I moved on instinct, raising onto my tiptoes to seal my lips to his, craving the feeling of his touch as much as I craved his emotional intensity. I melted into him and greedily deepened the kiss when his arms enveloped me before he tipped me back with a firm hand resting above my ass. While we had kissed before, something about this moment felt so much more special to me.
As I thought deeper on it, I came to the realization that this was the first moment I gave Drake all of me without reservations. He was deserving of my trust, and I was damn proud of myself for not allowing the hiccup with Andrei to detract from what I was building with Drake because it was pretty damn special.
Without a doubt, we had obstacles to work through, but I knew by everything we’d gone through so far that Drake would stand by my side as we figured it out.
That damn dimple made an appearance as he pulled back to answer my question. “I don’t have a handbook as much as I’d kill for one, but that’s why the Fates put us together as mates,Comoara.We complement each other’s souls and give the other what they need as naturally as we breathe air.”
Without giving me a moment to do anything more than smile, his face descended toward mine once more. Peppering small kisses along my cheeks, he made me giggle from the way his trimmed beard tickled my skin. As he straightened us to stand once more, my smile deepened into a full grin as he trailed his hands down to squeeze my arms lightly. His bright blue eyes seemed to be staring into what felt like the deepest part of myself that even I struggled to connect with.
I didn’t flinch away from it, though.
No part of me wanted to run at the invasive look. I simply stared back, hoping that he could see me for me, without me having to announce all of my fears, traumas, and insecurities.
I wanted him to see me.
I wanted him to understand me.
I wanted him to know exactly what he was tying himself to before we decided to complete our bond.
I wanted to know that he’d see it all and accept me…flaws and all.
Somehow, I’d convinced myself that if he did see and understand all of me, he would run. I felt the same about each of my mates, which is why I struggled to let my walls down and utter the truth from my own mouth.
It boiled down to me spending my entire life feeling I was inadequate to the slayers and my House. I’d never wanted to stick to their traditions and just accept my fate. I pushed back where I could, but ultimately, I would have had to fall in line and accept the role that I was born into. I would have never been trusted to run our faction if I’d shown the real me, and I would have disgraced my entire family—the slayers would have chosen a new House to rule, with me being the only heir to the Van Helsing.
Somewhere along the line, I’d convinced myself that I truly wasn’t good enough as I was, and what had occurred with my family the last night I was in our territory…It had cemented that feeling as a fact, and now I couldn’t break free of it.
Drake’s hand came up to cradle my cheek, and I found myself instantly leaning into it, craving the support I felt from every little touch he gave me.
“You’re so strong, Alina,” he murmured, brushing his thumb against my skin lightly. “I see the pain that lingers in your eyes and the weight of the world you seem to carry on your shoulders. I admire the way you fight every day and refuse to bend when the average person would have caved.”
My breath caught in my throat, and my eyes pricked with tears. I wanted to brush them away, hating how emotional I looked, but he blocked my hand as I moved. Grabbing my hand tightly in his, he brought it back down to my side as his lips moved to kiss a stray tear that had rolled down my cheek.
“Do not ever hide your tears from me,” he commanded between kisses, alternating to my other cheek. “Your tears are my tears. Your fears are my fears. We are a team now. We lose together and win together. Every little thing in between is ours to carry the weight of together.”
I sniffled as I nodded my head, lifting my chin to stare up at him as he pulled back. More tears fell down my cheeks, but I didn’t feel ashamed this time. I felt the conviction and truth in every word that fell from his plush lips. My heart slammed in my chest, loud and erratic as his words washed over me.
He was saying everything I wanted—no, needed—him to say.
Moving his hand from my cheek to grip my chin lightly, his eyes danced around my face before he whispered, “You’ve never looked more beautiful,Comoara. Thank you for letting me see you.”
My body was on fire, a need roaring through me that I ached to satiate immediately. Every one of my nerve-endings felt like it was tingling as my tears subsided, and I let my desire bleed into my gaze.
I wanted him—now.
Chapter3
ALINA
Agrumble of appreciation came from his throat as his eyes dropped to my heaving chest. He let go of my chin to run his hand through his dark hair roughly, pulling on the roots as he shook his head. “Darling, I know exactly what you want, but I cannot continue a single moment longer without knowing what happened out there. It is eating me up alive inside.”
Dammit Lincoln always let me push the issues to the side when I wanted his touch. We were the most similar in the way we reacted impulsively, seemingly coping in similar manners. I should have known that Drake wouldn’t do the same. Every move he made seemed so controlled, as if he had an actual grip on not letting his emotions fuel his actions completely.
Logic? I didn’t know her.
The thought of Lincoln dropped my heart into my stomach. I missed him deeply.
I found myself craving his presence during my turmoil with Andrei, knowing he’d let me bury the pain while we devoured each other. Maybe it was for the best that Drake wasn’t letting me get away with that shit, though. I wasn’t sure how I would tell him what happened with Andrei, knowing how volatile their own relationship was. As bad as that might be, I knew the bigger bomb would be telling Lincoln that I was going to explore this with Drake openly now.
