My chest instantly feels like a hundred pound weight rests on it at the thought of his death. I press my palm over my heart, as if I can calm its racing pace with the touch. Closing my eyes as I recall Anshar's apology and my final moments with Ash, my eyes burn with tears pricking at the corners of my eyes, threatening to fall.
I bite down on my lip harshly in an attempt to keep them at bay, but it’s useless. They spill down my cheeks in twin streams of sorrow as I clench my fists at my sides.
How many more people can life take away from me before I can no longer hold the weight of my grief?
Thinking of my people in the fae realm, I briefly worry that we left them behind in the midst of their battle. Serenity’s promise to make sure they were taken care of soothes the worry immediately.
I know she won’t let me or my people down.
Hale, Luke, Leo, and Zedd pop into my mind, alongside Ash. How will we continue to live and fight this battle against Erebus and his minions? I know that their pain over losing their brother is just as strong as my pain of losing a mate.
Our family is broken.
As if they can sense my thoughts, the large door at the far end of the room cracks open ever so slightly and hushed whispers float toward me.
"We need to let her rest."
"She can rest while I watch her."
"Do you realize how creepy that sounds?"
The twins.Goddess, how I've missed them.
They have always been my life rafts in the dark times, and right now I need them more than ever to stay afloat.
Pushing down the white sheets that cover me, I take a moment to roll the material of my white nightgown between my fingers, as it's softer than anything I've ever felt before.
At the sound of my movement, the whispers stop abruptly and the door flies open, revealing the twins staring at me with open mouths and wide eyes. They're clothed in simple white linen pants and shirts.
"Sugar Britches!" Luke exclaims before running over to the bed and hopping into it with me, scooping me up to rest on top of him in one fluid movement.
My head is instantly cradled in the crook of his shoulder and neck as his arms engulf me, pulling me snugly against his front. Taking a deep breath, I allow myself to relax into his salty, ocean scent for just a moment, trying to forget the pain that riddles my heart.
Wait, why didn't Leo get into bed too?
Pushing away from Luke, I drop a soft kiss to his lips before I tilt my head to the side. I see Leo standing in the doorway, leaning against it with his arms crossed. Our eyes lock, and his hungry gaze leaves me breathless, "Leo?" I whisper.
He pushes off of the door frame and prowls toward me. Running a hand through his short blonde locks, he sighs deeply and clenches a fist at his side as he halts next to the bed.
A tick runs through his jaw, and I sit up fully to take him in. An overwhelming wave of heat consumes me, and I know he is the source of it. I just can't interpret what emotions are driving his powers to flare right now.
His eyes dance with desire, but his body language screams anger.
"I want nothing more than to whisper sweet nothings to you as I bring you to the peak of pleasure over and over again, but now that you are here and out of danger, I can't stop thinking about how you just left us." His voice hitches on his last word and he glances down, breaking eye contact. "You abandoned us," he whispers, breaking me instantly.
I'm the first to admit that I might not handle every situation correctly, and I'm definitely not always rational. But dammit, I'd done what I had to in order to protect them at the time—or so I'd thought. Instead, it seems I only succeeded in hurting them in other ways, by opening the old wounds of abandonment that had been their birth mother's parting gift in this life.
I struggle to find how to explain my intentions, so instead I crawl off of Luke and toward Leo. Sitting up on my knees, I'm almost eye level with him as I reach out to caress his lightly stubbled jaw. He leans into my touch, and his eyes flutter closed as the heat pouring off of him subsides.
Grabbing his face with both palms now, I pull his head down gently so I can kiss him. For a moment, I fear that he'll deny me, but he instantly melts into my touch and kisses me back with a ferocity that leaves me breathless.
He pulls back, and I let my emotions fill my voice as I say the only two words that I can think of, "I'm sorry." His blue eyes soften.
His shoulders visibly drop, and I'm yanked into a tight embrace as his breath tickles my ear with his next words. "Don't ever do that again. We're a family. We make decisions together."
At the mention of our family, I crumble in his arms. We've lost too many members of our family.
The dam breaks as hot tears track down my face, and sobs instantly wrack my body. His arms tighten around me, giving me the strength I need.
