“But this needs to be said.” He took a deep breath as if gathering courage, then met her eyes. “Although you are not what I’m looking for in a duchess, I cannot deny I enjoy your company. Marrying you will cause even more scandal on top of the unfortunate revelations that occurred today, but by refraining from unbecoming conduct in the future, with time and assiduous effort, I can rebuild some of my lost reputation.”
Cynthia stared at him. “What?”
“For now, the damage has been done,” he said. “My primary concern is the future. Heirs will need to be raised to be respectable pillars. There can be no further embarrassments to the title or the family. I’m sure you understand.”
“I think I do understand,” she said. “Now that there’s a smudge on your sheen and the debutantes youactuallywanted won’t have you, you’ve decided to save your reputation by turning our compromising situation into a surprise betrothal... on condition that I become an entirely different person.”
“Yes,” he said. “Exactly. It’ll save your reputation, too. You’ll be important and watched carefully, but I’m certain you can—”
“I’m certain Icannot,” Cynthia said flatly. “This isn’t a marriage proposal. It’s a script for a performance. You’re not trying to be ‘husband and wife’ but rather ‘duke and duchess.’”
“Iama duke,” he told her. “My wifewillbe a duchess.”
“But that shouldn’t beallshe is, or all thatyouare. Can’t a duchess also be her own person, too?”
His jaw tightened. “Not if she brings shame to—”
“Let me stop you there. Don’t try to ‘save’ me. Save your own reputation by not worrying about mine.” She flashed a teeth-baring smile. “It will apparently shock you to discover that I don’twanta husband who’s ashamed of me. If you’re too embarrassed to be seen with me, go and find a bride you can stand.”
She slammed the door in his face, then sagged her good shoulder against it.
Gertie winced in sympathy. “That went well?”
Cynthia stumbled forward and dropped her forehead onto her cousin’s shoulder. “That was a disaster. I’m a disaster. The only man to ask for my hand led with, ‘You’re an embarrassment. I’m ashamed to acknowledge you publicly, but since we’ve been thoroughly compromised, the preciousrulesforce my hand...’”
“You choose to be a disaster,” Gertie pointed out. “You could follow the rules if you wished to.”
“Idon’twish to.” Cynthia lifted her head. “I couldn’t be what he wants, no matter how hard I tried. He wants perfection. I’m... me.”
“You are perfect,” Gertie said. “I love you exactly as you are. And you’re right. So would your husband... in a love match.”
“Oh, Gertie.” Cynthia scrubbed her face. “Am I being selfish? None of the women in that parlor are hoping to be chosen because of an emotional connection. It’s like a game of whist. Some cards outrank others. Some hands arebetterthan others. It’s not personal. I shouldn’t take it that way. It’s just a game.”
“No,” Gertie said. “I cannot think of anything more personal than choosing the person you intend to spend the rest of your life with. You’re not selfish to want a husband who is pleased to have married you. You’re the bravest person I know. You’d rather have a partner than a title, and you’re not afraid to stand up to a duke.”
“He wasn’t eventryingto ‘win’ me,” Cynthia said. “I don’t want to be the thing he settles for only because I’m what Fate saddled him with. I’d rather be alone than unhappily married to the man I love.”
“So you are in love,” Gertie said softly.
Cynthia swallowed hard. “And now I’ll watch him pick someone else.”
Chapter 14
Alexander tried to make small talk.
All of his conversations felt smaller by the hour.
He couldn’t stop thinking about Cynthia Louise.
She had spent the past three days taking meals in her room. Alexander had spent the past three days with the rest of his party, pretending to feel festive.
He wanted to give her a chance to heal without being plagued by guests, or...him.
He wanted to give her so much more than that.
But she had emphatically declined his offer to marry, and she was right to do so.
Mother had been appalled to learn that Alexander had suggested the union. She had been delighted that at least Cynthia Louise had the good sense not to make a bad situation worse.
