Until you.
The words repeat in my mind, soft and haunting, and a piece inside me gives way beneath them.
It’s not just what he said–it’s how he said it. With quiet conviction and reverent fear, as if wanting me is the most dangerous thing he’s ever done, yet he'd choose me again and again, even knowing that.
My heart stumbles, then quickens.
I don’t even realize I’ve pulled him closer until my fingers curl into the collar of his shirt, tugging him against my body and erasing any distance between us.
His eyes widen before his restraint crumbles, and suddenly both of his hands are on my face and we move toward each other at the same time.
His mouth crashes into mine with the kind of hunger that steals all breath and thought. One hand buries in my hair, angling my head back to deepen the kiss, the other finding the small of my back, pressing me into his body further.
I gasp into him, and he takes it, swallowing the sound with a low groan that vibrates through his chest.
His lips are soft, though the way he kisses me is anything but.
There’s no hesitation or soft patience as I learn how to do this for the first time–only a hunger that consumes me.
I grip the front of his shirt, the fabric bunching between my fingers. I feel the press of his chest against mine, the rapid thud of his heart, a perfect mirror of my own, and the press of his thigh as it slots between mine.
His fangs graze my lips, not enough to pierce, just enough to remind me what he is.
It doesn’t frighten me…it makes the ache growing in my core expand rapidly.
The hand on my back slides lower to cup the curve of my ass, dragging me closer still until there’s no space left between us, no air to breathe that doesn’t come from him.
I don’t know how long we stay like this, but when he finally pulls back, his forehead rests against mine, breath heavy and uneven.
“I wasn’t planning on that,” he murmurs, voice hoarse with need still. “But a part of me needed it to know I’m not alone in this aching need I feel for you.”
My lips are swollen, my chest rising and falling in a panting rhythm.
“I needed it too,” I whisper, and I mean it.
Not just the kiss, but the feeling of being fought for. I know in my heart that if I ever woke up with no memory again, that there’s nothing in this world that would keep him from finding me.
It heals the jagged piece of me that I’ve tried to silence–the thought that no one seems to be fighting to find me, as if no one cares for me in this world.
It’s a thread of thought that pulls deeply at the center of my chest, because it isn’t only him that I know with certainty would fight to find me.
Sylvin surfaces in my mind, his smirk a mask that never quite hides the depth behind his eyes now that I’ve seen the real him. The way he defended me before the Spring Court wasn’t strategy or politics–it was personal. A choice made from loyalty. The sorrowbehind his charm when I told him I didn’t belong to the courts. The weight of falling apart at our breakfast and being seen for exactly who I was at that moment and beingwantedanyway.
And Torryn…the way he held me at night without us needing to speak to fill the silence. How his warmth steadied me when I felt like the earth was against me. He never asked or demanded anything of me, but still made it clear he would offer everything he had if I just reached for it. There’s safety in him that feels familiar, like he knew me before I even knew myself.
Even Azyric lingers in the corners of my thoughts, his silence louder than most words. He hasn’t offered tenderness, not like the others, but his shadows still coil in my mind like a whisper I can’t ignore. He doesn’t trust me, but he watches me like someone waiting for proof he wants desperately to believe. A part of me aches for the moment his distance might become something more.
The realization swells in my chest before I can stop it.
I want them all.
Not out of indecision or confusion, but because some deep part of me recognizes each of them. Different pieces, different needs, all shaping something larger than I can begin to understand right now.
I don’t know what to do with that acceptance growing within me.
I’ve been grasping so tightly to finding my duty and purpose in this world, but I’m beginning to see a new path that threads in what Iwant.
For the first time since waking, I think I might reach out and take it.
