Philippa’s mouth fell open. “That is very rude.”
“So is running away from the person who loves you most.” He lifted a shoulder. “This will be the shortest planning session this parlor has ever seen. You’ve already given yourself a plethora of potential answers. Don’t be a lady. Travel the improper path. Don’t marry well. Live on the margins of society as a spinster who does exactly what she wants.”
“I would if it were just my life in the balance.” Philippa’s voice scratched. “My choices reflect on my family, my friends, and my charity work. I am notPhilippawithout those things. They need me and I—I need them.”
“Must you give them up?”
“Itriedto find a way,” Philippa said, defeated. “To please my parents and to please society and to live with myself. I thought perhaps everyone might be happy if I married Baron Vanderbean.”
“Not Tommy?”
“TommyisBaron Vanderbean.”
“No. She’s Tommy. She’s been courting you as Baron Vanderbean because it’s whatyouwant. She’s been trying to pleaseyou. Even if she’s miserable knowing you’ll only accept her if she’s someone else.”
“Notmypreference,” Philippa stammered. “It’s…”
But itwasher, ultimately. It had been Philippa standing in front of Tommy, Philippa saying Tommy wasn’t acceptable as herself, Philippa saying only Baron Vanderbean would be good enough for her.
Philippahurting the person she loved more than any other.
She hadn’t even said the most important words. She had been so busy explaining what sort of partner would or would not do, that she’d missed the opportunity to mention the tiny little fact that Philippa was hopelessly in love with Tommy. Just Tommy.
Baron Vanderbean had seemed such an easy solution. It had not occurred to Philippa that asking might be hurtful. That it might havebeenhurtful all along.
She rubbed her face. Not only had she asked Tommy to permanently play the role of someone she was not…Philippa would have become Baroness Vanderbean, taking social precedence over the actual Wynchesters. It wasn’t much of a compromise if Philippa was the only one to come out on top.
One of the things Philippa had always cherished about Tommy was her empathy. Yet Philippa had not shown the same character. She had been selfish as a partner, as a lover, as a friend…Her shoulders crumpled.
Tommy had mentioned that every time she took on the role of the false Baron Vanderbean, she was reminded of herrealBean. It made her uncomfortable and sad. How could she be expected to submit to a lifetime of such conflict and memories?
“Brothers may not be horrid beasts after all,” she mumbled. “Imight be the horrid beast.”
Graham inclined his head. “Admitting it sounds like the first step of a promising new plan.”
Philippa’s throat thickened and she averted her gaze.
“We cannot choose whom we love,” Graham said, “but we can choose what to do about it. If you and Tommy found joy, then you should hold on to each other. I want both of you to be happy.”
He would. The Wynchesters were the loveliest family Philippa had ever met. How she wished her own felt that way about her.
“We want the same for you,” Graham added. “You should, too.”
She stared at him, startled. It was as though he had read her thoughts and gave her what she most needed.
Graham smiled gently. “You are within your rights to seek your own joy. Of course you wish no ill upon your friends or family. They should feel the same about you. If they do not, what are you really missing?”
Love.
He was right. Friends and family should want the best for each other. If Philippa’s parents did not care about her happiness, then it was up to her to find her own. She was uncertain what would happen with her charity projects, but highborn ladies were not the only possible benefactors. Wynchesters did impossible things every day.
It was time Philippa did, too.
Starting with making up for one very bad mistake.
“I hurt Tommy,” Philippa said wretchedly. “I didn’t mean to, but I did. This mess…I did it to myself. Instead of just saying yes to what I really wanted.Her.”
Graham’s dark eyes were grave.
