He wanted to save the standings and reputations of his title, his mother, his sister, his future heirs. He wanted to save face. He wanted to save himself from spectacle, from being seen as anything less than proper.
And now he wanted to save Gertie.
“You could do much worse,” Cynthia said. “He’s clever, he’s kind, he’s handsome... He’ll provide for you with everything in his power. He doesn’t know how to do anything else. Once you’re his, he’ll protect you to the ends of the earth. You’re very...”
Lucky.
She rooted through the wardrobe to hide her face from Gertie. When she collected herself, Cynthia selected the fanciest gown, and handed it to her cousin.
“Put this on.”
This time, Gertie didn’t argue.
Cynthia helped dress her in silence.
Gertie was exactly what Alexander was looking for. This was exactly the outcome they’d come in hopes of achieving. Everyone had won.
Huzzah.
“You don’t have to pretend to like this,” Gertie said softly.
Cynthia’s eyes stung with sudden heat. She was glad Gertie couldn’t see her while she laced her cousin’s gown.
“I ruined his plans and his party and he wasn’t even courting me,” Cynthia said. “Just imagine if we were married.”
Just imagine.
It took all her strength to keep the image from her mind.
“Why did you decide to be unmarriageable?” Gertie asked.
“That’s not what I decided,” Cynthia said. “When I realized everyone else already thought that, I decided to do as I pleased. If I’m going to be alone with myself for the rest of my life, I might as well enjoy it. Polite Society rejected me, so I reject them.”
“What if you could have both?” Gertie asked. “What if you could be part of Societyandenjoy your life?”
“Ican’thave both.” Cynthia’s voice cracked. “I tried. I was the picture of propriety until my twenty-fourth birthday. I was such a pathetic wallflower at assemblies, evenIforgot I was there. When I decided to the devil with my reputation, do you know what happened?”
“You lost your Almack’s subscription?”
“Besides that.” Cynthia tied the ribbon and tucked the excess in a hidden panel. “People remembered me. I hadfun. I madefriends. Perhaps not the crowd I’d been raised to covet, but I can go out dancing every night for a year if I wish, and the only danger will be blisters on my feet rather than bunions on my behind.”
Gertie whipped around. “One cannot develop bunions on one’s derrière!”
“You’venever spent seven hours straight perched on one of Almack’s spinster chairs. Losing my voucher was the best thing that could have happened to my derrière.”
“But did you want to lose it?” Gertie asked. “Or did you hope you could be yourself and still be accepted?”
Cynthia smiled sadly. “Does it matter?”
“I think it does.” Gertie’s forehead lined. “If your reaction to their disapproval was to become England’s greatest hoyden for the sake ofimpropriety, then aren’t you doing the same thing as before?”
Cynthia took a step backward. “It’s the opposite of before.”
Gertie shook her head. “All you’ve done is switch out one set of rules for another. Whatever you ‘shouldn’t’ say, you say. Whatever you ‘shouldn’t’ do, you do. You’re as bound to your bad reputation as Nottingvale is to his good one.”
Cynthia stared at her cousin in consternation.
Gertie was right.
