Instead, he was perched on a wooden stool at the long oak counter in Miss Parker’s jeweler’s shop. He read aloud from a leather-bound collection of Ignatius Sancho’s letters whenever Miss Parker was between customers and trying to concentrate on the adornments she was making for the upcoming Yuletide ball at Marlowe Castle.
According to her, Jonathan’s rugged, manly Scottish burr was the perfect tone and volume to disregard completely whilst molding gold or setting jewels. Of course, this was said with a smile. Far from ignoring his endless chatter, she seemed to truly enjoy it. Not with casual amusement, as a hackney driver or haberdasher might. Miss Parker listened carefully. Shewantedto hear Jonathan’s stories. Shelikedhis chatter. It was dizzying.
The frequent conversations that punctuated today’s readings were just as interesting and elucidating as the text itself. Jonathan found himself engaging with the material—with Miss Parker—on a level far more profound than his usual superficial interactions. He wasn’t talkingather. These discussions were something they did together.
Jonathan tried to pretend that entertainment was the only reason he was doing this: perhaps to learn something whilst distracting himself from his wintry plight.
But the truth was, it didn’t feel like a plight. He looked forward to each new morning, because it was another opportunity to see Miss Parker. If she asked it of him, he would have climbed atop his stool and quoted geology texts all day. He liked watching her work.
He liked watching her, full stop.
Her tight black curls, escaping what was meant to be a severe, no-nonsense bun. Her wide brown eyes, framed by curling black lashes. Her dimpled cheeks and kissable lips. The column of her throat, her pulse fluttering at the base. The soft brown skin that invited his touch. The swell of her bosom, displayed to advantage in a pale pink bodice. Just beneath it, the satin ribbon that encircled her ribs. The long, billowing pink skirts that merely hinted at the ample curves beneath. He could scarcely look at her without his heart thumping wildly.
Jonathan must have stopped reading aloud. Miss Parker wasn’t looking at the beautiful piece she was crafting in her hands, but rather across the counter at him.
He should have moved the stool much farther than an arm’s length away. If he put down the book and moved his hand a little to the right, and if she moved hers a little to his left, their fingers would touch.
It shouldn’t feel salacious. He touched her fingers twice a day now, to massage the tension from her hands. He longed to continue his exploratory path up her palms, past her wrists, to the tender skin on the inside of her forearms. He wanted to feel her cheek in his hand, her bodice pressed against him, her curves beneath his palms.
This was why he did not let go of the book, although he’d completely forgotten whatever line he’d last read aloud. He was here to help her work, not to daydream about kissing her.
And yet he leaned closer. Just a little bit. He kept a tight enough grip on the book to turn his fingers white—it shielded them both—but he did tilt ever so slightly further across the scarred oak, like a sapling rising to meet the sun.
Now she seemed closer than she should be. Closer than he’d expected. When he’d leaned toward her, she must have done the same. Their lips were still at an unkissable distance, but that was nothing a moment of madness couldn’t cure.
If he set down the book, perhaps she’d set down her tools. And if she set down the tools, perhaps he’d take her hands in his. And if he took her hands in his, he’d bring them to his lips, one finger at a time. And then once he’d kissed them all, he’d press those soft hands to his galloping heart and cover her mouth with his.
It was a terrible idea.
A wonderful idea.
She set down her tool.
His heart banged against his ribcage. He should not do any of the things he was currently desperate to do. Not only could a customer walk in at any moment... Jonathan wasleaving, and they both knew it. A kiss of any kind, no matter how chaste, was a promise he could not fulfill.
He cleared his throat.
She became inordinately interested in a tiny hammer.
His chest ached. He wondered what would have happened if he hadn’t ruined the moment. Whether they would have regretted the transgression.
Whether it would have been worth it anyway.
He shook his head. Whatever this was between them would have to remain platonic. Friendship, nothing more. Even if the snow forced him to stay in Cressmouth for months, he knew better than to allow the ice about his heart to melt.
Jonathan still remembered the pain when those who weresupposedto love him decided they were better off without him. There was never time for Jonathan. Those he loved,left. He wouldn’t set himself up to be hurt like that again. He wouldn’t let himself be hurt at all.
Polite acquaintances. That was the best thing. Then leaving wouldn’t hurt.
“Mayhap we need jewelry,” he blurted out.
She gestured about her shop without looking up. “We’re surrounded by jewelry.”
“Not you and I,” he said. “I mean Fit for a Duke. Calvin is the most talented tailor I’ve ever had the good fortune to meet, but what of the men not in the market for an entire ensemble? Mightn’t they still desire a small, fashionable touch?”
He was babbling. Why was he babbling? Because he was making this up as he went along. Because he wasn’t thinking about “some men.” He wasn’t thinking about customers at all. He was thinking of himself, and how much he wished he could keep a piece of her with him when he left.
“Signet rings,” he said. No—too fancy, and inherently personal. “Cravat pins. Small, but elegant. Affordable.”
