She blinked. Given his excellent finances, she doubted he would even notice such a paltry sum, and certainly could not imagine why he felt compelled to mention his good fortune to her. “I see. That sounds lovely.”
“I hope so,” he said. “I’m giving it to you.”
“You…what?” She stared at him. “Why would you do that?”
“You need it more than I do,” he began, then winced at the insulting phrasing.
“Stop,” she interrupted flatly, before he could dig himself a bigger hole.
He was right. It would make no impact at all in his life, and could mean the difference between independence and a life of misery in hers. But the last kind of relationship she wanted with him was that of beggar and benefactor… or of libertine and mistress. She wanted a future she could live with. To be able to face her own reflection without flinching.
Slowly, she let out her breath. “I don’t need your money.”
“You do need it.”
“I don’twantit.”
“It’s not my money,” he tried again. “It’s Banfield’s. Look at it another way. It isn’t charity from me. It’s the dowry you should have received from him.”
She lifted her chin. “I already have a dowry.”
“Which is why this money shan’t go toward it. I’m not giving your future husband a thousand pounds. I’m giving it to you, to do with as you please. Marry or don’t. Live the life that you want.” His voice softened. “The choice should be yours.”
Live the life that you want.
If only she could.
Heat pricked Rebecca’s eyes. The life that she wanted was next tothisinsufferable man. She didn’t want a dowry and she didn’t want his thousand pounds. She wantedhim. She always had.
Just as she’d always known she couldn’t have him.
Her heart thumped. As much as she didn’t want someone else’s charity, the truth was that he was right. A thousand pounds free and clear was the best option she had. Better, even, than if the new earl had let her have her dowry outright. This way, he could keep his money and focus on his daughters. Rebecca would never need a dowry unless she happened to fall in love…
She coughed to hide the sob tangling in her throat. She wasalreadyin love, blast it all. No other man would do when the only one she wanted was the one heading back to London—where he’d undoubtedly forget about little Rebecca Bond for another five years. Perhaps longer. After all, wasn’t it past time for him to beget an heir? The society papers would be awash in glee.
Butthistime, she would no longer be here if he happened to drop by Crowmere Castle a decade from now with his viscountess and a coach-full of lordlings. She would have her own life. Her independence. Her pride. Maybe by then, she would forget about him… if only a tiny bit.
“All right,” she said. “Thank you. You’re a good friend.”
He nodded jerkily.
Of course he would. Friendship was why he’d returned at all. Now that he had what he wanted, there was nothing left to keep him.
“Do you have a savings account?” he asked.
“Campbell and Coutts,” she said once she recovered her voice. “If the account’s still open. It hasn’t held a balance in years.”
His expression was inscrutable. “I’ll have the funds transferred immediately.”
“Thank you,” she said again. She meant it. She truly did. If she couldn’t have what she really wanted, he was at least giving her the second best thing: her independence. Freedom.
Tomorrow she’d visit the cottage on the hill. Find out if she could afford to let a small room with a view of the sea. There, she’d try to build a new life. On her own.
“Rebecca…” He took a step closer.
“Play a song for me,” she interrupted, sidestepping out of his path. She didn’t want apologies orif-onlys. Dreams were of no use to either of them. “Play something happy, if you can. We could both use a smile.”
To her surprise, a touch of pink colored his cheeks. “I’ve never played for an audience before.”
