could change about the past can still be a lesson for today. Go forward living the way you want the next thirteen years to unfold, whatever that involves. Forgive whoever needs forgiving. Love whoever needs loving. Change whatever needs changing.”
Noelle, her throat too tight with unshed tears to speak, nodded hard. She flung herself into Sasha’s arms and clung to the woman who’d been a better mother to her in a few days than her birth and adoptive mothers had been her whole life. And in the woman’s comforting arms, she felt optimistic about the future for the first time in far, far too long.
Noelle didn’t hear from Eli that night or for most of the next two days. She rattled around his empty house, feeling like an intruder. She began to worry that something had gone awry with the hunt for Montgomery—or her relationship with Eli—that the Coltons were keeping from her.
She’d checked in with Kansas, Sasha and Asher on a regular basis over the last fifty-six hours and was assured Eli was fine, just busy upstate with the search. Noelle wasn’t convinced that was all there was behind his ghosting her. Was he staying away, knowing she was in his house?
She thought about the grim expression he’d worn in Scott’s cabin as they’d warmed themselves by the fire. Hetty had tried to absolve Noelle of any fault for the way things had unfolded. But she couldn’t help but feel a dark, angry vibe from Eli.
She was sure he blamed her for Scott’s escape, no matter how he’d dismissed her explanations. The dour slash of his mouth as he contemplated Scott’s getaway hadn’t eased for a moment. Even her admission of wrong regarding their past had yielded a heavily lined brow and a querulous expression.
Was she too late in recognizing the error of her ways? The notion sat heavily on her chest. Not even Sasha’s and Kansas’s reassurances could lift her from the funk that hung over her, waiting for Eli’s return to Shelby and time alone with him to make amends.
During the same two-plus dreary days, however, shedidhear from both the interim coroner appointed to take Scott’s place and the funeral home director. Both men reported to her that Allison’s body had finally been released for burial. The funeral could be held in the next day or two. Afterward, Noelle would have no excuse not to go home to Seattle.
Though she’d finally have closure on that front, she longed for the chance to talk with Eli and set things right with him.
When she still hadn’t heard from Eli by the evening of the second full day back in Shelby, she packed her few belongings and moved to a small motel room near her former hostel. Noelle had heard from Sasha that Eli had returned to Shelby just hours after she’d vacated his house, but he’d continued his radio silence. Telling, Noelle decided.
The next day, the day of the funeral, she donned the dress she’d packed more than two weeks earlier, thinking she’d only be in Shelby for a couple of days, and prepared her suitcase to leave. As she checked out of the motel, she put her bag in the rental car, ready to drive to the Anchorage airport that afternoon after the funeral. She’d booked a seat for the red-eye back to Seattle for that evening.
Holding her head high and bracing for the likelihood of another confrontation with Aunt Jean and Uncle Clyde, Noelle drove to the small church where she’d arranged the funeral service. When she arrived, she was stunned to see a large number of vehicles in the church parking lot. She dismissed her surprise, reminding herself Allison likely had many friends, and the funeral home had printed the funeral announcement in the Anchorage paper.
Taking a deep breath and smoothing her skirt, she made her way into the church’s chapel, where her second surprise of the day awaited her.
The crowd assembled for Allison’s funeral was overwhelmingly comprised of Coltons. She blinked as her gaze drifted from face to face—Lakin, Troy, Mitchell, Dove, Kansas, Parker, Sasha and Will—and on and on. Row after row. A show of family support unlike anything she could have ever imagined. Even Asher had come. Her eyes filled with tears, and a bittersweet stab of longing pierced her chest. Because the one face missing was Eli’s.
In the front row, Kansas waved to her, indicating the empty seat she’d saved for Noelle. Walking numbly to the pew, she glanced at the coffin, draped with a simple but lovely flower arrangement.Oh, Allison! I’m so sorry for what you suffered because of Scott.
Noelle sat beside Eli’s cousin and dabbed at her damp cheeks and runny nose with her gloved hand.
Kansas pulled several tissues from a box printed with the funeral home’s logo and handed them to her. “We wanted you to know you’re not alone today. We care about you.”
“Thank you. You can’t possibly know what this means to me.” Noelle forced a tremulous smile, belatedly realizing how difficult it must be for Kansas to be there, knowing Scott had killed his victims due to his twisted obsession with her. One more reason to respect and admire Kansas.
As they settled in for the service, Kansas put a reassuring arm around Noelle and gave her shoulder a squeeze. The warbly music of a small electric organ played, signaling the start of the service, and the minister walked out from a door beside the choir loft.
“Dearly beloved, thank you all for joining us today as we remember Allison—”
The door at the back of the chapel thunked as a late arrival entered. Noelle was blowing her nose and gathering hercomposure when the latecomer settled into the seat beside her. She glanced up, and her heart jolted.
Eli.
The minister continued, but Noelle only half heard the words spoken as she studied the man sitting beside her. He gave her a tepid smile, before facing the pulpit, more evidence of his pique with her, and she worked to hide her disappointment.
He smelled good. Of pine and ocean and frosty air, as if the very essence of Alaska had been bottled just for him. His cheeks showed raw spots where he’d clearly just shaved and nicked himself, and his hair was still damp from a shower. He wore a well-tailored dark blue suit that fit him perfectly and emphasized his broad shoulders and lean physique.
But for all his fine features, she saw signs of fatigue and worry and wear. His eyes were shot with red, as if he hadn’t slept. Tiny lines radiated from the corners of his mouth and smudges of blue-black shadowed beneath his eyes. His lips were chapped and peeling, and his cheeks and nose bore witness to time in the winter sun and bracing wind. Most telling to her was the sag of his posture. He seemed beaten down. Worn out. Defeated. And her heart ached for him.
Turning her attention back to the service, Noelle restlessly twisted the clean tissue in her hands…until Eli’s hand covered hers. He laced his fingers with hers. Squeezed. Noelle cut a quick look to him, and with his face inscrutable, he gave her a small nod.
She held tight to his hand, her heart breaking, as the minister said a prayer, eulogized Allison and led the congregation in a closing hymn. When the funeral director motioned for Noelle to follow the casket out as it was wheeled to the waiting hearse, she refused to let go of Eli’s hand. Instead she tugged him from his seat. Snagging both his coat and hers from the pew, he fell in step next to her.
Once outside, while the casket was loaded for the drive to the cemetery, Eli helped her into her coat, then wrapped Noelle in his embrace.
