I couldn’t remember a time in my life when I’d giggled before meeting Theo. It was absurd to think about. I felt like a child with a crush, yet we were already married. Perhaps that was for the best, though, because for some reason, I suspected Theo wouldn’t know what to do with a courting period if it smacked him in the face.
Kaida nipped at the air in front of Theo’s hand, testing his boundaries. To the latter’s credit, he didn’t flinch, standing his ground with clenched fists.
I couldn’t wait for Kaida and me to be able to mindspeak, so we could secretly push Theo’s buttons together. Glee filled me at the thought of the antics we’d get into. While I felt we had a good read on each other’s emotions and needs after a month together, I was eager for him to reach the age where he could reach out and speak to me. I’d quickly learned that as a hatchling, the only person a dragon could communicate with was their mother, but even then, it was with images and not words. Soon, though, he would be able to have short conversations with me. As he grew,so would his energy and strength to focus on the bond for longer ones.
“If you want me to carry you on this journey, you will listen to your queen and behave. Am I understood? I will not be turning back if you fall off and get lost.”
My mouth opened to argue, but Theo eased into my mind.“Wench, I don’t actually mean that. Of course we would find him, but he needs to understand the rules are in place for a reason, to keep him safe.”
Kaida’s head craned around as he widened those big eyes at me. He knew exactly what to do to get me to fold. I pursed my lips, wanting to cave to whatever my little guy wanted, but I knew Theo was right. Much to my chagrin.
I crossed my arms against my chest. “He is right, Kaida. You need to be a good boy and stay right next to me once we find a spot for you to be strapped in.”
His head bobbed up and down before he let out a trill and sat back on his hind legs, waiting patiently now. I crossed over to him and rubbed his chin as the wind rushed into the alcove, whipping my hair around. A rumble of contentment sounded as he dropped his chin further into my hand, as if I could hold the weight of it up. I let out a grunt at the sudden shift.
“We need to get going while the current is still on our side,” Theo warned as I chuckled and pressed a kiss to Kaida’s cheek. “The flight will be relatively quick, as long as Kaida cooperates.”
He was right. Enough time had passed this morning already, with his quick trip back to his castle to deliver my letter to Lucius for my friends that assured them I was fine and to please return home. While I’d wanted nothing more than to see them myself, I feared I wouldn’t leave them if I did. Despite falling into a sense of routine with Theo and Kaida, and being accepted as dragon kin, my heart still yearned for my loved ones from my life before.
Was there a world in which I could have both?
My hand fell to the hilt of the new sword strapped to my side, one that Theo had brought back for me. A comforting sense of peace filled me at the familiar sensation. It had been too long since I’d held a blade, and it meant more to me than I could put into words that he’d truly listened when I spoke of my love of it during our training sessions. I might not have the best hand-to-hand combat skills, but with this, I knew I could offer some form of protection for us.
Kaida began to hop around, his few minutes of behaving quickly over with. I couldn’t blame him. This had to be incredibly exciting, to finally see life outside of the caves, and I was eager to watch him take in the world, but my lips pursed over the current dilemma ruminating in my head.
I hadn’t quite figured out exactly how we were going to anchor him onto Theo, but we’d have to figure it out once he shifted. If Kaida felt the air catch his wings, he would likely take off.
My eyes fell to the supply sack at Theo’s feet, and I arched a brow. “Do you still have a ridiculous amount of rope on you, by chance?”
We’d each had our own and I’d never needed to look at his, but a sneaking suspicion told me he might.
He grinned as he bent over to lift it open. “Why? Are you wanting me to tie you up and do nasty?—”
“Theo!” I snapped, cutting him off with wide eyes glancing between him and Kaida. “Not in front of the baby!”
He stretched back up as my cheeks flushed with heat, thinking of his words. The rope dangled from his hand and my mind drifted to the ways we could utilize it in a manner I would actually like. At least in comparison to our previous experience.
“Kids really ruin everything,” he sighed, walking over to us and extending the rope for me to take. As my hand wrapped around it, he tugged me in toward his chest, wrapping his armaround my lower back. “I haven’t even gotten a kiss today, wench. Don’t tell me you regret what happened yesterday.”
There was an open vulnerability in his tone that shocked me, despite his overall joking demeanor.
My head shook in response. “No, I don’t regret it at all, I just…” I stumbled, drawing my bottom lip between my teeth as I sought the words to explain the roiling mess of emotions I was still sifting through myself.
How did I feel? If I was being honest with myself, all day a nervous energy had buzzed through me anytime the thought of initiating physical contact with him came to mind. At the end of our conversation last night, we agreed to merely take things as they come, but after spending a month fighting our feelings, it felt strange to just…let that go?
His forehead dropped to rest against mine as he murmured, “I was only joking. There’s no pressure to give me physical intimacy, Sia.”
My hands rose to rub against his arms as I took a deep breath. I was so in my head about all of this and here he was, being sweet and merely wanting affection. It was exactly what I should have wanted from him, considering I’d been so scared to wake up today and see if he would be back to the familiar hot and cold dynamic I’d grown accustomed to over the weeks spent with him in our alcove.
I’d laid awake for a majority of the night, my mind running through scenarios of all the reasons that I shouldn’t continue forward with Theo. The main one that haunted my mind was the thought of him having a mate somewhere out there that wasn’t me. I didn’t want to truly open up to him, body and heart, just to have him ripped from me if he found that person.
Warmth covered my cheek as his hand rose to cup it, and my eyes fluttered shut. I’d never been in love in my life, and thedraw I had to this stubborn dragon made me think that we could get there one day.
“I’m scared,” I admitted on a heavy exhale, deciding to keep my eyes shut, finding it easier to get the words out this way. “I’m scared to truly give this a chance and find out in the end that you’ll be ripped away from me by your mate, or that you’ll realize you don’t actually want this.”
“Open your eyes.”
The soft demand had me caving, and I found myself wanting to hide away as he pulled back to stare deeply into my eyes. It was odd, being so open with my vulnerabilities, when just yesterday morning we couldn’t even have a normal conversation. While we were taking things slow physically, it somehow felt like the emotional journey was on an expedited course in my heart.
